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Author Topic: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.  (Read 2379 times)

UristMcDwarf

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Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« on: December 17, 2010, 02:44:10 pm »

I just caught 2 within 5 min of eachother, but this one got away, he was noticed RIGHT NEXT to this kid, oh gosh, that kid must have been tramatized. :P
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Aspgren

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2010, 02:58:44 pm »

hehe.

i had the worst snatcher ever the other day ... this kid was tearing down a piece of wall outdoors because i was relocating the entrance. suddenly i hear "SNATCHER! PROTECT THE CHILDREN!" and i see the goblin next to the kid. i'm surprised at the vigilance of the child and send the militia .. they killed the goblin... and then i checked the combat log.

 The snatcher was spotted because he snuck up behind the child, tried to grab her, missed and slammed into the wall.

facepalm
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UristMcDwarf

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2010, 03:06:12 pm »

hehe.

i had the worst snatcher ever the other day ... this kid was tearing down a piece of wall outdoors because i was relocating the entrance. suddenly i hear "SNATCHER! PROTECT THE CHILDREN!" and i see the goblin next to the kid. i'm surprised at the vigilance of the child and send the militia .. they killed the goblin... and then i checked the combat log.

 The snatcher was spotted because he snuck up behind the child, tried to grab her, missed and slammed into the wall.

facepalm

That must have been hilarious.

Kid:Lalala...
Goblin:RAWR! -Slams into wall-
Militia:-Kills goblin-
Kid:...?
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Zrk2

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2010, 03:22:22 pm »

Why am I reminded of Home Alone?

Because this is the DF version...?
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Internet Kraken

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2010, 03:22:56 pm »

Why am I reminded of Home Alone?

All those useless stone toys you can make would be a lot better if we could use them to build convoluted traps.
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shadowform

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2010, 03:32:38 pm »

Why am I reminded of Home Alone?
Because Dwarf Fortress essentially amounts to a competition between the userbase to see who can create the most elaborate, unlikely, impossible, and utterly devastating traps possible.

It's like Home Alone, but with magma instead of toy cars!
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CapnUrist

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2010, 05:00:53 pm »

My goodness. That's just too comical. I can see it now.

The snatcher has almost reached his prize. The young dwarf is oblivious, as are the rest of its bearded kin. He's been too careful to let this go now. The tower will sing of his capture over mulled cider this evening. He can already taste it.

He readies his bag beneath his cloak, and reaches out, slowly at first, but anticipation forces his hand. He lunges!

"Oooh, pwat'num!"

Just as the snatcher's hand would close on the dwarflet's mouth, it instead claws at empty air as its target now searches the ground for the shiny pebble that had caught its eye. The snatcher cannot stop himself now; momentum has him in its own grasp, It seems to happen in slow motion, the child on the ground, the bag empty in the snatcher's hand, the wall coming to meet his face. Failure settles in his cheek as a dull ache, and a low groan escapes his fanged mouth.

Suddenly, the child shrieks! The goblin's utterance was heard, and his cover blown! He looks for an escape, only to find every possible avenue blocked by angry dwarves in chainmail, hefting axes and maces. Two words fall through the snatcher's lips before the militia descend upon him, gibberish to any dwarf.

"Mulled cider..."
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UristMcDwarf

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2010, 05:14:06 pm »

-stuff
"Oooh, pwat'num!"
-stuff-

MY FAVORITE PART
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Demicus

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2010, 05:31:12 am »

This story. It's really funny. Dumb Goblins failing their jobs.
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Max White

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2010, 05:36:28 am »

Goblin snatchers can't catch you if your astroboy!

Aspgren

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2010, 05:12:19 pm »

This story. It's really funny. Dumb Goblins failing their jobs.

and falling at their jobs :D
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The crossbow squad, 'The Bolts of Fleeing' wouldn't even show up.
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froplo

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Re: Goblin snatchers are trying too hard.
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2010, 10:22:25 pm »

I see what you did there.
Doesn't make it funny though.
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