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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 5985353 times)

Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146130 on: July 27, 2019, 06:31:50 pm »

Nobody here would ever kink shame, or look down on others for their preferences.

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wierd

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« Last Edit: July 27, 2019, 06:43:45 pm by wierd »
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146132 on: July 27, 2019, 06:44:15 pm »

Nobody here would ever kink shame, or look down on others for their preferences.

Here you go.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Grim Portent

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146133 on: July 27, 2019, 07:24:17 pm »

the whole jesus thing, as kink...

You know they make jackhammer jesus dildos, and baby jesus butt plugs, right?

Maybe I shouldnt have said that.

Religious icon sex toys: Putting the Holy in your holes.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146134 on: July 27, 2019, 09:58:59 pm »

Nobody here would ever kink shame, or look down on others for their preferences.

dun, i'm just saying as a friend, but a nun lubing up their hands may not be the point you're wanting to communicate here
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Iduno

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146135 on: July 28, 2019, 12:39:38 am »

Ya'll need Jesus.

To complete the orgy?
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Iduno

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146136 on: July 28, 2019, 12:41:43 am »

Nobody here would ever kink shame, or look down on others for their preferences.

dun, i'm just saying as a friend, but a nun lubing up their hands may not be the point you're wanting to communicate here

She doesn't have a ruler, so it's fine.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146137 on: July 28, 2019, 06:55:52 am »

This last page has me loudly laughing in a public restroom.  You sick hilarious bastards.
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146138 on: July 28, 2019, 06:58:37 am »

Personally I wouldn't like to be the man to enter a restroom only to find it occupied by a muscle-strapped fellow cackling insanely in front of the mirror.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146139 on: July 28, 2019, 08:44:44 am »

Personally I wouldn't like to be the man to enter a restroom.
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scriver

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146140 on: July 28, 2019, 09:07:01 am »

Personally I wouldn't like to be
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146141 on: July 28, 2019, 09:15:30 am »

Personally I wouldn't like to be the man to enter a restroom.
Proof that Yoink lacks an anus
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146142 on: July 28, 2019, 09:20:30 am »

Personally I wouldn't like to be the man to enter a restroom.
Proof that Yoink lacks an anus

Don't be ridiculous. He just has an anal catheter installed. 
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smjjames

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146143 on: July 28, 2019, 10:25:22 am »

Lol you guys XD
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #146144 on: July 28, 2019, 12:05:54 pm »

So, I'm eating dinner right now. It's something a bit different, I thought I'd try something new.

I've noticed this one product in the grocery stores multiple times, and while I've always had a certain morbid curiosity about it, I never before opted to actually give it a go... However, a while back (before I'd left for my trip to Poland), I was apparently either particularly adventurous or drunk or some combination of the two, and I picked it up to try it out at some point. Since it's currently Sunday and I don't *really* have any dinner makings left over since I made sure to empty my fridge before leaving the country, I'm now eating said mysterious food article.

It's the contents of a rather flashy can that can be found in any Norwegian grocery store, with its colorful and slightly old-timey graphics and its larger-than-standard size... A can of what boastfully markets itself as "Spaghetti a la Capri".


Now, I know what you're thinking... You're probably thinking [*vomiting noises*], and I can understand that, but I've had the occasional canned meal that wasn't entirely awful after spicing it up a bit. So, after opening the can and taking my first tentative taste of the insides, I immediately reached for the secret ingredient in making a mediocre dish turn into something actually edible: Pepper.

I have a glass spice jar of cayenne powder that I use religiously in a number of dishes, and its time had obviously come once again to drown out the somewhat-too-strong notes of misery and existential depression that were the factory settings for the sauce interred within the tin sarcophagus... However, there was a problem. Some moisture had gotten into the cayenne jar. I did not realize this until after I'd started attempting to shake it out into the pot.

Shake 1: Nothing.

Shake 2: Nothing.

Shake 3: Nothing.

Shake 4: Nothing left.


I gazed upon my works; and saw that it was goofed. The mountainous peaks of Capri had weathered an unseasonal red blizzard, and were now covered in a blanket of tranquil chili powder. Silence fell upon the spaghettiscape.

"Aw well, fuck it" I said, and started mixing everything together.


The flavor is now mostly just cayenne, but that's honestly fine... It's a marked improvement upon the original recipe; which had attempted nuance and succeeded only at nnnghuh. But the reason I am currently struggling, and preferring to procrastinate by writing about the whole experience instead of actually eating, is in fact the texture.

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm already something of a blasphemer in that I like my pasta a little bit al gommo. I know, I know... My preferences are incorrect and I will burn for them in the afterlife. I've come to terms with this fact.

But this can contained pasta that had already been cooked to completion, and then stuffed into a can of wet tomato sauce for... I'm not sure I want to know how long. As such, the spaghetti has attained a consistency not entirely dissimilar to Granny's Homestyle Vaginal Secretions™.


The cayenne has done all it cayann. At this point, my only allies going forward are alcohol and tortilla chips. Viva la lotta gloriosa!
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