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Author Topic: Your badass dorfs?  (Read 10154 times)

Musashi

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2010, 06:04:49 am »

[snip]
Epic.
A story needs to be written, and it must menace with spikes of awesome, amazing, and revenge. I'd get to it if I had the proper fey mood.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

cog disso

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2010, 06:14:06 am »

He's not even a megabeast! I'm still in the Age of Hydra and Titan.
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shadowform

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2010, 08:06:55 am »

Ablel Helmedbattle the Fresh Wrath of Martyrs

Ablel's career in the military began from the moment he arrived in Starswords as a adequate speardwarf, armor user, shield user, fighter, and wrestler.  It begun in earnest soon after when he and his unit ventured into the caverns beneath Starswords to confront the forgotten beasts that had slowly been accumulating since the foundation of the fortress.  The first forgotten beast they met, and the first to die, was Umuz Siegednights, a gigantic humanoid composed of salts.  Wielding a newly-forged adamantine spear of exceptional quality, Ablel struck this fiend down with the help of his squad.  Over that year he would strike down a further seven goblins and a second forgotten beast, a huge eyeless dragonfly with a poisonous bite called Rushan, with this same spear.  A third forgotten beast, Isa the Playful Witch, he killed with a fierce kick that dispersed entirely the steam that formed its body. 

It was only by chance that Ablel arrived experienced with a spear instead of his favored weapon, a mace, and it was again by chance that Ber Labormesh, the fort's primary weaponsmith, felt himself irresistibly drawn to the forges early in the year 557, the year after the above events.  From here he grabbed (through use of forbid) adamantine, along with some leather and glass, and forged a mighty spear he named The Unwelcome Desert, which bears an image of the fortress's foundation in green glass.  This weapon was quickly assigned to Ablel, and his old spear was sent to the forges to be decorated in commemoration of his achievements.

In the next two years he only scored seven more kills, but two of those were forgotten beasts.  The first was Ultush Washedswam, a six-legged turtle with lidless eyes, with goldenrod scales, and dripping with noxious secretions.  This fiend he had again slain with his bare hands, the kill registered to his person but not his spear.  The second was Esp the Deep of Mites, an enormous belching, croaking cobra with lidless eyes, two long, straight horns, emerald scales, and a poisonous bite.  This foul beast he struck down with a single, quick thrust that shattered through the creature's skull, destroying its brain and killing it instantly.  At some point during this period, the armorsmith Ushrir Inkfainted felt himself pulled to the forges as Ber had been, and (again, through careful use of forbidding) amassed a collection including adamantine, clear diamond, and star ruby before setting to work.  He forged a breastplate that bore an image of a spear in clear diamond.  It was named Dabbledhail, and quickly added to Ablel's equipment.

In the late spring of 559, he stepped into a pool containing some of the condensed poison vapor of Kogan, a towering, feathered...  er, shrimp.  This poison was the second to truly effect denizens of the fortress, although the beast itself was easily handled by two groups of mostly untrained, unskilled dwarves clad in iron and sworn to ensure creatures with such toxins are slain long before they reach the fortress - a task in which they are generally successful.  Ablel was hospitalized, dizzy, nauseous, and partially numb.  A doctor quickly diagnosed him.

Then he smacked him on the side of the head, called him an elf, and pointed out that there were children who had recovered from this toxin.  Ablel washed the forgotten beast extract off his left foot and marched back to the barracks, leaving a green trail behind him.

It was his first visit to the hospital.

One other thing about Ablel that deserves to be mentioned is his disposition: he has great intuition and a stunning feel for spatial relationships, an unbreakable will, enjoys the company of others, is honest, compassionate, confident, and friendly.  Admittedly he's no engineer, as his analytical abilities are poor, he has trouble focusing, he's disorganized and kind of impulsive.  In short: he's the goofy, good-natured jock from every sitcom ever.

