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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 6519818 times)

bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142455 on: February 11, 2019, 02:59:49 am »

"Why do you have to go to work?"
"For money?"
"So you... so you can get sweets?"
"....yes."
so I can get laptops
so I can go to work
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Reelya

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142456 on: February 11, 2019, 03:07:16 am »

Pre-sliced pieces of cheese suck and no longer taste like cheese
Maybe if you go to some hell-store where cheese is sliced with rusty blades weeks in advance, and stored in the open air directly over a dumpster...

For the most part, pre-sliced tastes fine. Maybe not quite as good as something fresh off the block, but it's certainly more convenient.

Probably because Americans are more addicted to the calorie ingestion than the taste so they don't care anymore. Gotta get those calories in fast. We also have to remember than Anglo people (Americans, UK, Australians) eat plastic-wrapped processed "cheese" slices. The type of cheese that we're talking about being pre-sliced isn't good cheese. Often it's not even named anything. Here the cheap stuff is just called "Tasty Cheese".
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 03:09:14 am by Reelya »
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142457 on: February 11, 2019, 03:09:21 am »

Yeah that's in line with a lot of my cisnormal peers and some of my queer ones.
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Castlecliff

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142458 on: February 11, 2019, 03:10:05 am »

How dare you  ;D

Well that's enough talk tonight. I have important business to attend to.
Can't you see. Im an important fellow
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 03:17:48 am by Castlecliff »
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142459 on: February 11, 2019, 03:17:42 am »

...

I happen to like actual cheese, thank you.  Some nice soft muenster on some captains wafers... mmmmm...

"American cheese" is not actually cheese.  No.  Really, it's not cheese.  It's mostly vegetable oil, water, salt and food coloring.  Other than the salt, none of those should actually be found in a quality cheese. (not as an added ingredient anyway.) 

I can see how pre-slicing would ruin the flavor profiles of some of the more pungent cheeses, like aged Swiss, Parmesan, and pals. (once exposed to air, many of the compounds that comprise the flavor profile evaporate. Cheeses that have rinds would all suffer.)


Most americans do not cook these days, so I would not expect most americans to understand the subtlties of different cheeses, their textures, melting profiles, and flavor profiles-- or how to use them constructively to enhance a dish. (or realize that one does not need to add a 5lb block of cheddar to their au gratin, because after a certain point, you can't increase the cheese flavor by adding more cheese, due to cheese being a subtle and complex flavor.)
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overseer05-15

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adult food like, I presume, steak and potatoes and tax forms,

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Naxza

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142461 on: February 11, 2019, 04:23:04 am »

You, uh, wanna back up that statement that Americans don't cook? Granted, in poor communities, it may be hard to get fresh foods for cooking because of, what are they called, food oases? One supermarket that's accessible safely/in traveling distance/affordably, but that's indicative of a greater problem relating obesity and poverty.

Also, why have we decided that Americans don't think about flavor? Hell, isn't the UK the land of hopelessly boiled vegetables and meat pies? The height of flavor in New Zealand is a flat white, and that's just a cup of what's more milk than coffee.

Yes, 'American' cheese is an affront to cheese everywhere. Calling it dairy byproduct is like calling shit 'food afterproduct' and marketing it as edible. If we didn't have half-decent cheese, we wouldn't have famous Chicago-style deep dish pizzas, or pretty much any of Wisconsin, whose football fans wear giant foam cheese wedges on their heads. Or curds so fresh they squeak as you chew them.... Hnnnnnghh, I miss it. Bread 'em and deep fry them for a truly exquisite taste- sorry, maybe that's not 'delicate' enough for your evolved tongues. More for us, then.

Would be better to relate American cheese to the need to cut costs and turn a profit, 'cuz we sure don't go clamoring for another mouthful of the stuff, but you're gonna want some kind of cheese if you're making two dozen burgers for a cookout or wanna shave a few cents off every patty being served under yon golden arches.

And you know what? Back home, I could buy a one-pound block of cheese for five bucks, and it'd be the farm fresh stuff. Use that block, a few beers, and a whole host of sausages and vegetables, and baby, you've got a beer cheese chowder on your hands and it's absolutely divine. 'Hearty' is no subtle flavor, but hearty's what you're gonna want when it's twenty below (in Fahrenheit, ya civilized bastards) and can't pack down, I dunno, frigging lutefisk or a handle of vodka to get through the cold night.

I will have none of this disparaging of my people and its cuisine- we've got issue enough, but exemplifying the lowest common denominator of a subsection of our food and then calling out the whole country by that standard is awfully insincere and undermines much of what we make well. It's a shitty way of putting down a subsection of people, something we need no more of ourselves.

/triggered
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142462 on: February 11, 2019, 04:27:33 am »

-snip-
bitch tell me you didn't just say that espresso is on a lower rung of the cuisine ladder than American gritcoffee.
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Arx

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142463 on: February 11, 2019, 04:29:16 am »

Espresso, drip, and press coffee (hot or cold) all have their own individual strengths and weaknesses, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. It's a matter of personal preference, the blend, and how it's served.
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142464 on: February 11, 2019, 04:34:33 am »

Yeah, it's just the cheese that isn't cheese, the beer that isn't beer, and gods-fucking candied yams which aren't even yams and for fuck's sake why are you taking a perfectly tasty and healthy tuber and mixing it with marshmallows.

Anyways, most Norwegian cheese is actually pretty amazingly dull and dreadful. We have "white cheese" which is unassuming and nonhostile, and then there's "yellow cheese" which is exactly the same thing and also still pretty much the same color.

Then there's brown cheese, which dares to be different and is also technically not cheese in the traditional sense. Somewhat difficult to slice without a slicer, to boot.


