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Author Topic: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.  (Read 50685 times)

squeakyReaper

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #30 on: September 29, 2010, 06:47:47 pm »

Nah, I mean the dwarven in game equivalent.  But there's a lot about DF I don't know.   :P
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gumball135

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #31 on: October 01, 2010, 09:00:32 am »

''Next time: Reginald and his new Firey Friend and or The Unbearable Sweetness of Being''

Maybe Imps jumping out of Magma Channels instead of Jacks out of Boxes?

''SURPRISE!!!''
*Fireball to the face*
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You could start a zoo and end up with a natural history museum, I'm sure no one would mind.

Ubiq

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #32 on: October 05, 2010, 05:24:01 pm »

We had a new arrival today while I was in the Dining Hall. The hubbub on the surface brought me out to see what was going on. The source of the excitement was a cage being carried by a digbeard; the cage was evidently quite heavy as the digbeard was bent over nearly double and stumbled along with it quite slowly.

The cage itself was a sight to behold. A great green tail sticking out of one side, a great bat-like wing protruding out of two other sides, one held at an awkward vertical angle and the other at the horizontal. The inhabitant was, as should be obvious by this point, a greatly embarassed dragon. A dragon! Noble among beasts, second only to the elephants themselves, and vastly larger than the cage he now found himself in. Digbeards seem to have a talent for this sort of thing; I once watched a single digbeard stack several hundred rocks on top of each other without the pile ever seeming to grow in the least. I started to speak to him, but he cut me off with a brusque, thunderous "Not a word." Exceedingly rude, but quite easy to forgive under the circumstances.

I watched with a great deal of interest as Purple Poltroon fed the new citizen a small bit of fish and another digbeard released him from the cage. The dragon, obviously and understandly in high dudgeon, attempted to adopt a dignified air, but this is quite difficult when a cage has compacted you into a roughly cube shaped object that has to walk on tiptoe with two wings at odd angles. It was several hours before he stretched out enough to regain his customary, impressive size.

He also regained what seems to be his typical gregarious nature. I don't know what got him started talking, but he soon began with a veritable avalanche of dialogue. In quantity as well as volume. The old boy says everything with a voice that could raise an entire graveyard. Perhaps it was a gold statue of a fluffy wambler in the Dining Hall that brought him back to a good mood; he considers it quite fetching. After a brief period, he apologized for his rudeness and introduced himself as Luto Firetamed the Sparkling Syrupy Sweetness of Warmth. "Doubtless a fearful name uttered only in low tones by the respectful and spoken aloud only by the foolish!" boomed Luto with a toothy smile. After seeing those teeth, I believe him.

Luto is often the center of digbeard attention as they seem particularly interested in his scales, teeth, and claws. Luto tends to oblige them by showing off these features. A yawn alone merits a chorus of impressed chattering from the yokel audience. This piques Eydri no end, which amuses me greatly.

...

The digbeards have been up to something lately. I'm not sure what exactly, but it involves the fire mountain behind us. I believe they're trying to bring that rockclad melting water down to us for some odd reason. They also seem to be building some sort of overland tunnel towards the small finger of the sea that lies near the bottom of the fire mountain. As with any other digbeard enterprise, no good can come of this.

Next time: Reginald and The Bottle Imp or It's a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight!
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Moonlit_Knight

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #34 on: October 05, 2010, 06:58:00 pm »

same.
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Karnewarrior

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #35 on: October 06, 2010, 09:03:24 pm »

This is due to become the next... I want to say Boatmurdered, but that's not a good comparison. Can anyone help me? What's a great DF story that didn't involve the protagonist going out in a blaze of glory that makes the sun look cold?
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Kobold Troubadour

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #36 on: October 06, 2010, 11:12:20 pm »

« Last Edit: October 06, 2010, 11:16:36 pm by Kobold Troubadour »
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Ubiq

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #37 on: October 07, 2010, 01:24:37 am »

In an apparent bid to increase security, the digbeards have began excavating a large pit out in front of the fortress. Day in and day out, they continue to delve into the deeps. Another digbeard has set to work on a bridge across the gap. I'm not sure why they feel they need the added security; nothing has so much as made it within a trunklength of the front gate in the past few weeks. Even the Squeakies seem to have taken a sabbatical from their attempts to steal whatever digbeard junk is on hand.

---

The pit project continues apace. They're so far down that I can barely even hear them anymore. The bridge has been finished and looks rather nice all things considered. I'm not sure about the wisdom of using a shiny rock to make it out of though as it's rather slippery to walk across. Meanwhile, the fire water project seems to be nearing completion through the sea tunnel is still a long way aways from being finished.