Ral Galleyabbey the Even Wealth of Strangeness

Ral is Ablel's protege in a way.  Arriving half a year after her comrade, Ral fought alongside him in the siege of 556, although she only brought one goblin down and had her left foot and nose broken for her efforts.  Her foot was cleaned, sutured, set, and dressed, but took a year to heal.  Her nose, which could not recieve a cast, was left broken and became infected.  Assuming that she would die of infection, a small tomb was prepared to hold her in death, as she would have been the first of the adamantine-clad honor guard of Starswords to die as a result of combat.  Her foot did heal though, and by this point Ablel had taken up his new spear, and in honor of her recovery Ral was offered the old spear - which had been decorated with images of The Unwelcome Desert in silver and black bronze, in addition to a few other decorations.  In what remained of 557 she accomplished nothing.

It was during the winter siege of 558 that she proved her worth: she was the first to respond to the battle cry and she charged the invading force of goblins and trolls without backup.  She claimed ten lives, three of them trolls.  During his assault two quick-reacting members of the fortress's crossbow-armed guard unleashed a hail of bolts that killed three more goblins, and between Ral and the guards both of the two goblins leading the assault had been killed.  The remainder of her squad arrived mostly to chase the invaders back to the edge of the map.

Now with eleven kills to her name, she has truly earned her place in this prestigious military squad, at least until the infection claims her.
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Q: What do you get when you take 100 clear glass windows, 1000 silver bars, 6700 gold bars, and 18,000 marble blocks?

A: A very large wall.

"Alright, here's Helltooth... Harborfence... Urist, come get GenericBlade... and you. Welcome to the Danger Room. First timers get good ol' Ballswallowed. Have fun and try not to take off your own toe."

Fishbulb

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2010, 12:49:11 pm »

I can't hang with this crowd, but in the most recent goblin/ogre siege of Certaintomb I saw a little something neat. A hammerdwarf armed with a silver war hammer one-shotted a goblin, hitting it in the head, fracturing the skull and pushing the skull into the brain. This was, of course, instantly fatal to the goblin, but the neat part is this: The hammer became stuck. She hit the goblin in the head with her hammer so hard the hammer got stuck in the goblin's skull.

Of course I was tempted to nickname her Maxwell … but she's already got like four names already, and that'd just be showing off.
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The_Final_Stand

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2010, 12:55:28 pm »

As just posted in the "What's happening in your fort" thread, one of my Hammer Lords killed a Forest Titan made of yellow jaspers by kicking it in half. I have no idea how such a thing could have happened. She is noted to be "strong", but her kicker skill is still at "Dabbling". This was also her first kill.

She has been named "Axefoot" (by me, not the game) for her deed.
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Tenth Speed Writer

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2010, 09:17:09 pm »

Not sure if it's exactly badass, but I just watched a little dwarven girl pick up a skeletal marmot and punch its head off.
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Stoup

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2010, 01:30:38 am »

In the early days of Ashsteel, miners who had uncovered a cavern happily mulled about, dragging a fair number of gems down from its depths.

An unseen group of Troglodytes, however, managed to uncover the stairway, and chased one of my workers up the stairs.

Fortunately, a hunter was on the scene! Surely, he would-

The Troglodyte jumped up into the air, and like the motherfucker all troglodytes are, blew his head open with her foot.

That hunter was the first ranger I'd ever encountered in DF, and having someone with such impressive military skills was a real treat to me. So, following that, I sent my guard down on the beast and his comrades. Since I had previously no need for military action, most of my combat dwarves were sleeping/working/otherwise occupied. Only my Captain of the Guard showed up, and with his sword he viciously cut the Troglodyte leader to pieces.

Being that I was so enraged at the ranger's death, I decided to send him down to kick the shit out of the rest of the Troglodytes.

It is here that I learned the true power of the steel armor I had equipped my military with. He fought off 6 Troglodytes all on his own, even as they ganged up to fight him all at once they could not possibly hope to pierce his mighty steel armor.

He has since become my most prestigious military dwarf, leading the elite and well-trained half of my military. He's accumulated about 20 kills, an assist against a forgotten Jackrabbit beast, and probably 10 Crundles at once.

