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[DukeOfVandals]

First, I had a fort on the border of a calm wilds and terrifying sea, so zombie whales and sharks and marlins kept creeping out and trying to send me a welcoming party. To top it off, there was a cyclops hanging it on top of a peak nearby, but he was ignoring me and just kept killing cats that went over to say hi.

The whole fort eventually died of dehydration because I forgot that as of 31.12 (or whenever it was) wells don't desalinate water.

Then, I tried to reclaim.

Reclaim went something like this:

Strike the earth!

d-b-c

Urist McExpeditionLeader has been struck down!

Urist McMiner has been struck down!

Urist McFarmer has been struck down!

Urist McMason has been struck down!


Turns out Mr. Cyclops had decided to come over and ask if we had any plans to send him some more kitty snacks.

[drvoke]

0.31.10

All embarked dwarves were eliminated by a wild ogre within the first year of embark.

[Aramco]

I embarked on an island, saw the ocean was frozen, and decided to dig a fort in there. I forgot that it wasn't a freezing biome...

I've done this. Mine was when I got attacked by a Megabeast living in a cave, who pushed two of my Dwarves into the volcano, the other five were torn apart.

[darkflagrance]

In 40d, I embarked next to a river full of carp. I lost my first seven within five minutes.

Not content with that, I reclaimed. It seems the dwarves feared the carp so much they gave me the maximum 70 axe lords to take back the river from its abyssal inhabitants.

Half the army soon dodged into the river and drowned, or was torn limb from limb. The rest of the army began to tantrum and massacre each other, leading to further chaos, until the last dwarf, with an eye torn out by a pike and his legs severed by a berserk companion, bled out on the sand.

[Aramco]

In 40d, I embarked next to a river full of carp. I lost my first seven within five minutes.

Not content with that, I reclaimed. It seems the dwarves feared the carp so much they gave me the maximum 70 axe lords to take back the river from its abyssal inhabitants.

Half the army soon dodged into the river and drowned, or was torn limb from limb. The rest of the army began to tantrum and massacre each other, leading to further chaos, until the last dwarf, with an eye torn out by a pike and his legs severed by a berserk companion, bled out on the sand.

Them carp. Their monsters. Watch for them.

[Jake]

Not counting the occasions when I abandoned before the inevitable catastrophe actually happened, my second ever attempt at embarking in a region with a magma pipe holds the record.
I think they'd been their for two in-game weeks at most when my hunter took it into his head to have a crack at a fire imp. Five dwarves, all my animals and half the food were caught on the wrong side of the swiftly-expanding ring of fire. A few days later another dwarf took a direct hit from a fireball and died almost instantly.
Somehow, the lone survivor scraped by until the spring, and the arrival of the caravan. He realised there are two fire imps lurking near the trade depot (I'd made the stupid rookie mistake of digging in right next to the open lava pit), grabbed one of the crude obsidian shortswords he'd made to barter for booze and tried to take them out before they could start shooting at the merchants.
The caravan arrived just in time to watch him get roasted alive.

Reclaim managed to be an even bigger clusterfuck, reduced to two melancholy, one berserk and one mostly functional dwarf by midsummer. I had the last sane dwarf drill through the pipe and flood the whole cursed dump with lava.

[iceball3]

I genned a world with too many caves. The moment i embarked, there where literally many hundred cave dwellers all over the place. including 38 giants.

[Vhorthex]

I embarked on an island, saw the ocean was frozen, and decided to dig a fort in there. I forgot that it wasn't a freezing biome...

You dug an ice fortress that melted...

Wow! That must of been "fun" when things started melting... or does it "melt" in one shot? lol

[RedWarrior0]

40d. Not mine.

[Jacob/Lee]

The incident where I spawned right next to an exposed magma pipe. A fire imp proceeded to burn everything, and all my food burnt up.

/abandon

Fire imps have the balls to burn down anything that you own, oh, and the fireballs required too.

[Emily]

Embarked near a river in what was supposed to be a nonthreatening biome.  Alligator emerged from the river after like, 20 minutes of planning things before I'd unpaused the fort to start playing.

After it ate all my pets I just gave up, since i had no military with me, and it seemed inevitable that it would turn on my dwarves.  Plus I wasn't going for that sort of Fun....

[Fanklok]

Dug down exploring to see if I could find anything interesting and hit a cavern 2 years later a forgotten beast came lumbering up and eat everyone, jackass even destroyed my coffins.

[shibdib]

My first attempt at a fort in a terrifying biome.. was actually my last fort.. I unpaused and immediately came under attack by 6 harpys... andd that was all she wrote.

[Ubiq]

It may have taken longer than some of these others, but for sheer embarassment, it's hard to beat one 40d fort that I abandoned.

Seconds after starting, I got several messages.

If I recall correctly, it was something like:

Urist McMason cancels Construct Table; Interrupted by Rhesus Macaque.
Urist McCarpenter cancels Construct Bed; Interrupted by Rhesus Macaque.
Urist McFisher cancels Fish; Interrupted by Rhesus Macaque.
Rhesus Macaque has become enraged! x2.
Stray Dog has been struck down! x 2.
Urist McFarmer has been struck down!
Rhesus Macaque has become enraged!
Urist Miner has been struck down!

About a minute later:

A Rhesus Macaque has stolen an Iron Anvil (x1)!

There was the straw that broke the one-humped camel's back.

[petersohn]

Tried to build a fortress directly in the first cavern. A troll came, killing 6 of the 7 dwarves before being killed himself. The 7th went insane.