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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 5724190 times)

Castlecliff

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142455 on: February 11, 2019, 02:15:33 am »

The truth is all cheese is better at room temperature. Between 19c and 26c is my preference.
Yeah they're the tiny onions. Subtle flavor. Cunts to peel and expensive.

I imagine biscuits. Meat meal flour water, maybe minced fruits baked then dried.
As a dm i usually only made the players need foods in obvious situations. Desert, cells, mountain tops, at sea. Other than that its another thing that I feel detracts from the game play and banter.
Most partys have a food creator or a catcher. Though thinking about it maybe i should have made the party hunt at low levels and make wolves attack mid hunt or something.
Yes i hope to get a new party one day
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142456 on: February 11, 2019, 02:30:03 am »

Yeah mechanically we just have "7 rations" or whatever in our inventory.  But when we come across, say, a strange child in a creepy fishy village?  And want to offer some food?  Suddenly it makes me wonder "what ARE these hard rations?"

And after thinking about it I decided that my paladin would have a lot of jerky, being of Olympic strength.  But also a sizeable stock of cheese and what we call "crackers", which is what I offered the poor girl.

Though in an amusing twist, I actually acquired an Urn of Liquids (my name for it) in exchange for my Trident of Fish Command.  They can command the fish to flow into their nets, and in return we can summon an abundance of bland, protein-rich gruel.  Or several gallons of water, or about a quart of lantern oil, every day.

It sounds unappetizing, but the other two party members are wizards with Prestidigitation, so the gruel tastes however we want.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142457 on: February 11, 2019, 02:52:12 am »

Mmmmm lamp oil....
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MrRoboto75

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142458 on: February 11, 2019, 02:54:14 am »

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Castlecliff

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142459 on: February 11, 2019, 02:58:33 am »

Im having a baby
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142460 on: February 11, 2019, 02:59:49 am »

"Why do you have to go to work?"
"For money?"
"So you... so you can get sweets?"
"....yes."
so I can get laptops
so I can go to work
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Reelya

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142461 on: February 11, 2019, 03:07:16 am »

Pre-sliced pieces of cheese suck and no longer taste like cheese
Maybe if you go to some hell-store where cheese is sliced with rusty blades weeks in advance, and stored in the open air directly over a dumpster...

For the most part, pre-sliced tastes fine. Maybe not quite as good as something fresh off the block, but it's certainly more convenient.

Probably because Americans are more addicted to the calorie ingestion than the taste so they don't care anymore. Gotta get those calories in fast. We also have to remember than Anglo people (Americans, UK, Australians) eat plastic-wrapped processed "cheese" slices. The type of cheese that we're talking about being pre-sliced isn't good cheese. Often it's not even named anything. Here the cheap stuff is just called "Tasty Cheese".
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 03:09:14 am by Reelya »
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142462 on: February 11, 2019, 03:09:21 am »

Yeah that's in line with a lot of my cisnormal peers and some of my queer ones.
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Castlecliff

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142463 on: February 11, 2019, 03:10:05 am »

How dare you  ;D

Well that's enough talk tonight. I have important business to attend to.
Can't you see. Im an important fellow
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 03:17:48 am by Castlecliff »
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142464 on: February 11, 2019, 03:17:42 am »

...

I happen to like actual cheese, thank you.  Some nice soft muenster on some captains wafers... mmmmm...

"American cheese" is not actually cheese.  No.  Really, it's not cheese.  It's mostly vegetable oil, water, salt and food coloring.  Other than the salt, none of those should actually be found in a quality cheese. (not as an added ingredient anyway.) 

I can see how pre-slicing would ruin the flavor profiles of some of the more pungent cheeses, like aged Swiss, Parmesan, and pals. (once exposed to air, many of the compounds that comprise the flavor profile evaporate. Cheeses that have rinds would all suffer.)


