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[AntiAntiMatter]

I was abducting enemies with my dropship so I could sell them and wasn't paying attention as a rocket was nicely parked on my brain...

What?

Cortex Command.

[Tarran]

Albino Ape chased me through 3 or so levels of the underground and when I turned to fight it just wouldn't give in to my domination or melee attacks and pumbled me into the ground with 11 or so points of damage.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Caves of Qud.

[x2yzh9]

My teammate, who had never played Tonight is the Last Night on Earth, basically got us killed. We could only lose two survivors, and they both happened to be his. So when his first survivor dropped and he pulled a new one and put them on the board, next turn, the zombies just dove all over him.

Link to website?

[Mindmaker]

Failed to defuse the bomb, which was hanging on the side of the highest building in the city.
Getting there involved a roll of toilet paper.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Machinarium

[Yaddy1]

Egypt attacked while all my 6000 tanks were in Syria. Damn backstabbers.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Conflict - Middle East Political Simulator

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Was picking my brainbot up in a dropship, just as it was floating into my abduction beam a wayward missile hit the engine sending the dropship out of control and roasting my brainbot with it's engine. On the bright side it took a good few enemies with it when it crashed.

[Ioric Kittencuddler]

The Barber jumped off a wall and then teleported about five feet to pull me off the one I was scrambling up and slit my throat.

By all means I really should hate AC:B multiplayer....

[Tarran]

Crushed in one turn with 232 damage by a Salt Wurm.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Caves of Qud.

[Farce]

SS13, again.  Spoilered for hugeitude.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

>You are the Assistant.  (Crappy useless class with no responsibilities or access to anything good/dangerous/important/fun - good for newbie players)
>No one took the metal/glass!
>Fill up Assistant lathe
>"Welp. Captain spawned Spess Suit and Cloak"
>Captain: "Yup, I'm a traitor, and unless you prove yourself useful you die"
>Onehuman uploaded to AI
>Hide like coward
>Run through maintenance
>Dead detective behind his office
>COAT! /loot
>AI sees me; bolts doors
>"Well, fuck. Guess I'll just wait for inevitable death."
>Never comes
>Eh. Cut through wall into QM, hoping to find an ally
>Nope.avi
>Ratted out to AI/Captain
>They don't really give a fuck
>Explain the AI bolted me in when he saw me with a body
>"Can I just take this guy to cloning?"
>Whatever, he lets me out
>Cloning shut down by Captain
>Remember Captain promised a spot on the shuttle to the first to make a borg; worth a shot
>Find Robotics ID
>Tech storage access!
>Plan: I left spare metal and glass in the closet at Assistant Lathe, can get wire from Tool Storage
>No gloves
>Not experienced with hacking; think hitting the wrong wire will insta-kill me
>Go to QM's to try and get some
>At QM's
>Wait fuck that, he ratted on me last time
>Step out
>"Oh [Opposed to Captain], can you meet me in Toxins?"
>Might get spotted! Hide in emergency closet
>QM: "Janitor to QM, blood everywhere"
>Cap: "Waitwhat, I didn't kill anyone there"
>Stop announcing shit to the CONFIRMED DANGEROUS TRAITOR fuuuck
>QM remembers my name, announces it and says stun/brig he
>Fuck no goddammit
>QM: "You're no traitor Captain!" Captain: "Oh u"
>Fucking suck up fuuuck
>After pissing self and hiding for a while, trade out looted sunglasses for mesons, run back to lathe/tech storage
>BEGIN THE OPERATION
>Weld airlocks shut, hide from camera, DON'T cut so nothing is suspected, wall is blocking LoS
>FUCK I DIDN'T MAKE A MULTITOOL?
>Run out to lock into Assistant Storage
>Oh God is that the new engineer? Who the Captain wants to set up the singularity? And so is a target of interest, and possibly being watched on-camera?
>AI/Cap don't notice me, thank God
>Lathe up multitool, run through Tool Storage entry
>Nervous, hacking
>Shocked oh fu... oh wait, I'm not dead. /the more you know
>Lift bolts, cut AI control
>Get in, weld shut, planned to build wall but forget
>Oh God I play Assistant. What the fuck do all these boards do? Which one is the one I need? So confus. I guess it's the AI Upload?
>Okay. Grab metal, move to corner, sta-
>Hey, that tile just turned into space. Did the game glitch, o-
>BOOOOOOOM
>Somehow alive and mobile
>Promptly freeze/suffocate
>Butthurt to infinity

>Ask ghoastchat who did it
>Logged out, cannot karma
>What the fuck was even there to blow up? It was out in the hall, by an autolathe and... fuck, that's about it.

>Turns out AI was a traitor anyway


Post-round I was informed the Captain, still cloaked, told a scientist with a buncha bombs he was next to him and ready to talk.  I guess the scientist was a tremendous sucker, because he blew them while the Captain, knowing what was coming, of course, fucking left.  The Cap's ability to accidentally any and all threats is quite impressive... is what I would say, if I weren't so maaad.

[Tarran]

I found the ruins completely by accident north of the town between red rock and the town in one of the squares. Let's see what kind of loot I can get without dying.

EDIT:OH GOD FIRE ANTS WHAT THE HELL?!

Edit2: Oh god fireantdeathflame. Ouch, that hurt.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Caves of Qud.

[nenjin]

My teammate, who had never played Tonight is the Last Night on Earth, basically got us killed. We could only lose two survivors, and they both happened to be his. So when his first survivor dropped and he pulled a new one and put them on the board, next turn, the zombies just dove all over him.

Link to website?

Last Night on Earth

I won't say it's the highest quality board game out there. (Terrible photography for character art, BLECH.) But it's got some really fun game play and a semi-random layout every time.

[Greiger]

I was flying through outland on my way from the dark portal to Shattrath when one of my irl friends IMed me asking me to get a higher level that was camping his corpse off of him.

I was happy to oblige, I hate corpse campers, and it turns out the higher level punk was only lv 79. A piece of cake for my ICC/cata geared 84.  He sees me and books.  But I have higher level flying, so he can't get away from me.  I know my class is apperantly capable of attacking while flying via skill/exploit but I never bothered to learn how to do it.  But he is flying close to the ground anyway, so I don't think I need to.

I see a bit of wall sticking out of the ground and shift out of flight form and cast moonfire on him in the air expecting to land on the wall taking only moderate damage.

I overshot the wall and died from fall damage on the other side.  Showing the grace and skill of a 2-legged cow.

P.S. The lv 79 lived the moonfire.

(and I'm sure no-one wants to admit they know what game this is.)

[Murphy]

You should have used your haunting moo.
Also, why'd no-one want to admit knowing that game? Because you'll know it even if you never played it?

[Greiger]

I do actually moo at alliance players when I pass by them in pvp areas.  I generally don't attack folks unprovoked but it's surprising how much panic a single tauren mooing at somebody can cause.

And I think it's more because of WoW's bad reputation for community.    Doesn't honestly seem too bad... if you turn the general, trade, and guild recruitment channels off in towns...and then pretend yer playing a singleplayer game...

Nothing like a chat game where you type "anal [insert chatlink to a suitably named skill or item]"

[KaguroDraven]

Eh, Barrens is the epitome of the worst chat WoW has to offer, or atleast it was back when I used to play.