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Author Topic: Should I just stop talking to this girl?  (Read 9144 times)

x2yzh9

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Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« on: October 26, 2010, 10:08:36 pm »

Okay, so, today this girl I know-Lauren, just took a sudden dis-interest in talking to me. I really, really like her, but hell, she and I talked on the phone on Sunday and Monday for quite a bit, and she and I hang out after school at the library usually(She said we could.). Whenever I tried to start up a conversation with her today she just sort of blew it off. Is she just on her period or something?

On another note, I need an opinion, preferably from one of the female forum residents. Do girls find it awkward for guys to ask them if they want to hang out at their house or offer to drop them off at their house if they don't have a ride coming?
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nbonaparte

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2010, 10:25:42 pm »

Wait a day. people get in bad moods occasionally.
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Vector

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2010, 10:26:17 pm »

Is she just on her period or something?

Next time you're talking to a girl a lot, guess "she's tired of your company" over "she's bleeding everywhere like the unreliable woman-thing she is."


On another note, I need an opinion, preferably from one of the female forum residents.

*Checks box*


Do girls find it awkward for guys to ask them if they want to hang out at their house or offer to drop them off at their house if they don't have a ride coming?

Are you creepy?  Do you spend a lot of time together?  Would you two end up being alone?  In your room, possibly?  Have you displayed possible romantic interest in her she doesn't reciprocate?  Did you look oddly eager?  Were you licking your lips?  Were you looking her in the eyes?  If you looked her in the eyes, did you do it too long?

It's not about gender, it's about unreciprocated sexual interest.  If you're acting anything more than friendly and she isn't interested (you are, by the way, though I don't know about how she feels), then it causes an awkward situation--less so if your parents are around.  There's a number of factors.
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Argembarger

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2010, 11:50:58 pm »

Vector speaks wise wisdom. Heed the wisdom.

I will also attempt to dispense a tiny capsule of wisdom.

Based on my experience, you should definitely relax as much as you can, give her plenty of space, remember that she is also a person just like you with her own private life and thoughts and feelings and all the other advantages and disadvantages with being a human being. Try to imagine yourself in her shoes when you deal with her, and if you think you come off as creepy, then you probably do.

Just treat her like any other of your friends, and don't worry about getting "trapped in the friend zone" or anything like that. That's absolutely nothing compared to possibly getting shunned and avoided by her for being too overbearing (I went down that road once in 10th grade, it's really awful and I felt like crap for weeks)

I suppose a fun rule of thumb would be, if you're pondering the implications of the creepiness/awkwardness of asking her to hang out at your house, then you're not relaxed enough to not seem creepy/awkward. Also, having your parents home is a plus.

If it feels too awkward to ask her to hang out at one of your houses, better just stick to neutral territory.
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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2010, 12:36:39 am »

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Is she just on her period or something?

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Okay, so, today this girl I know-Lauren, just took a sudden dis-interest in talking to me. Is she just on her period or something?

mainiac

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2010, 03:38:31 am »

On another note, I need an opinion, preferably from one of the female forum residents. Do girls find it awkward for guys to ask them if they want to hang out at their house or offer to drop them off at their house if they don't have a ride coming?

A good question to ask yourself before trying this approach is "would I still want to be friends with her if I didn't want to hook up with her."  If the answer is yes, then you can use this approach.  If the answer is no then the best case scenario is she shoots you down.  The worst case scenario is that you spend years of your life in the friend zone with a girl whom in retrospect you really didn't have too much in common with.
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Muz

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2010, 07:49:14 am »

Is she just on her period or something?

Next time you're talking to a girl a lot, guess "she's tired of your company" over "she's bleeding everywhere like the unreliable woman-thing she is."

It's not all implausible. I dated a girl for 4 years. A week before her period and during her period, she'd be reaaaaallly cranky and hate me for no reason. And then apologize profusely for her behavior later on. I broke up with her eventually, because I can't stand to be around a girl who's a complete bitch for two weeks a month.


And yeah, you could give her some space. Some girls really like guys who pay attention to them, some find it creepy, some get suffocated by it. There's no right answer without more info.

Some girls like to act uninterested to try to see if you're going to still chase after them. It's probably something they read from some retarded teen magazine. Or she could just be busy at that time, and not in the mood to deal with you. Don't overthink it, just calm down, step back, and take a look at what it would look like if you were her.
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Omegastick

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2010, 08:21:49 am »

From my (admittedly rather short lived) experiences with women I reckon that it would be a good idea to back off for a day or two to avoid suffocating her and then get back into it (pun not intended).
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Ephemeriis

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2010, 08:25:17 am »

Okay, so, today this girl I know-Lauren, just took a sudden dis-interest in talking to me. I really, really like her, but hell, she and I talked on the phone on Sunday and Monday for quite a bit, and she and I hang out after school at the library usually(She said we could.).

