Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[King Zultan]

Eteedl

[martinuzz]

Covfefe


EDIT: It would be poetic justice though, if fur coats started eating their wearer's brains.

[MrRoboto75]

Dad keep trying to get me to see a dermatologist, as in spite of my late 20's age my face is still lumpy with acne.  I've tried at least five over-the-counter creams or alcohol pads or whatever.  They might lessen the effects but they never actually get rid of it.

I'm not looking forward to seeing a doctor.  I've been burned so many times on various kinds of doctors, seems like whatever drive to help people that might have driven them to become a doctor died a long time ago.  Either apathy for a quick paycheck or a prescription pill, or they end up doing more harm than good.

Trying to improve the way I look is a turd polishing effort anyways.

[LordBaal]

You are not a turd. It would seem you havent had luck finding the right cream. You could need antibiotics or maybe just a special soap.

I had a bad case of pizza face when was a teen and like you no cream did much, improving my facial hygene by washing my face with neutral soap helped A LOT back then.

[bloop_bleep]

Mr. Roboto, I've realized that most of what we say will not help you get over your feelings of inferiority unless you take it in your own hands to some degree. I think you do realize that what you're feeling is not rational and not helpful. At 26 few people should be feeling completely lost and worthless. I understand that seeing a therapist may turn out to be a not useful endeavor; I experienced something similar. However, what a therapist is supposed to do is mainly to teach you how to therapize yourself. To that goal there are usually plenty of resources available. I did an Internet search and came up with the following:

https://www.happeemindz.com/overcome-inferiority-complex

https://www.psychreg.org/inferiority-complex/

https://susie-moore.com/confidence/how-to-overcome-inferiority-complex/

You can also do some finding on your own, and perhaps buy some books, since those tend to be more comprehensive than internet articles. I did something similar for my problems.

It seems to me that this is the main problem for you right now, and it's bogging you down in many aspects of your life and in that way reinforcing itself. You can move towards eradicating it, but it might take some work. Right now a voice in your head may be telling you that this would be worthless. Recognize this is the complex talking and not you. The best thing you can do right now is to take initiative on this.

If you'd like, I can give you some tips from my experience.

Good luck and best wishes, my friend.

[MrRoboto75]

I'm pretty sure a doctor ignoring the fact the pain meds he gave me the week before had no effect and shoving things into my nether regions anyway is medical malpractice, and if I felt like shit that day really isn't the real issue.  And it wasn't the first time a doctor was uncaring or even harmful.  Same with a lot of therapists, they'd rather collect the weekly check than solve a problem.

[bloop_bleep]

Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear. I wasn't talking about the doctors you just mentioned, though that does seem horrible. I was talking about you referring to yourself as a turd. And I was suggesting you try some things on your own, without going through a therapist necessarily, because I understand they may be not very effective sometimes.

[MrRoboto75]

My therapist's suggestion this week was to apply for a specific job (because her autistic kids work there), because she still lives in boomer fairy tale land, where applying to just one job will get you hired, getting promoted is still a thing, and where you get dates by walking into a bar.  And they get mad at me when their advice barely fits into reality.  Every job search I've done easily required well over 100 applications and the overwhelming majority of those will never see a response, its a waste of time.

Every therapist I've run into thinks like this, that people can just live like boomers anymore, because that's how they live.

[bloop_bleep]

Then try other methods than a therapist, as I said. This therapist from what you've said seems like they're not tackling the actual psychological issue here which is your feelings of inferiority. The thing is many therapists who are "talk therapists" are quacks because there's a lot of mumbo jumbo in the field, Freud or such. They may be good as just companions and advisers but they're not really doctors. If you're looking for a therapist that's effective in the actual doctoring of your mind you should get one that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, as that's an actually scientific, methodical approach that has been demonstrated to be helpful. This is relatively new so you should look for younger therapists who probably studied this in school. However you don't necessarily need a therapist to apply these methods. There are articles online and books for this. I have a book myself. It can be helpful for you.

[MrRoboto75]

CBT in my experience boiled down to telling me that what I objectively observe isn't what I objectively observe, because what I thought/felt is more important than the guy in front of me treating me like shit day in and day out for 10 15 years straight.  Its just trying to delude yourself into a fake reality where there isn't people treating you like trash or that you don't exist.  Its just the latest fad in therapy to combat the fact that modern society breeds mental illness.