I'm taking this save very slowly/cautiously, as you can tell.
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JoshBrickstien

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2010, 01:42:59 am »

The problem with finding badassery in DF, is that the standard is so damn high.
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Stoup

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2010, 01:46:27 am »

I also had a miner chop off a goblin's arm during an ambush, and the rest of the ambush ran the fuck away. It was hilarious to watch one dwarf chasing after a squad of goblins, blood trailing after, then just returning things to normal.
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shadowform

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #24 on: December 18, 2010, 06:08:25 am »

The Troglodyte jumped up into the air, and like the motherfucker all troglodytes are, blew his head open with her foot.
Not sure which is cooler, the image of a ninja troglodyte kicking a dwarf in the head so hard it explodes, or the guard captain that killed him...
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Q: What do you get when you take 100 clear glass windows, 1000 silver bars, 6700 gold bars, and 18,000 marble blocks?

A: A very large wall.

"Alright, here's Helltooth... Harborfence... Urist, come get GenericBlade... and you. Welcome to the Danger Room. First timers get good ol' Ballswallowed. Have fun and try not to take off your own toe."

celem

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #25 on: December 18, 2010, 06:28:42 am »

Yeah DF is full of awesomesauce like this.

My current favorite (from one of my forts rather than legends)

I get a migrant metal crafter, he's legendary and I didnt have a metal crafter so he gets hauling disabled and gets his own forge assigned and everything.  I wander afk for a smoke, return to the keyboard and completely space on everything I had planned, putting said metalcrafter into a military squad despite him having no skills.

I didnt notice until 2 years later when he picked up his special name, but hes now a GM fighter/sworddorf and took 3 heads in the recent hydra attack, nothing overly awesome in his kills list other than finishing blow on said hydra and a bunch of goblins, but I got 3 FBs wandering the various cavern decks so im gonna try and make him into a legend:)
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squeakyReaper

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #26 on: December 18, 2010, 08:35:32 am »

Urist was the only decent warrior on my newest fort.  Where as my normal military would take crippling wounds, he would not only survive, but kill.  In the latest siege, he was crippled, and for some reason, left outside.  They wouldn't drag him back in.  So he laid out there, and they fed him and watered him where he laid.  When a semi-megabeast Cyclops came along, my new military got slaughtered.  When the Cyclops proded his prone body however, he got what was coming.  He hacked off its arm and shoved it into my moat, leaving it there to bleed.  There is no exit to my moat, but it hadn't been filled with water yet.  Urist sadly died by blood loss after this.  Then the fort was claimed by a siege which happened the day after his death.  But still, we survived that much longer because of him.
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Jacob/Lee

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #27 on: December 18, 2010, 12:25:06 pm »

I have a soldier squad named the Knives of Combating. Each soldier is an expert with his or her weapon and can take on a whole siege by themselves.

shadowform

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #28 on: December 18, 2010, 02:23:32 pm »

I have a soldier squad named the Knives of Combating. Each soldier is an expert with his or her weapon and can take on a whole siege by themselves.
So...  stories?
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Q: What do you get when you take 100 clear glass windows, 1000 silver bars, 6700 gold bars, and 18,000 marble blocks?

A: A very large wall.

"Alright, here's Helltooth... Harborfence... Urist, come get GenericBlade... and you. Welcome to the Danger Room. First timers get good ol' Ballswallowed. Have fun and try not to take off your own toe."

Supersquee

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #29 on: December 18, 2010, 03:11:57 pm »

The problem with finding badassery in DF, is that the standard is so damn high.

You, good sir, just got sigged.

In other news I have just noticed my entire hammerdwarf regiment is dual wielding maces and hammers as well as their shields. Including the soldier who lost her arm in the last, and first, ambush. The story of that ambush is one of woe and victory. My militia captain charged in with her baby, who nobly died biting a goblin's face off. (Literally). The Captain, drawn into a battle frenzy by this, went medieval on the Goblins.

Now, a note on my fortress is that it's set between two deep ravines made by two rivers, so there are steep plunges on either side of the entrance. My Militia captain with the aid of my now one armed mace dwarf herded the attack to the cliff side and slaughtered the Goblins or drove them into the carp infested water below. Now my well is clogged with corpses and blood.
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The problem with finding badassery in DF, is that the standard is so damn high.
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