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Author Topic: Justifying embark sites  (Read 13533 times)

celem

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #30 on: October 25, 2010, 08:44:55 am »

It's not an embark so much as seven dwarves having a simultaneous strange mood and going off to build an artifact fortress that menaces with spikes of awesome and hanging rings of death.

I lol'd

Ive generally justified somewhat dubious sites with *broken-down wagon*
Or
The starting 7 are being punished for failing to make rope reed furniture for the picky king.  It was the terrifying Jungle of Assorted Doom on the shore of the equally terrifying Ocean of Abandoned Hope........... or the Hammerer
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Marksdwarf Pillboxes
I wish I had something cool to say about this.  Because it's really cool.

Scylla

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2010, 03:34:57 pm »

Urist the Miner: Excuse me, Expedition leader? would you mind telling us why we stopped ON TOP OF A GOBLIN TOWER?
Urist the Leader: What? Goblin tower? Where?
Urist the Miner: WE'RE ON TOP OF IT!
Urist the Leader:Oh, well I'll be damned.
Urist the Miner: How did you even get the wagon up here?
Urist the Leader: Clever bastards... Must've built it from right from beneath us!
Urist the Miner: Sir, that doesn't even make sense!
Urist the Leader: Oh quit yer bellyaching and go mine some ore, Obsidian doesn't make itself you know!
Urist the Miner: Yes it does! and besides that this tower is FILLED WITH GOBLINS!
Urist the Leader: Good point! Go mine some of those too while your at it!
That made me laugh so hard i can see sparks. Sigged.
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Urist the Miner: Expedition leader? would you mind telling us why we stopped ON TOP OF A GOBLIN TOWER?
Urist the Leader: What? Goblin tower? Where?
Urist the Miner: WE'RE ON TOP OF IT!How did you even get the wagon up here?
Urist the Leader: Clever bastards... Must've built it from right from beneath us!

The Merchant Of Menace

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2010, 04:39:30 pm »

I always reckoned it was a penal cokony/insane asylum. Most dwarfs aren't alcoholic, manic depressives who go psycho and kill babies whenever they don't get their way, they're just the ones sent to your colonies.
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*Hugs*

Musashi

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #33 on: December 12, 2010, 10:23:00 am »

Depends of the location. For now, I've gotten quite tame/convenient embarks.
"Windslap... Windslap... hey, guys, let's build a buncha windmills to power our stuff."
"Dun the windmills gotta be aboveground to work?"
"Yes they do."
"I dinnae wanna spend the rest of my life building aboveground shit and cut wood."
"If this place was called 'Waterslap' then we could maybe consider improvising watermills with the two carp-infested murky pools we got, but until further notice, this is not Waterslap but Windslap. Also, we need a nice, high tower up in the air so we can feel the wind better, and launch prisoners from. Y'know, through the air."
"Ach, good thing we're not in Bowelpaints or something then."

But once I try more dwarfy stuff, it is probably going to end up this way...
"We lost two more miners today, but I'm confident that we'll get enough clueless migrants soon who didn't hear about the guys encased in ice."
"What are we building first again, boss, by the way?"
"A large reservoir powered by the damn aquifer. As engineers, we must check if it is possible to build a lasting fortress with an aquifer, a global sewer system, and a statue of Armok that shits war dogs. Oh, and completely safe freezing traps that will only catch invaders and elfs and nothing else."
"Why do we have to check that? The mountainhome's down south in the desert, this must be the only aquiferous place in the whole country, there are 3 other colonies planning to make much better monuments to Armok, there are many better ways to dispose of goblins including but no limited to pointy stuff, blunt stuff, cages and magma, and we don't need no sewer."
"We're doing it for !!SCIENCE!!, Urist, remember that. Then when we're done with that, we will flood the whole place and give our report to the king."
"Why flood it?"
"So nobody will steal our technology."
"Wouldn't it be simpler to keep it intact for latter use since, if we succeed, we will kinda have proved your project is possible?"
"And never get to apply my theory according to which only 3 pumps, 5 doors and a dead potash maker is well enough to get all the water out of a frozen fortress? Never!"
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Encased in burning magma

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #34 on: December 12, 2010, 11:19:40 am »

For me, it's either the king going "fuck you guys", the navigator being completely drunk, or the dwarves just not caring.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #35 on: December 12, 2010, 12:12:21 pm »

I think you mean the navigator was sober.
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Beeskee

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #36 on: December 12, 2010, 12:28:36 pm »

"Why are we settling in fairy elf land?"

"Two words. Unicorn. Steaks."


Besides, it's funny to have a refuse pile full of dead fairies that were killed by cats.
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UnrealJake

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #37 on: December 12, 2010, 12:59:32 pm »

I like to imagine they're the seven most useless Dwarfs in the mountainhomes. So they throw a party that#s ACTUALLY a party.

When we're dangerously drunk we steal traffic cones and can't get the keys in the lock. When Dwarves are dangerously drunk they steal a wagon full of supplies and accidently make a fort.

Of course, it would have to be a long party for dwarfs to get dangerously drunk.
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Mantonio

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Re: Justifying embark sites
« Reply #38 on: December 12, 2010, 03:22:14 pm »

"Stop here, this is a good spot!"

"...really?"

"Yes! There's a river here, we can tap into that for irrigation and such, and you can see for miles around!"

"That's the problem! Few trees for fuel, no mountains for coal! How are we going to get anything done? This grassland is overrated!"

"Oh shut up and get digging!"

- FIVE MINUTES LATER -

"OH ARMOK STOP THOSE MACAQUES THEY'RE TAKING ALL THE ROPE AND DRINKS-"

"OH ARMOK THE BUZZARDS STOP THE BUZZARDS BEFORE THEY TAKE ALL THE FOOD-"

"WHY DID WE COME HERE NOW THE RIVER IS FROZEN AND IT'S ONLY LATE AUTUMN OH ARMOK WHY"
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