[bloop_bleep]

That's not cognitive behavioral therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy has had significant positive effects for me in the past. However it needs the participant's cooperation and effort. It is about prodding your mind with stimuli in such a way that your mind is corrected through exposure.

Also, isn't what you think/feel actually more important anyway? Isn't that person treating you like shit matter mostly because of how it makes you think/feel? Given you're 26 it's not unreasonable to think that this person who you were in contact with for 10 to 15 years was your parent, caregiver, family member, or someone else present during your childhood or adolescence. That is, during the time which you might not have the independence to move away from the issue on your own. Doesn't the problem then become how you deal with its presence?

One of the links had a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Being in shitty situations in life which have a tendency to "breed mental illness" as you say is something which happens to people sometimes. A lot. What you can do about it is change how it affects your mental state, including your attitude toward yourself. So you can't find a job or a date or friends. You can deal with that without considering yourself a turd or worthless or disgusting or other unreasonable things. That's a cognitive problem you should solve. It's ok and normal to feel depressed or inferior or worthless in the moment, but it's not normal to feel that way all the time to the degree you do. So you should take initiative on solving this problem.

[MrRoboto75]

Isn't that person treating you like shit matter mostly because of how it makes you think/feel? Given you're 26 it's not unreasonable to think that this person who you were in contact with for 10 to 15 years was your parent, caregiver, family member, or someone else present during your childhood or adolescence. That is, during the time which you might not have the independence to move away from the issue on your own. Doesn't the problem then become how you deal with its presence?

Its human nature to identify ways other people are different than you and hate them for it.  I'll spend literally less than two minutes with someone at work and they'll be irrationally angry at me for something as stupid as a smile, or the precise amount of eye contact.  It happens constantly with a wide variety of people.

And the economy will never pay me enough to live independently.  House prices go up up up and I'm still paid minimum.  The economy has shit the bed every ten years or so, and that's never been to the benefit of workers.

So you can't find a job or a date or friends. You can deal with that without considering yourself a turd or worthless or disgusting or other unreasonable things. That's a cognitive problem you should solve. It's ok and normal to feel depressed or inferior or worthless in the moment, but it's not normal to feel that way all the time to the degree you do. So you should take initiative on solving this problem.

I've tried hundreds of times, in hundreds of ways, to improve aspect of my life and every time something will get in the way.  Life is just walls in every direction, no income, no time, no place to live, nowhere to go to meet people.

[bloop_bleep]

See, now you just gave me a perfectly reasonable explanation for your current situation -- the economy, the social structure, your social position, the job market, and so on. None of this implies your worthlessness. However your inferiority complex is telling you that you're a useless turd and you should feel ashamed of yourself and this comes up in other posts of yours. Do you see what I'm getting at? Do you see how despite actually thinking there's nothing for you to be ashamed of you still feel that way for no reason? I'm trying to get you to acknowledge there's a problem here beyond your physical situation. Do you acknowledge that?

[dragdeler]

-

[MrRoboto75]

See, now you just gave me a perfectly reasonable explanation for your current situation -- the economy, the social structure, your social position, the job market, and so on. None of this implies your worthlessness. However your inferiority complex is telling you that you're a useless turd and you should feel ashamed of yourself and this comes up in other posts of yours. Do you see what I'm getting at? Do you see how despite actually thinking there's nothing for you to be ashamed of you still feel that way for no reason? I'm trying to get you to acknowledge there's a problem here beyond your physical situation. Do you acknowledge that?

People treat you worse if you have a poor appearance.  People treat you worse if you have poor social skills.  It doesn't help me, even if society is hard determined to tear itself apart in self-destructive stupidity.

For what it's worth you never bothered me. I never watched you so I couldn't guess what makes people supposedly irrationally angry... Can you be sure they weren't just too stressed to not be assholes, you're overthinking or something like that? Sry I'll stop, I don't feel like repeating that.

We've been grooming shitty, entitled customers for decades now.  They know management will ultimately reward them for being shitty.  My management sides with the customers on this, the only good marks I got on my annual review is that I show up on time and don't take leave.  Customer service is barely adequate.  And I don't take leave because I literally can't, because somebody is taking time off every week.  Trying to "stand my ground" at work would probably end up with me fired, in the worst labor market to date.