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Author Topic: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?  (Read 18083 times)

abadidea

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2010, 06:26:48 pm »

A complex simulation which demonstrates the cutting edge of procedural generation with a richly varied geography and culture AI so that the player may enjoy the most realistic challenge available for constructing, managing, and defending a fantasy fortress. Obstacles include goblin raids, monstrosities of the deep, and, naturally, dwarven stupidity.
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ABadIdea likes bandfire opal, black opal, claro opal, crystal opal, fire opal, harlequin opal, jelly opal, levin opal, pinfire opal, precious fire opal, red flash opal, white opal, and microcline for its vibrant hue.

glory in the thunder, resplendent in the sky <-- I wrote a whole novel. There will be more.

mal7690

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2010, 07:02:09 pm »

A richly detailed simulation where you manage some number of booze repositories more commonly referred as dwarves as they go and complete tasks of your desire usually in the most wrong order possible resulting in the entire fortress falling to invaders, magma, water, tantrums, fun, or some combination of these.
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Cat heads, cat heads, roly poly cat heads,
Biting at the dorf necks, now I have dorf heads.

twilightdusk

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2010, 08:26:33 pm »

A fortress in the hills, or mountians, deserts, islands, volcanoes, deep underground, lush jungles, trading with dwarves, elves, humans, and trading blows with goblins and kobolds, Build with stone, wood, metal, and glass, structures to live in and items to trade, farm crops for food, or hunt for wild animals.
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A man would see that as a difficult challenge.
An elf would see that and despair.
A dwarf would see that and say, "Bring it on."

!!crundle!!

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2010, 09:56:39 pm »

MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA
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w̷̦̬̹̣͕̙͖͑̓̌̓̑̄͒͋͜͝h̙̩͈̱͚̳̳̪͖̙͕̥̳ͥ̍̔͂̑̿̓̍̑ͣ͆̅̀͢y̧̼̭͎͓̟̺͉̰͎̱̜ͫ̂́͗̐̑́w̢̬̪͈̲̽̋́̈̓ͨ̄͐̿̓ͧ̇ͩ̏ͫ̑̎͟͡ḩ̡͍̫̣̹̬̙̭͊ͯͯ̉͡y̔ͥ̏͛̀̂̎̆ͥͮ̐̍̈̏͆̓̅̒҉̢̘͚͎̠̻̣̯̥̠̙̤̪̮̝̲̜̪́̕̕ͅw̸̗̻̱ͭͣͦͤ̇̑̅͗ͨͬ͋̉͊ͨ͂͜hͩͪ̋ͣ̇̔͂ͧ̍̾͂͏̨̠͕̼̟͙̳̺͕̥͔̜̮̩̰̲̞̼y̴̸̵̪͕̜̪̙̦̘ͧ̽̇ͭͭͬͯ̾̈́̐̂̉͆͒ͤ̌̀̕w̺̟͙͙̭͇̟̮͉̯͈͖̩͔͊͛ͧͯ̀̿ͣͪ͂ͪ͘̕͠ͅh̷̴̷̢͉͖̺̦̣͙̓ͧ̅͋ͪ̾̓͒̌̒ͯ̇́ͯ̕y̋ͪ̓̒̈́͞͏̤̗̞̲̪͚̮̤̫̪̺̪̫̕w̸͔̺̱̼̪̮̘̟͖̭̱͓͈̜͇͚͉̙͊̈́ͦ̅̋̂ͩ̓͗́̚͡ͅĥ̶̨̟̺͕̌͆͒͑ͦͨ̉͆͜͜ý̧͓̼̘̯͉̘̺̩͇̻͈͔̖͎̜͍ͭ̌ͩ͟͝͞

Stone Wera

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #19 on: March 05, 2011, 01:01:57 am »

Dwarf Fortress; wherein you manage a fortress who's cheif exports are almost invariably magma, terror, elf corpses, and of course the concentrated lamentation of the widows of the aforementioned elves. Another defining feature is that the objective is to create a prosperous fort, yet the enjoyment is found in losing.
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Biag

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2011, 01:24:00 am »

Robinson Crusoe times seven made short, left in the wilderness to live and find nature's treasure; iron is mined, swords are forged, the blood of goblins carpets the halls. Deeper! calls the overseer. Ever deeper! Within the earth's bowels, a blue shine: deeper, ever deeper, and then everybody dies messily.
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elf-fondling human

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2011, 01:25:12 am »

Urist McDwarf cancels eat, interuppted by two-legged rhino lizard. x10
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That didn't last long, huh? Shame, cause binary's cool. Anyway, an important message: I will be changing my names on every username based thing I use to ASCIt on/around 10/1. Consolidating, I guess you could say.

Angel-of-Dusk

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2011, 02:13:41 am »

Dwarf fortress is about elephants, mass murder, killing nobles, building pointlessly large things for pure enjoyment, magma, alcoholics, Carp that molest short men looking to get a drink, easily killable ancient beasts with blood that causes your dwarves to explode in a few weeks, and cats that slow time down.
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Duntada Man

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #23 on: March 05, 2011, 02:45:06 am »

Oh god.  Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

Does screaming count as a word? If not add that in there somewhere and this is perfect.

If it does count, then this is already perfect.
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Girlinhat: The biggest issue seems to be size.  A 1x1 room would allow for maximum child desecration.

parlor_tricks

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #24 on: March 05, 2011, 02:45:52 am »

Attempt 1

The game creates a bare world, tests its rain and drainage, simulates rivers, grows forests, and monsters escape hell. Then history begins – tiny outposts rise to empire, wage war and are forgotten. Heroes die, fiends corrupt, and the poor starve. And that’s before you even begin to play Dwarf Fortress.

Attempt 2

Dwarf fortress simulates the creation of a world, models its weather and temperature, its wars, heroes and monsters over a 1050 years. Painstaking detail is lavished on this perfect fae world, so that you can then use 7 dwarfs to pump magma from the core to kill goblins.
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Poindexterity

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #25 on: March 05, 2011, 04:03:09 am »

It starts you off on an open space with 7 dwarves and as much gear and food as you can fit on the wagon. your job is to build a dwarven stronghold out of what you brought and what you find. Things kill you and it gets really complicated.
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Life (in dwarf fortress) is a cocophany of flavours, each more succulent than the last - why not sample them all?!

Psieye

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2011, 04:27:08 am »

A Monte Carlo fantasy novel simulator. Push buton, randomly generate world, step into it and do stuff. It's a life project in progress and currently the mode that is most played has you in charge of a dwarf colony. Incomplete simulation rules create hilarious stories.


That's 45 words, it can be edited to be made into 50.
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Nazguran

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #27 on: March 05, 2011, 05:03:16 am »

Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, CATSPLOSION!!!
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Malkire

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #28 on: March 05, 2011, 05:34:26 am »

Found fortress. Seven Dwarves. Deforest Land, invoke war with elves. Burn said elves with Magma. Atom smash rocks. Menace with spikes of cheese. Breed cats. Urist has withdrawn from society. Rock moving cheese maker. Dig deep. Find candy. Visit the circus. Greet the clowns. Have a FUN time. Sad face.
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MarcAFK

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Re: Can you describe Dwarf Fortress in exactly 50 words?
« Reply #29 on: March 05, 2011, 07:59:27 am »

Dwarf!  Indeed, a devious delight fond of drink and industry deceived as both do-gooder and devil by the delusions of deities.  This demander, no daft demeanor, is a driving force of the deadly diocese, now disappointed, delirious from goblin deception.  However, this delicious derangement of a demolished diamond stands determined!

what
the
fuck


?
I am so sigging this.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.
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