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[!!crundle!!]

This is a thread.

On the item is and image of Dodek Syrupheals the Holy Lightning of Gears.

-

Let's have a thread about badass dwarves in your forts, whether they punched out an FB unharmed, or killed and entire siege with no hands, talk about them.

My current badass is in a young fort. He only has six kills, but...

• He has only gotten a bruise to his leg, in all his fights.
• He wears THREE artifact clothing items
• He has a badass title (the Holy Lightning of Gears)
• Oh hey, there's an FB right now, maybe i'll send him to kill it
• He has more kills than the magma trap, infinitely more.
• (That trap hasn't killed anyone. Yet.)

[Acperience]

O hey, you just divided by zero.

[Jacob/Lee]

!!crundle!! is on his kill list.

[Kc_spot]

O hey, you just divided by zero.

OH WTH MAN? NOW I GOTTA FIX THIS WITH MY GIANT FREAKIN BRIAN

[Acperience]

Sorry for the slight derailment. But any dwarf that casually kills enemies with their bare limbs makes my list.

After a goblin lasher killed my legendary mechanic outside, I stationed my military near the entrance.
My militia commander (who was the mechanic's wife) casually kicked through the goblin's iron helmet and tore his brain, without even slowing down on her way to the station site.

[!!crundle!!]

O hey, you just divided by zero.

OH WTH MAN? NOW I GOTTA FIX THIS WITH MY GIANT FREAKIN BRIAN

Nuh-NOT MY FAULT HE DID IT MAN

[Don Blake]

Not in one of my forts, but I've had Legends mode turn up stupidly epic Dwarves before.  Like the Lamentation of Ravens, who after having his left arm ripped off by a black bear while in his twenties, went on, over the course of the rest of his life, to kill nearly a hundred and fifty elves, as well as the dwarf leader of a goblin civilization, who was a badass in his own right with over two hundred forty kills.

The Lamentation of Ravens was overshadowed by the dwarf that followed him as ruler, though.  That would be The Grasping Grief, who started fighting at age twelve , ascended to ruler at fourteen and killed  over nine hundred elves by the time they killed him. 

[Kc_spot]

^^ this is why I started playing DF... stories like these.

[Don Blake]

^^ this is why I started playing DF... stories like these.

The Grasping Grief had a couple of badass friends, too, although only one with a 900+ killcount and none quite as awesomely named as the fucking Lamentation of Ravens.

Sadly, in the end, even with riddiculous kill ratios like they were getting, they were drowned in elves after a long three way war with them and the local Goblin civilization (which one of the badass dwarves finally ended by killing their legendary final two warriors, an elf and a dwarf each with killcounts in the hundreds.  500 years of worldgen makes for some awesome histories.

[Mickey Blue]

Back in the early version of 31.whatever I had a dwarf who in combat with some blind cave ogres had both of his arms ripped off (one at the shoulder, one at the elbow) as well as countless other scars and injuries and survived it and recovered to the point he could walk around.  He spent most of his time trying to do various tasks but not being able to due to his current handicapped nature.

However that isn't really what made him bad ass, what made him bad ass was when my fortress was crumbling under heavy enemy attack and monsters were streaming into it from the caverns below he entered into combat with a giant cave rat (or something similar) and bit it into submission (it ran off), now that takes guts.

He is a dwarf of legends and without question was my most injured dwarf who actually survived and recovered from his injuries (as opposed to dieing obviously, or surviving but sleeping in the hospital bed forever).

-MB

[iyaerP]

Mine is Meng Glinteye, the Fungi of Attacks. Custom profession: "Grim Reaper" Fifty three notable kills, 70something not so notable kills. Mostly alligators (which the map is infested with and which eat my workers) and horses from the human sieges.

His most badass moment.... well he has three that are noteworthy. One was 1-shotting my first forgotton beast, a giant snail with external wings and poison gas (which he ignored like the badass that he is) Another was killing a siege of 3 squads of goblin archers and one melee squad. Siege that claimed 3 of his recruits in the first fight. My other legendary axedorf was asleep at the time. So Meng on his own finished off the macegoblin squad and charged into melee and killed 2 entire archer squads before the other one fled without taking a SINGLE hit. This was back before bows were nerfed, and they were more akin to machineguns than bows.

His last fight worthy of note was against a bronze collossus. when they were still unkillable by anything short of dragonfire, magma, or a 2-handed slade greatsword(arena mode showed that one).  Meng however was able to take one down. Fought it for a couple of months without taking a hit, it had every limb shattered. I eventually updated to a newer version, and the bronze collossus was instantly decapitated, but not by Meng, but rather by a speardorf. I have since forgiven the speardorf cuz he has proven badass as well. Just not as badass as Meng.