---

The digbeards have come back up in a bit of a hurry. It appears that they tunnelled into a massive cave system and were welcomed by a rather sizable shagtusk. It apparently injured one of them and then received the usual response from a tuskstick-wielding digbeard. At least, I assume that's what happened since the corpse was brought up to the surface garbage heap with a tuskstick still lodged in its face. As a scientific experiment, I tossed one of the local rats off the bridge into the depths. I believe I heard it splash a short time later. I assume that means there is water down there.

---

We had a visitor today. A certain titan by the name of Asmu Smosdu or Axmu Smazdu or something like that. A great towering elk of salt with two tails and a rather quaint, austere look. It bellowed its challenge to the heaven in a great, ringing voice and strode forward to display its terrible wrath and incomparable power. It did this by stepping out onto the bridge and cracking it asunder with its mighty hooves. The twit is probably still falling. An intellectual titan he was not.

---

According to Luto, Asax (I think that was the name) was "a Mountain Titan. Not the sharpest bolt in the quiver if you catch my drift." Luto made his acquaintance while on what he calls a shopping spree. He often speaks of these sprees with a wistful longing that would be more worrisome if not for the fact that that he often allows digbeard calves to interrupt his stories so that they can rub his belly. A dragon exposing his belly to anyone is something that usually just isn't done.

---

Today was a bit of a surprise. The digbeards tunnelled up the rear wall and connected that tunnel to two other, much shorter tunnels. One of them lead to an odd-shaped building that was covered by odd-looking trees while the other was a long, low building with a bunch of holes in the ground. There has been some work on the sides, but it's largely just two walls and a canopy at this point. There was a bit of a panic when they allowed some of the fire water to come down the mountain to test the system and a short, red fellow that seemed to be made out of fire jumped out of one of the holes. This probably would have not been a problem for me personally if I had not been wandering around the building to see what the, if you'll excuse the expression, hubbub was about. Worse, the hole that the jackanape popped up out of was one I has just walked around.

The nasty little bugger threw a fireball at me and singed my tail! MY TAIL! To be sure, it's a modest one and not in the category as Luto or Eydri's, but it is mine and I have a great deal of attachment to it. Damage was fairly minimal, thankfully, and is not lasting in any way but the principle alone made this a potential calamity. Moreover, the brute seemed to punctuate his attack with a high-pitched, piping laugh.

This grievous insult could not be ignored so I kicked him in the face. The horrible little beast went flying towards the front entrance and hit one of the cage traps. As luck would have it, it was one of those new-fangled, transparent cages that seem to be all the rage these days. The digbeards have put him to work in the Dining Hall as a giant lamp by placing the cage near the fountain. I have to say that this has greatly improved the ambience. The Hall has went all the way from dank and rather dark to dank and merely poorly-lit. Upon thought, this is somewhat unfair as the dim light reflects off the jewels on all the furniture quite nicely. The digbeards are all atwitter over this. They seem to be intent on catching more of them now and have constructed several such clear cage traps around the holes. It's possible that this what they intended from the start, but it seems such a small outcome from such a large project.

Next time: Reginald gets a new boss or The Artisan and the Elephant!
« Last Edit: October 07, 2010, 02:59:19 am by Ubiq »
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Meta

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #38 on: October 07, 2010, 04:36:16 am »

Loving this story so far! :D
Can't wait for the next part !
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squeakyReaper

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #39 on: October 07, 2010, 03:05:52 pm »

Kicked him right in the face.  What a boss.
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BurningLed

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #40 on: October 07, 2010, 07:58:08 pm »

I can just imagine the voice ringing out from nowhere as Reginald angrily turns towards the goblin: "THIS. IS. SPARTA~AGH!
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IIRC, 'overkill' is not a concept that exists in the dwarven psyche.

synkell

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #41 on: October 08, 2010, 06:34:10 am »

Totally Awesome!
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Ubiq

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #42 on: October 11, 2010, 06:52:00 pm »

We had another group of rockclads show up with another shagtusk the other day. This group came from over the fire mountain and decided to pay a visit to the digbeard's river of fire water. Since there was plenty of said fire water to go around, the digbeards had temporarily sealed it off with a thin slab of reddish rock. The shagtusk promptly sauntered up to said rock slab and punched a hole in it. Gad, it's a wonder that they ever live long enough to breed. The smell of burning hair and rockclads still lingers over the entire footrest even now. Eydri seems to agony over it though I suppose having seven sets of nostrils would make things seven times worse.

