Perspective, yes, that's the word I want to use here, perspective is a funny thing. If you were to ask me, I would be ever so certain that recent events covered a span of, at minimum, a few years. "More than the tusks on the face but less than the legs below" as Old Uncle Everfort used to say; he'd never say three, you understand, because of a slight speech impediment he had. Since he went to all that trouble to come up with a way to not say the dreaded word, he would often go out of his way to group things into sets of three. He would never say his own name for the same reason. Grandmother used to tease him terribly about it; Errwhuhfwoht I think she called him. The old girl could be quite vicious when she wanted to be.
At any rate, I have been assured that the events of earlier this afternoon lasted no more than a matter of mere seconds and that, if anything, we actually would have gained almost exactly an hour rather than losing time if indeed years had passed. Something about different time zones, whatever those are, and the passage of the seasons relative to the alignment of the stars and I'm not certain what all else. I remain unconvinced but the same source assures me that dragons are an absolute authority on this sort of thing. Of course, I've always been assured that dragons were aware of time before time existed somehow. You'd be surprised how much authority the ability to breathe fire can lend any statement.
When last I left off, I believe that I was telling of a tuskstick going downstairs. I'm not entirely certain what he did down there since my attention was soon drawn to the other digbeards arriving on my level. Level of the footrest, mind you, there's not a digbeard alive on my intellectual and cultural level. Whatever he did, it was soon accomplished since he returned with a great deal of satisfaction.
Now, you have to understand that I'm not entirely certain what happened or why it happened. I can only relay things as I directly observed or recalled directly observing. I will consult my colleagues and see if a more complete narrative emerges. But enough dilly-dallying.
One of them eventually separated from the herd and headed downstairs. As is their habit from time to time, he played with a small stick with a round rock attached. I cannot recall if I have described this game before so I might as well do so now. The game is ever the same and involves merely moving a stick back and forth. Sometimes this is done but once and at others, it is down in rapid succession. Various noises always accompany these actions; sometimes, it resembles an extended peal of thunder and sometimes it sounds like a herd of rhinoceroses wandering around. Either way, digbeard laughter is the most common result with thin layers of dust covering everything in sight being a distant second.
I believe that this was the first time I ever saw the direct result of said play; the digbeards had created several clear floors out of stone and you could see down a considerable distance. It was rather, and I admit sadly, underwhelming since it simply opened the trapdoor that had earlier been the recipient of some angry pummeling by creatures unknown. The result of that was far more impressive however since a vast variety of demons erupted onto that patch of ground. Have you ever seen a hornet's nest struck by a rock thrown by a mischievous monkey? The overall effect was quite similar.
I do not know what the demons expected exactly since there were no targets of value on that level or even a digbeard for that matter. I doubt that even these misbegotten lunatics would remain standing around in the midst of a horde of demons. I have to say that the sight was impressive though it hardly seemed to make the expected impression on the crowd around me. They laughed and pointed and, upon being noticed, even began to wave. I suppose having distance and two thick layers of clear stone gives one confidence that would not exist otherwise.
I believe that one of them noticed the digbeards waving at him. I'll never forget the expression. I sincerely hope that you never have to see the facial expressions of a tick demon, or, indeed, any foul creature from the depths. For one thing, it's hard to interpret anything with those ghastly features. I believe that it was surprise but it could have been angry, happiness, or mild indigestion. Whatever it was, I'll carry that with me to the end of my days.
I got a good look at those features because that was when IT happened. There was the distinctive loud click of the stick and round rock towards the middle of the room and the various trees on the level below us disappeared. Not cut down or fell over, mind you, but disappeared. If that was the fourth oddest thing I'd seen that day, I could go to the Burial Ground a happy elephant.
The trees disappeared and then time froze for me. I had the distinct sensation such that you have with a leg in the air but with all four legs at once. Floating off the ground I suppose is how I'd describe it; possibly that is what that jumping nonsense is all about, but, being an elephant, I'll not experiment in such shenanigans to find out.
So, the sensation of not being on solid footing and things beginning to freeze in place began. If you were to tell me that the universe itself had strained to comprehend the events at hand and had nearly collapsed before figuring out a way to cope, I would believe it without hesitation. After that horrible interval of compressed years, things... I cannot bring myself to describe the situation as reverting to normal. I've spoken before about the weird sensation of time while dreaming but this was no dream. I would say it was a nightmare and stomp my feet for a dramatic sting but that would be trite. Let me say that time started back up again and go from there.
Time started back up again and I had the sensation that the floor below me was rising and carrying the entire footrest up to the surface. I realized after a brief second that quite the opposite was happening, but on the floor below that. I happened to glance over at the face of the tick demon I had noticed previously. This expression was quite easy to figure out; it was the face of a being who looked into the Eyes of Utter Madness and could only cope with the most foul of curses.
In other words, it's the same expression I have every time I look in a pool of water. The expression of one who has come into contact with the digbeard. That tick demon is lucky though since his experience ended after only that brief encounter. Though I suppose it was less of an encounter with the digbeards and more a direct encounter with the floor of the entire level above him followed by the floor directly below him and the floor below that as well. The dust still hasn't settled even now but I doubt that there were any survivors. I expect that there isn't a living thing left beneath our feet.
I had always heard rumors of dark, terrifying things lurking beneath the soil but no horror story yet imagined can encompass the insane designs of the humble digbeard.
Next time: The Footrest Fell or Time Stamps Ever Onward.
Author
Topic: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large. (Read 50666 times)