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Author Topic: Things that made you absolutely terrified today  (Read 1782930 times)

methylatedspirit

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20280 on: March 23, 2020, 09:39:00 am »

I got told by my mom (a shrink) that I'm going to have psychotic symptoms for possibly my entire lifetime. I'm usually stable, but there will be moments where I might go a little psychotic. That statement, though, set off a deep fear, a fear of having my brain turn on itself. It's almost primal, in a sense; that I can't trust my own brain anymore. It scares me. Best I can do now is to limit the damage in times where I'm less than stable, and I don't think I've come to terms with that yet.
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Iduno

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20281 on: March 23, 2020, 10:11:10 am »

I got told by my mom (a shrink) that I'm going to have psychotic symptoms for possibly my entire lifetime. I'm usually stable, but there will be moments where I might go a little psychotic. That statement, though, set off a deep fear, a fear of having my brain turn on itself. It's almost primal, in a sense; that I can't trust my own brain anymore. It scares me. Best I can do now is to limit the damage in times where I'm less than stable, and I don't think I've come to terms with that yet.

Yeah, it takes some doing to get "used to" it. If you can get medicated, that is usually better (I miss being on my medications and not being awake all night having panic attacks from dreams/memories). Good luck to you, and I hope you find something that helps.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20282 on: March 23, 2020, 02:58:24 pm »

I do medicate whenever those symptoms emerge, but even then, it feels like it's just shifting the problem ahead a couple steps. Instead of suffering through the symptoms, I get to feel half-dead as the medication drops my dopamine (and serotonin) levels through the floor. I won't deny that they're effective, but it feels like a really crude way to go about it. There's also the side effect of waking up earlier than expected, which is just weird.
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20283 on: March 23, 2020, 03:01:22 pm »

Might be a symptom of stress. I wake up really early occasionally, and sometimes multiple times through the night, when I'm feeling stressed.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20284 on: March 23, 2020, 03:46:48 pm »

Hard to separate stress from the meds, though; being under the effect of the medication seems to stress me out, almost certainly because having dopamine levels that low is unpleasant.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20285 on: March 23, 2020, 08:18:38 pm »

My ADHD is similar to that. In my case the only symptoms I retained into adulthood was short-term memory issues. I completely lose time sometimes.

Like, oh hey, I was going to the grocery store, what part of town am I even in? Let's ask google how to get to the store from here.
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Iduno

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20286 on: March 23, 2020, 08:22:12 pm »

Hard to separate stress from the meds, though; being under the effect of the medication seems to stress me out, almost certainly because having dopamine levels that low is unpleasant.

Yeah, one of the side effects to PTSD meds being "don't feel human emotion anymore" matters less, because the only emotion you're used to having is fear.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20287 on: March 23, 2020, 09:11:55 pm »

My ADHD is similar to that. In my case the only symptoms I retained into adulthood was short-term memory issues. I completely lose time sometimes.
Funny you should mention that; I do actually have ADHD. A condition characterized by a chronic lack of dopamine. Somehow, I have psychotic symptoms (a weaker diagnosis than psychosis, which in turn is weaker than schizophrenia), a condition which, from my rudimentary understanding, is characterized by too much dopamine.

I don't know how these apparently contradictory conditions can exist in the same person, yet, here I am!
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20288 on: March 23, 2020, 09:33:17 pm »

Well, I mean, these conditions probably have to do with more than just levels of dopamine. Levels of dopamine could just be usual (which could just mean in something like 55% or 60% of cases) symptoms for those conditions, not make or break indicators. Human mental state is too complex to just be summed up with a few abundance counters.

Heck, even DF dwarves are more sophisticated than that :p
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20289 on: March 23, 2020, 10:24:29 pm »

Psychosis ain't so bad, it's coming to and learning what you got up to in the meantime that is truly awful.
You have my sympathy!
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itisnotlogical

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20290 on: March 23, 2020, 10:38:16 pm »

I'm genuinely afraid for my life. There are no known cases in my county. But President Faketan is talking about ordering businesses to reopen in a matter of weeks, and I know that a lot of libertarians in the area are going to "own the libs" by going outside, touching everything and not washing their hands. If my wife catches it, then her aunt is toast. If my mom catches it, both of us are dead. If my asthmatic sister catches it then she's absolutely screwed, as are her children. My brother's kids, one of whom is barely a toddler, are probably toast--and bro isn't looking too good himself, being a sedentary obese alcoholic.

I could take my life being in the hands of doctors, but in the hands of everybody else in the country I like my odds much, much less.
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20291 on: March 23, 2020, 10:58:38 pm »

You should worry less, at least about the kids.



Note: this is mainland China. Generally not great healthcare.

You should also worry less in general. Basic precautions are most of the distance. Obviously, wash your hands regularly. Have separate outside clothes and home clothes and change as soon as you get home. (Was surprised a lot of people don't do this already.) No matter how many other people spread their germs  onto a surface, washing your hands once you come home makes the buck stop there. That's the vast majority of the secondary exposure eliminated. Stay at least 3 feet away, preferably 6 feet, from other people in public. If you avoid normally crowded areas like the subway, that is actually not too difficult. Try to find masks if possible, for the people who go outside often. You can make impromptu masks also. Or just wear scarves. Respiratory droplets are mostly liquid, they don't penetrate too deeply.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2020, 11:03:04 pm by bloop_bleep »
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delphonso

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20292 on: March 23, 2020, 11:07:37 pm »

I think itisnotlogical's point is that you can do this, but when living with others, you're only as safe as the least careful person around.

Lord Shonus

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20293 on: March 24, 2020, 12:10:57 am »

I'm genuinely afraid for my life. There are no known cases in my county. But President Faketan is talking about ordering businesses to reopen in a matter of weeks, and I know that a lot of libertarians in the area are going to "own the libs" by going outside, touching everything and not washing their hands. If my wife catches it, then her aunt is toast. If my mom catches it, both of us are dead. If my asthmatic sister catches it then she's absolutely screwed, as are her children. My brother's kids, one of whom is barely a toddler, are probably toast--and bro isn't looking too good himself, being a sedentary obese alcoholic.

I could take my life being in the hands of doctors, but in the hands of everybody else in the country I like my odds much, much less.

Trump can't order businesses to re-open. All of the active "shut it all down" orders are at the state level. Only the state Governors have a say in when those orders are lifted, and Governors tend to be much more accountable due to having a much smaller voter base that is much more directly and universally impacted. Trump's showboating because he's terrified of the stock market tanking - the strong economic numbers were the only thing supporting him politically (any other President with the same numbers would be almost unbeatable - the fact that 2020 was even in play is a testament to just how bad the backlash has been), and when Numbers Go Down his popularity dwindles.
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you absolutely terrified today
« Reply #20294 on: March 24, 2020, 12:29:42 am »

Oh, I misread that as in their country there are no known cases, and so assumed he wasn't in the USA. My mistake. Yeah, if businesses are already closed in your area there's little chance of them reopening soon.
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