I will say this for the digbeards, when action demands, they can sometimes be prompt and can even surprise you. After the fire water enveloped the latest sacrifices to the altar of sublime stupidity, a digbeard pushed down on a sort of rock stick and another thin red slab popped up behind the site of the first. I suppose the closer one was just a temporary patch or that work had not been finished on it yet. After the fire water disappeared a short while later, I noticed a redclad digbeard hiking up the side with a large round rock on his back. I'm not sure what the point was, but I suspect it was part of repairing the damage inflicted by the late Shagtusk and Company.

---

I've been keeping an eye on a blueclad digbeard for a while now. An oddball this one; he was in the Dining Hall one day idling away the hours in idle chitchat with another of the species and suddenly started walking around in a trance. He wondered around for a period and then claimed a small building as his own after kicking out the current inhabitant. One would think that this would make the other digbeard indignant, but it did not. The entranced digbeard then began moving all about the footrest, picking up various rocks, clear, shiny, and otherwise, pieces of leaves, quite a few walloon bones, an odd bit of leather here and there. At times, he would cease his activities and simply sit in his building while passing time by dragging a stick back and forth across the ground. I think he was making lines in the dirt, erasing them, and then drawing over them again.

After a while, he would either decide he has waited long enough and takes off to go get an item or it somehow became available. I think these periods of waiting have made the other digbeards rather nervous as the others often glance at him and mutter beneath their breath. I suppose this is the reason that I was assigned to follow him. I believe that to be a mistake actually; from what I gather, Purple Imbecile told a random greenclad to have one of the higher species of creatures keep the blueclad out mischief and the poor fellow chose me instead of one of the multitude of dogs that were apparently intended for this purpose. At any rate, I'm clad to be free of the purpleclad nuisance.

So I stand around for a long period and watch Blueclad with interest. I'm not sure what the intent is here. Presumably, he has an entire list of tasks to perform and these materials are for each of those tasks.

---

That last bit of translucent greenish rock he fetched after waiting for a few days must have been what he was waiting for. The Blueclad works like a digbeard possessed and has done so since the moon went to a quarter. It is now nearly full and his pace has not slacked once. He neither stops to break his fast or rest, but works on that one piece of white rock nonstop. Surprisingly, everything that he collected has been used on that first white rock. I'm not sure how that will work in the long run exactly since one of the objects he collected was a cube of reddish rock vastly larger than the object he is working on. "These digbeards are mad" I say to a small puppy as it passes by. The dog merely nods and continues to follow a fatish digbeard carrying a large rock. That seems to be half the life of these creatures; carrying rocks, making things out of those rocks, and then going to get more rocks.

Not to be, apologies, dogmatic about it, but I've never quite understood the affection dogs have for digbeards. Sure, loyalty is one thing, but the dogs seem genuinely content to be around creatures that are, for lack of a better phrase, totally insane. Even now, they are constructing an extremely flimsy looking set of rock and wooden stairways that form a rough cube around the center of the footrest. Up and up and up towers this series of scaffolding, but for what purpose? To what end? For what benefit? But I digress.

The Blueclad has apparently finished his project while I was lost in thought. It's one of the musical instruments that I believe the pointy-ears called a harp. Apparently the only way to play it is to hold it in one arm, raise the other to the sky, and bring it crashing down the side to make a loud thrumming noise. No, I must correct that, it also seems possible to play it normally though at a much faster rate than usual. The other digbeards seem enchanted by the sound it makes as well as its... unique appearance and have granted Blueclad a rousing series of "Huzzahs!"

After that brief moment though, the digbeards go about their business as usual while Blueclad suddenly realizes that he hasn't eaten for about a half moon. As he heads to the Dining Hall to remedy the situation, there is a great commotion from up above. Being naturally curious, not a feline, and therefore safe to indulge in said curiosity, I head upstairs to see what the matter is. Bah, nothing more than a group of rockclads. Well, make that several groups of rockclads. Make that, well, my, but that's a lot of rockclads.

Next time: A City and Elephant Besieged or The March to Keep Fear Alive!
« Last Edit: October 11, 2010, 11:53:43 pm by Ubiq »
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Karnewarrior

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #43 on: October 11, 2010, 07:46:23 pm »

 ???
Did that dorf just...
 :o
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Argembarger

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Re: The Life and Times of Reginald Goblinstomper, Elephant at Large.
« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2010, 08:19:02 pm »

Urist McHendrix cancels Put Item in Stockpile: Kissing Sky
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