Frankly, you're coming across as kind of creepy in your post.

Quote
Whenever I tried to start up a conversation with her today she just sort of blew it off. Is she just on her period or something?

It's certainly possible...  But it's also possible that she just had a bad day, or is worried about something, or doesn't feel like talking, or is feeling under the weather, or decided she doesn't like you, or whatever...

Again, it's vaguely creepy that the first place you go is "Is she just on her period or something?"  Seems kind of sexist/dismissive to me.  Maybe it was intended as a joke?  Didn't read as funny on my screen.

Quote
On another note, I need an opinion, preferably from one of the female forum residents. Do girls find it awkward for guys to ask them if they want to hang out at their house or offer to drop them off at their house if they don't have a ride coming?

Again, you're coming across as a little creepy.

The thing is, women aren't some strange "other species" or something - they're human beings.  Maybe one person finds it awkward to be asked if they want to hang out at their house...  Maybe somebody else doesn't...

Sure, there's the added element of sexual tension when you've got a guy and a girl hanging out together...  But I guess that's what my complaint is with this whole post.  You aren't coming across as "my friend suddenly stopped talking to me and I'm worried something is wrong" but rather "this hot chick I want to bang stopped talking to me and I'm worried I won't get in her pants."  Entirely possible I'm mis-reading things...  But that's how it's coming across over here.  And it's entirely possible that's how it's coming across to her.
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Omegastick

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2010, 08:29:38 am »

If I remember correctly from a picture in the pictures thread then he looks about fourteen years old and so hopefully isn't trying to get into any girls pants!
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Vector

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2010, 09:19:25 am »

It's not all implausible. I dated a girl for 4 years. A week before her period and during her period, she'd be reaaaaallly cranky and hate me for no reason. And then apologize profusely for her behavior later on. I broke up with her eventually, because I can't stand to be around a girl who's a complete bitch for two weeks a month.

It is possible.

Most of my point, however, is that the first thing women go to when a random man is acting odd is not, in fact "is their penis bothering them today" (even though I'm sure some men have some real problems with that), so my hope would be that he'd learn to accord this girl a bit more respect until proven incorrect.
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Moogie

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2010, 10:14:37 am »

Whilst our monthly cycle can cause a lot of overly hormonal behaviour, that's not the first conclusion I'd jump to when you notice something different about someone, especially if you've known them for >1 month and have not noticed anything like this before. You shouldn't be feeling pissy at her for 'shunning' you; rather, you should feel concern for her wellbeing. Your reaction worries me, to be honest. Is it only important to you that she remains interested in you?

But to entertain the possibility of the period conclusion: I can only really speak for myself here, but even on my worst days, I'm just in a whole lot of pain and discomfort and don't want to deal with anybody for a day or two. After that, everything goes back to normal. If you're so fragile that 1-2 days out of the month scares you badly enough to post threads about it in Life Advice forums, perhaps you're better off giving yourself some time to mature a bit and realise it is not just an insensitive punchline to a passive-aggressive joke, it's an everyday annoyance of Real Life that, if you ever end up living with a woman, you'll have to learn to accept one way or another. At least you don't have to experience it like we do!
« Last Edit: October 27, 2010, 10:17:24 am by Moogie »
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Virex

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2010, 10:24:00 am »

I think it's more something to reassure himself by placing the cause at nature. First other thing that would come to my mind if this happened is that I did something so bone-headed that she doesn't want to see me ever again, so I'd be praying that it was her period.
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smigenboger

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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2010, 10:35:52 am »

Lol @ thread

I never really had to chase any of my relationships. They just happened as I got to know people. Oddly enough, I find instead of chasing relationships, I tend to chase friendships, which are about as successful as all these dating attempt threads if the friendship just isn't going to happen.

I'd say relax, and let a girl be interested in you for once.

PS: You're around fourteen? Why are you in a rush for a relationship? You may as well get used to having girls as friends for a few years.
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Re: Should I just stop talking to this girl?
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2010, 10:36:44 am »

If I remember correctly from a picture in the pictures thread then he looks about fourteen years old and so hopefully isn't trying to get into any girls pants!
If he's 14 years old then those pants are likely the only thing on his mind.

1/1 for bad gender jokes made. The thread equalizes.

And I would like to see some replies by x2yzh9 before we go too far. There is plenty of evidence that we think his post was a bit odd and pointed out the issues. No need for five pages of "You sexist pig!" before he clears up any misconceptions or unintended messages.
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