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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 5974214 times)

Greiger

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147825 on: October 15, 2019, 03:16:09 pm »

I am glad that my half asleep late night(morning?) sitting on the toilet thoughts have inspired the thread to continue well into the afternoon.  I'm so proud of bay12.  :D
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pisskop

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147826 on: October 15, 2019, 10:31:26 pm »

Toilets inspire the highest forms of art, philosophy, and science.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147827 on: October 15, 2019, 11:32:04 pm »

For all you degenerate Chuck Tingle fans, the man himself is apparently doing an AMA on Reddit. I mean, it might be over by now, but if you're lucky he might still be going.
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King Zultan

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147828 on: Today at 01:35:01 am »

Santa fuels the reindeer up with the elderly elves before leaving the north pole, and just makes occasional stops to pick up naughty kids.  Now of course if he just had the deer eat the kid on the rooftop the kid would likely expire before their soul was captured, and make all kinds of horrible noise aside.  So he just steals them from their bed still sleeping, and uses the same magic he uses to fit himself down chimneys or through mail slots, to just magic a kid down whatever reindeer's throat needs the most juice.  Kid does not wake up until they are already in the deer's gut, and no-one is the wiser in the building.

I mean really it's the only way presents appearing under the tree every Christmas makes any sense at all.

P.S. Oh and that 'reindeer food' your parents may have had you spread around your yard?  Your parents know you were naughty that year, so they bought some low quality bits of kid from some other family.  Your parents are hoping the reindeer will just eat all that instead and be too full to eat you once santa snatched you, leaving no choice but to put you back.  That's why they are so happy to see all the reindeer poop in the front yard when usually they are angry when the neighbor dog even does a little piddle.  It means it worked.
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147829 on: Today at 01:47:30 am »

-snip before the quote pyramids break-
Put him in a parabolically reflective cone of shame. Problem solved. No light paths can reach the driver, and it increases the efficiency of the light source as well.

While that might work in theory (although you'd probably want a neck brace as well, given how long those reins are), recall that this is a community of sweatshop workers so entrenched in their North Korea-esque program of manual labor and community displays of patriotism that they ran their aspiring dentist out of town on a rail, and their idea of quality control is apparently to just sweep their sapient production errors under the rug until someone smuggles them to the Island of Misfit Toys without Santa's knowledge and pretend like they didn't somehow make a doll with depression.

What are the odds that, if there was an elf with an interest in optics sufficient to design such a reflector, he or she was not immediately burned at the stake for being a witch?

What makes you think they didn't?  I propose that this has already transpired-- There is a decided lack of an extinction level event size crater from Santa impacting the ground while traveling a significant fraction of the speed of light on his toy run, while carrying enough mass to double as a kinetic impactor-- so either Rudolph's nose does not in fact glow (contrary to the popular song), or the reflector was installed, and the elf responsible was appropriately reported to the authorities and euthanized.

QED.
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Trekkin

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147830 on: Today at 02:40:39 am »

-snip before the quote pyramids break-
Put him in a parabolically reflective cone of shame. Problem solved. No light paths can reach the driver, and it increases the efficiency of the light source as well.

While that might work in theory (although you'd probably want a neck brace as well, given how long those reins are), recall that this is a community of sweatshop workers so entrenched in their North Korea-esque program of manual labor and community displays of patriotism that they ran their aspiring dentist out of town on a rail, and their idea of quality control is apparently to just sweep their sapient production errors under the rug until someone smuggles them to the Island of Misfit Toys without Santa's knowledge and pretend like they didn't somehow make a doll with depression.

What are the odds that, if there was an elf with an interest in optics sufficient to design such a reflector, he or she was not immediately burned at the stake for being a witch?

What makes you think they didn't?  I propose that this has already transpired-- There is a decided lack of an extinction level event size crater from Santa impacting the ground while traveling a significant fraction of the speed of light on his toy run, while carrying enough mass to double as a kinetic impactor-- so either Rudolph's nose does not in fact glow (contrary to the popular song), or the reflector was installed, and the elf responsible was appropriately reported to the authorities and euthanized.

QED.

Not to get nitpicky, but this is a false dichotomy. There are other possibilities than the two you've outlined here, one of which I mentioned in my original post: we both agree that Santa's velocity would necessarily exceed Earth's escape velocity, so it's entirely possible that Santa simply left the atmosphere, at which point the odds of him hitting anything are minimal. That is also consistent with the lack of a crater. You can also treat Santa as a meteor and use any of a number of online calculators to posit impact parameters even at relativistic speeds that, if they occurred over water, would produce significant waves but not a crater of exceptional size.

Or, if you like your Christmas apologetics cut with fringe Christian apologetics, perhaps he impacted at Chicxulub while delivering presents to the antediluvian children and their non-avian dinosaur friends, thereby opening the fountains of the deep and beginning the general deluge.

This is of course complete nonsense, but it does let us tell children that Santa is dead and he took the dinosaurs and unicorns with him, so it's not utterly without value.
« Last Edit: Today at 02:42:40 am by Trekkin »
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147831 on: Today at 04:12:02 am »

LOLOL.

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Arx

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147832 on: Today at 04:24:24 am »

If we accept at face value that children all receive their presents simultaneously at midnight, you could probably construct an argument that since Santa already violates causality he may at some future point be going to impact at Chicxulub and cause the mass extinction.

But that would be getting into the territory of discussing absurdities--
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pisskop

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #147833 on: Today at 04:38:20 am »

For all you degenerate Chuck Tingle fans, the man himself is apparently doing an AMA on Reddit. I mean, it might be over by now, but if you're lucky he might still be going.
Pounded in the butt by reddit sensibilities.
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drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
I track my running!
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