As for the slicer vs knife argument, well yes... You could use a kitchen knife to shave your chin, but it's generally agreed that a razor is easier to use and gives a more even shave. A cheese slicer functions in exactly the same way.

And I did actually go around with a loaf of bread and giant block of cheapo cheese in my backpack for a few days in the army, ripping off bread chunks and accompanying with knifed cheese wedges.

Then I forget to take it back out of the pack after we got back from that exercise (didn't really have anywhere to put it, what with the barracks kitchen still being off-limits thanks to rampant idiocy), and the cheese got extremely interesting after a few days when I found it again.


EDIT: Oh, here's something for Naxza... Saw a comment recently that "umeboshi is as Japanese as brown cheese is Norwegian". I actually happened to grow up with umeboshi paste, and was wondering if you got to experience the stuff while over there.

Naxza

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142465 on: February 11, 2019, 04:45:21 am »

-snip-
bitch tell me you didn't just say that espresso is on a lower rung of the cuisine ladder than American gritcoffee.

i was too lazy to use the french press every day, but I would grind up my beans every morning for the drip coffee maker, that folgers shit is canned ass

but at least it's not instant coffee, eh?

I'll concede that the generic stuff blows and our coffee shops have a sick fascination with over-acidic Collectivo Coffee (at least, my corner of the world did), and I'll agree that flat whites are generally delightful, but given the chance to make just coffee or an espresso, I'll have to say 'espressno,' gimme a mug of something that isn't going to give me that bloaty milk feeling, taste like motor oil, or happen to be espresso but with more water so it's kind of like normal coffee.

Fakeedit: and don't get me STARTED about our beer- firstly, fuck InBev and their chokehold on our export of shitty beers to the world. Get the local shit. Real, real, real good shit, our microbrew culture is surging, and Wisconsin is up there throwing punches with the best. You get out to the Milwaukee area, you better go get to Brookfield and get you something from Raised Grain Brewery to get your artisanal taste met, and then some New Glarus as the best cream ale to just have around.  Leinenkugels and Point beer are nothing to write home about and won't break the budget, but they're a lot nicer to just pull out of the fridge than The Tasteless Ones.

Umeboshi- that's the pickled plums, right? Sometimes slapped on top of rice or inside an onigiri? I was not partial to it. Powerful flavor. I prefer a savoury flavor or vegetables- Oh, I could go for an okonomiyaki right about now.
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142466 on: February 11, 2019, 04:59:26 am »

@ Naxza == Triggered

1) Most americans do not like to cook.   [2][3][4]  (Really, this is VERY well researched. Americans are unwilling or unable to cook, due to a lack of desire, and a lack of sufficient time to plan and prepare a meal. It's cultural. Deal with it.)

2) Due to the above, many americans subsist on either fast food, or prepackaged products.  The comprehension of what food "is", and how flavors interact with each other, is an essential part of cooking as an activity, which again, has been exhaustively shown to be not an appreciated activity by the general american public.  This is why people add epic fucktonnes of cheese to their au gratin, when what they really need to add is a protein source and some salt, along with a little starch to gel the sauce, and enhance the flavor of the cheese that is already present.

3) Glad you agree. Sadly, at least here in flyoverland USA, when you mention "Cheese", the usual things people think of are "Kraft Singles" (which again, ARE NOT CHEESE), and "Cheddar."  The number of times I have seen people try to make home-made pizza with shredded cheddar is astounding; Really, the people here (at least) have no fucking clue how to use cheese, or why you should use different kinds of cheese for different kinds of foods.

4)  While Wisconsin is a part of the USA, not all Americans are from Wisconsin.  In fact, most americans are not from Wisconsin.  As such, your anectdote does not really help with the general statement that americans dont understand cheese.  People in Wisconsin understand cheese; they have a culture for it.  The rest of the US?  Not so much.


I actually really enjoy cooking, and of my own volition, learned how to use different flavors, including cheese.  I am an outlier.  -- As demonstrated by the multitudinous studies that demonstrate that. 

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Naxza

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142467 on: February 11, 2019, 05:06:38 am »

As an outlier, your circumstantial anecdote doesn't weigh for much, but glad you stepped on most of our population to reinforce your sense of self-worth!

Whose au gratin hurt you so bad, anyways?
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142468 on: February 11, 2019, 05:07:40 am »

I used to be pretty big on Stone, but they've gone international now with a brewing and distribution center in Berlin, and the founder-CEO stepped down during a great big kablooie of major breweries gobbling up the west coast craft scene. Lagunitas... why? Why sell out to Heineken?

...right, anyways...

Yeah, umeboshi is the pickled plums. We'd use the paste as an ultra-tangy addition to homemade rice rolls and give things a little kick. It's also surprisingly functional with corn on the cob, the tang and sweetness contrasting each other... Although, that's probably several different forms of blasphemy and not something I should admit openly.

Tack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142469 on: February 11, 2019, 05:15:53 am »

Well, I put shredded cheddar on pizza and love it, so hey. I also have ready access to the other cheeses and use them, but cheddar is about the sharpest thing I can put on pizza without it burning. I'll also say that I've had friends move to America and say that it's incredibly difficult to cook there. Apartments with full kitchens are incredibly rare, and somehow all food has some level of preservative just suffused throughout it at all times.

Also as an Aussie, our national caffeine seems to be the Cappuccino.. which is weirdly dainty for such a place which prizes itself on ruggedness. But yeah, absolutely it's a flat white with chocolate on.
... We probably can't act like we're better for eating sugar instead of HFCS when our climate doesn't support corn.
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