Most americans do not cook these days, so I would not expect most americans to understand the subtlties of different cheeses, their textures, melting profiles, and flavor profiles-- or how to use them constructively to enhance a dish. (or realize that one does not need to add a 5lb block of cheddar to their au gratin, because after a certain point, you can't increase the cheese flavor by adding more cheese, due to cheese being a subtle and complex flavor.)
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overseer05-15

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adult food like, I presume, steak and potatoes and tax forms,

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Naxza

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142466 on: February 11, 2019, 04:23:04 am »

You, uh, wanna back up that statement that Americans don't cook? Granted, in poor communities, it may be hard to get fresh foods for cooking because of, what are they called, food oases? One supermarket that's accessible safely/in traveling distance/affordably, but that's indicative of a greater problem relating obesity and poverty.

Also, why have we decided that Americans don't think about flavor? Hell, isn't the UK the land of hopelessly boiled vegetables and meat pies? The height of flavor in New Zealand is a flat white, and that's just a cup of what's more milk than coffee.

Yes, 'American' cheese is an affront to cheese everywhere. Calling it dairy byproduct is like calling shit 'food afterproduct' and marketing it as edible. If we didn't have half-decent cheese, we wouldn't have famous Chicago-style deep dish pizzas, or pretty much any of Wisconsin, whose football fans wear giant foam cheese wedges on their heads. Or curds so fresh they squeak as you chew them.... Hnnnnnghh, I miss it. Bread 'em and deep fry them for a truly exquisite taste- sorry, maybe that's not 'delicate' enough for your evolved tongues. More for us, then.

Would be better to relate American cheese to the need to cut costs and turn a profit, 'cuz we sure don't go clamoring for another mouthful of the stuff, but you're gonna want some kind of cheese if you're making two dozen burgers for a cookout or wanna shave a few cents off every patty being served under yon golden arches.

And you know what? Back home, I could buy a one-pound block of cheese for five bucks, and it'd be the farm fresh stuff. Use that block, a few beers, and a whole host of sausages and vegetables, and baby, you've got a beer cheese chowder on your hands and it's absolutely divine. 'Hearty' is no subtle flavor, but hearty's what you're gonna want when it's twenty below (in Fahrenheit, ya civilized bastards) and can't pack down, I dunno, frigging lutefisk or a handle of vodka to get through the cold night.

I will have none of this disparaging of my people and its cuisine- we've got issue enough, but exemplifying the lowest common denominator of a subsection of our food and then calling out the whole country by that standard is awfully insincere and undermines much of what we make well. It's a shitty way of putting down a subsection of people, something we need no more of ourselves.

/triggered
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142467 on: February 11, 2019, 04:27:33 am »

-snip-
bitch tell me you didn't just say that espresso is on a lower rung of the cuisine ladder than American gritcoffee.
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Arx

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142468 on: February 11, 2019, 04:29:16 am »

Espresso, drip, and press coffee (hot or cold) all have their own individual strengths and weaknesses, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. It's a matter of personal preference, the blend, and how it's served.
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #142469 on: February 11, 2019, 04:34:33 am »

Yeah, it's just the cheese that isn't cheese, the beer that isn't beer, and gods-fucking candied yams which aren't even yams and for fuck's sake why are you taking a perfectly tasty and healthy tuber and mixing it with marshmallows.

Anyways, most Norwegian cheese is actually pretty amazingly dull and dreadful. We have "white cheese" which is unassuming and nonhostile, and then there's "yellow cheese" which is exactly the same thing and also still pretty much the same color.

Then there's brown cheese, which dares to be different and is also technically not cheese in the traditional sense. Somewhat difficult to slice without a slicer, to boot.


As for the slicer vs knife argument, well yes... You could use a kitchen knife to shave your chin, but it's generally agreed that a razor is easier to use and gives a more even shave. A cheese slicer functions in exactly the same way.

And I did actually go around with a loaf of bread and giant block of cheapo cheese in my backpack for a few days in the army, ripping off bread chunks and accompanying with knifed cheese wedges.

Then I forget to take it back out of the pack after we got back from that exercise (didn't really have anywhere to put it, what with the barracks kitchen still being off-limits thanks to rampant idiocy), and the cheese got extremely interesting after a few days when I found it again.


EDIT: Oh, here's something for Naxza... Saw a comment recently that "umeboshi is as Japanese as brown cheese is Norwegian". I actually happened to grow up with umeboshi paste, and was wondering if you got to experience the stuff while over there.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 04:36:23 am by Kagus »
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