Since then, I have upgraded Meng and the speardorf (who is now legendary, and one of my only dorfs comperable to Meng) with an artifact adamantine weapona apiece and a full set of top quality ada plate. (was so awesome. I breached the HFS and went 4 moods without any ada artifacts. Two moods in a row are adamantine weapons. a spear and then a battle axe. One for each of my two best dorfs. WOOT!)

So should you ever venture deep into the mountain range Cradle of Spines, and enter the dwarven Mountainhome of Claspedchurches, pay your respects to Meng Glinteye, the Fungi of Attacks.


editted for things I forgot:

1) All of Meng's crazy awesome fights I listed? all of those happened before I even had hit the flux layer, so only had iron gear for him.

2) A less legendary note about Meng? one time, during a human siege, he killed a human by BITING HIS THROAT OUT.

3) other badasses in my fort include the Shield-Dwarf Captain America, who, because of a bug with arsenal dwarf position in the verison I played in (same version with the crossbow machine guns and the unkillable BCs) went into battle naked. Except for an adamantine shield. Got no kills with it, but emerged unscathed at the end. (adamantine makes for TERRIBLE blunt force trauma weapons)

[JoshBrickstien]

My Dorf pales in comparison.
There was a troll in my fort. Only slightly injured from when he fought my woodcutter. He killed about 6 dorfs. My Miner walked up wile the troll was pummeling a dyer, or something, and drove his pick through the troll's skull, killing it in one hit. He then promptly went back to work.

[slothen]

Now this may not be as cool since this dwarf was danger-room trained, however during my second siege (and first significant one), I had taken out most of the siege but a large group of lashers was still advancing.  I prudently decided to pull my dwarves back behind the gates so my crossbowdwarves could soften them up from the walls and the axedwarves could sandwich corner them between the traps.  My militia commander and #2 dwarf of the axe-squad had already spotted the lashers and charged to meet them on the field.  With lashers being as they are, and help far behind, I was a little concerned.  My dwarf went into a trance and racked up 10 kills, earning the name "Hatchetkingdom the Gilded Drinker of Stilling."  I checked the combat logs later and saw not a single blow landed.  Every attack of the lashers was dodged, blocked, or parried.  She could have been wearing no armor, and still not taken a scratch.

She also has a preference for dusk freaks.

[Namfuak]

I don't use danger rooms, so my dwarves always have really high fighter/random combat skills as well as weapon skills.  As such, their punches and kicks are often deadlier than their weapons, and land many killing blows.  I think that, without a doubt, this was the most badass thing I have seen so far though (and not from a military dwarf):

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's right, he bit a kobold in the cheek, latched on, shook him around, and ripped it apart.  The Kobold didn't even shake him off, his skin literally couldn't take the force of this miner's bite.

[cog disso]

I like Moslo the Minotaur more, just because his story is SO FUCKING TRAGIC. He's my current civilization's engraving fixation.

THE TALE OF MOSLO

Moslo the minotaur appeared over 1000 years ago, and was the first of his kind. He spent several centuries roaming the countryside, making allies of the various civilizations because he hated night creatures more than anything else. About three years in, he went to war with an ogress, and this war lasted for another two centuries, because the ogress had a lot of allies, and Moslo would tear them apart, one by one. Eventually, Moslo gives up and starts killing elves, and elven war parties start going after him.

At some point, Moslo meets his bride, a minotaur I just call "Mrs. Moslo" because I can't remember her name. Mr. and Mrs. Moslo go merrily on the rampage throughout the world, killing elves and trolls as they go, and eventually they retire to a nearby cave to create some minotaurlings. The dwarves and elves send over 150 soldiers to go try to kill him, and they all die. Finally, I built a fortress a bit too close to Moslo's cave, and Mrs. Moslo got caught in one of my traps.

A few years go by, and Moslo shows up, and he's obviously more cautious than Mrs. Moslo, and he gives me time to call an alert and all the dwarves close in to the fort in time. At the top of the fortress is my artifact temple, where Mrs. Moslo has been kept the entire time. Moslo, very carefully, piece by piece, tears apart my doors, one at a time. He KNOWS there are traps and FINALLY he gives in to minotaur bloodlust and suicidally walks into one. It was absolutely tragic. Moslo and his bride are finally reunited in the artifact temple, where they sit side by side in iron cages for about a decade.

Meanwhile, I build a goblin ecology tank, which leads to a mass riot as all of my dwarves are too terrified to leave the dining hall, which is where the tank sat. After a tantrum spiral, I was forced to abandon the fortress, and eventually I discover through thumbing through Legacy Mode and playing Adventurer that some humans attempted to reclaim the fortress, and killed Mrs. Moslo in the attempt in front of Moslo's eyes.

They try to kill Moslo too, but from what I can tell in Legends, he killed about 15 humans in the attempt. He became leader of the goblins and is now plotting his revenge from the captured abandoned fortress. EVEN WORSE, the ogress that he was originally at war with is now listed as "Ally".

I fully expect this to play itself out with my next fortress somehow.