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Author Topic: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever  (Read 50393 times)

madmaxxam

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #75 on: November 01, 2010, 08:36:08 am »

My first forgotten beast comes in through the underground caverns, then disappears off the map cause the cavern is sealed.  It's a nasty thing that breathes some toxic goo and such.  A couple years later game time I finally open the cavern, thinking maybe it's gone, but of course it comes running in to my military waiting by the door.  Then I look, and realize that almost every single part of it is red in the wound menu.  It lasts only a few rounds with my dwarfs, practically drowns itself in it's own goo, and does 0 damage to my dwarves. 

Apparently a bunch of elite bat people died fighting it when I later looked at the unit menu. 
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NewSheoth

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #76 on: November 01, 2010, 09:50:30 am »

Does adventurer mode count? If so, then it would be my first encounter with a giant eagle. My adventurer just hacked off its left wing and cleaved it in two. End of battle.
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mal7690

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #77 on: November 01, 2010, 10:09:27 am »

[REAL]
Siege:
Oh gods gobbies!
pull lever 3c, 4c, and 7d
...
...
*now from gobby point of view*
Yaaarggghh!!! KILL!! ... wait, a cat? what's that ticking?
*WHOOOSH!*
/drown
siege end
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WrathNail

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #78 on: November 01, 2010, 10:41:08 am »

Most FBs that aren't outright invulnerable tend to end up like this.

Also, a classic one: Bronze collossus appears. Steps into a cage trap. The End.

Or : Bronze collossus appears. Visiting adventurer throws fluffy wamblers. The end.

Actually, that is more of a Crowning Moment Of Awesome on the part of the adventurer. Or the wambler.
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Zhulik

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #79 on: November 01, 2010, 03:04:01 pm »

So I was dealing with a FB in my caverns that's been down there for a while (namely tunneling over it and punching holes in the ceiling to use as target practice for my marksdwarves), when I got a message that a Giantess of some description has arrived. I looked at it milling about at the map edge for about twenty seconds, but as it wasn't going anywhere I just sort of let it be and went back to overseeing the FB target practice project and later to try and figure out why my marksdorfs were just standing there(out of bolts apparently).

Then I get a message that Ral Idolfikod(whatever), Speardorf has become a Spearmaster. I zoom over to him and find him by the giantess at the end of a screen-long trail of blood. I open the reports with HASTY and apparently the giantess charged the lone speardorf who I can only assume was out to refill his waterskin or something. Unfazed, the hero dorf dodged it, stabbed BOTH the giantess's eyes out with his next two blows and then proceeded to stab the SHIT out of her with his +bronze spear+ for a dozen more pages as the poor thing was trying to crawl back to the map edge away from the devil dorf.

The anticlimax is in that he(and a third of the fort) died from foot rot induced by invisible fb contaminants a season later.
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jei

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #80 on: November 01, 2010, 03:27:21 pm »

FB enters. One lone crossbowman decides to face it, armed with some bone bolts. First bolt hits FB and bruises it's brain. End of FB.

But I don't mind anticlimatic. I've had tons where FB comes in, all it's appendages are hacked off and it still proceeds to hump everyone to death, including all doors, chairs and tables.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2010, 03:32:08 pm by jei »
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Valdus

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #81 on: November 01, 2010, 03:34:56 pm »

Two come to mind right away.

1. In a 2 year old fort I had a minotaur arrive.  I've never fought one before and my first squad of 3 soldiers had only just been formed with bronze armour and steel weapons.  I locked my front gates and hid inside until I had a second squad of 3 soldier, also in bronze with steel weapons.  The gates were opened, the soldiers stationed just outside, the minotaur charged... and a human caravan arrives.  A lone human spearman runs towards the minotaur and intercepts it before it gets to my fort, stabs it in the heart with his spear in the first swing, then walks back to the caravan as if nothing happened.

2. My very first forgotten beast went sort of like the first battle above.  I spent a few minutes with my gates closed prepping for a horrific clash then sent all my soldiers (including some new recruits) down to fight.  It was an iguana-type beast.  It charged my dwarves... but before it even got close a marksdwarf fired an iron bolt and blew its brain apart.  One shot, one kill.
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Lord Dakoth

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #82 on: November 01, 2010, 05:00:03 pm »

But I don't mind anticlimatic. I've had tons where FB comes in, all it's appendages are hacked off and it still proceeds to hump everyone to death, including all doors, chairs and tables.

The mental image resulting from this is hillarious, even if terrifying.
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Nyxalinth

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #83 on: November 01, 2010, 07:13:52 pm »

I have another.

Dragon shows up. I say 'Oh teh noes, I don't even have military yet!' *orders everyone inside*

*Dragons gets itself caught in a cage trap, where it was the centerpiece of my meeting area from then on*

the end.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #84 on: November 01, 2010, 07:49:19 pm »

By quoting all of that, you furthered the enthusiasm of pyramid building.
Please don't feed the trolls.
Pyramiding is fine by me (I think it looks cool), it's just yelling. Also, there are no trolls here methinks; we creep them out by discussing how to best harvest merperson bones and extract goblin brains.

Does adventurer mode count? If so, then it would be my first encounter with a giant eagle. My adventurer just hacked off its left wing and cleaved it in two. End of battle.
Adventure mode is fine, I think.
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MonkeyMeat

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #85 on: November 01, 2010, 07:55:28 pm »

I had half a fort wiped out by a single GCS, who later dodged into a volcano when my recruit migrant attacked him.

The recruit burned to death on his way back to the fort when he decided to attack a fire imp that had jumped out of the magma.
 :-\
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #86 on: November 01, 2010, 08:17:49 pm »

Oh, I just remembered: My dwarf adventurer was ambushed by a bronze colossus that killed several other megabeasts during worldgen.
I ran.
(Later, I took a magma swim.)
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Johnfalcon99977

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #87 on: November 01, 2010, 10:15:16 pm »

Oh, I just remembered: My dwarf adventurer was ambushed by a bronze colossus that killed several other megabeasts during worldgen.
I ran.
(Later, I took a magma swim.)

Why did you run? You could've gone down in history for killing that badass colossus.
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ungulateman

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #88 on: November 02, 2010, 12:01:49 am »

"Oh, crap, a giant olm coming up the cavern entrance."

*two mediocre military dwarves kill it*

"Oh, crap, a giant eagle."

*two mediocre military dwarves kill it*
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drvoke

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Re: Most Anticlimatic Battles Ever
« Reply #89 on: November 02, 2010, 12:48:30 am »

My first ever titan, this was a loooong time ago.  One of the first 0.31.x releases.

I was spoiling for a fight, expecting injured dwarfs, epic tantrum spiral, etc...  I did not have any real military, my entire defense was cage traps, and I didn't know you could capture Titans in cage traps at this point, so I drafted basically half my fort's population into the military, grabbing whatever armor and weapons I had on hand.  Turns out, that was overkill.

The combat report was something like this:
Urist McAxedwarf strikes the titan in the head with his axe and the severed part is sent flying in an arc!

The end.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2010, 12:51:15 am by drvoke »
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