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Author Topic: Your badass dorfs?  (Read 9877 times)

darkflagrance

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #30 on: December 18, 2010, 04:22:27 pm »

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« Last Edit: December 18, 2010, 04:25:08 pm by darkflagrance »
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The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

Tired of going decades without goblin sieges? Try The Fortress Defense Mod

Dingledodie

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #31 on: December 18, 2010, 10:32:53 pm »

I had a crossbow-dwarf that became a master hammerer after chasing around a one humped camel and slowly bludgeoning it to death over the course of two seasons. So I gave him an Iron hammer. Well after I ordered him to attack a caravan from the mountainhomes (That was an ADD idea: "Can I go to war with my own civ?") but anyways he took joy in slaughter. After he killed a couple merchants and was crippled by a caravan guard he ran into the fortress and started slaughtering the dwarves in the halls. I had a miner at the time named Iton who was casually walking to the next mining designation. All my other dwarves were running, screaming, crying, and cowering. I never sent my military after him because I wanted to see how much havoc he could cause. Also the rest of my military eventually died while fighting with the enraged caravan guards.

So this hammerdwarf is running around hilling farmers. My miner walks by him and without even being provoked, hit the hammerdwarf once, broke two ribs, and mortally wounded the liver, he was aiming for the throat.

After being unconscious for some time the hammerdwarf wakes up and goes back on a killing spree. After killing all of his friends
 and family, and  several pets (Including a War Giant Eagle) he just got bored and started running in circles at the entrance to my farm instead. So all my remaining farmers run in fear from him. In the resulting tantrum spiral several dwarves (including two miners) tried to fight him but all fell before his iron hammer. My last remaining dwarf besides was Iton, who was fairly sane. I had him engrave a hallway and not one image of the preceeding events. So I abandoned.

In the end Maton, the hammerdwarf, had critical injuries in every part of his body. Both hands were crushed, broken, and split open. Almost all of his and internal organs were damaged critically. He had thirty something kills.

Aside from his pig tail fiber clothing, some of which was knocked off of him in combat and everything else he threw on the ground, he had no armour. Just an <+Iron Warhmmer+>

My fortress looked like a reclaim, and what bit of my military survived in the fight with the dwarven caravan also went insane and lingered outside my fortress, killing anyone who tried to escape. In the end Iton was exceptionally happy. Maton was miserable. I was having a dying of epic moment.
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Stoup

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #32 on: December 19, 2010, 09:47:41 pm »

My captain of the Guard, Tulon Asoth Etnarsikel Morul (Tulon Caveknots the Cooperative Hood of Pages), is now really close to becoming a legendary fighter. I'm so excited, I've never really had a military badass in any of my previous fortresses. Not that it matters, since this is the first fortress in which I've actually really needed a military.

He's got 45 kills now, and practically single-handedly took down a goblin pikelord.

Other kills include:
3 trolls,
4 goblins (this includes the pikelord)
16 troglodytes (one of which was a pack of 6+ that he took on all by himself)
12 elk birds
and half a dozen crundles, single handedly.

He weilds a short sword of superior craftsmanship, which only has 6 kills (all by Tulon) since it was only put into service days before the current siege erupted.

Speaking of the current siege, it was the biggest one I've ever faced. Two squads of goblin crushers (hammermen/macemen), a squad of archers, 5 or 6 trolls and several weaponsmasters.

Luckily, I was able to turn TWO of the sqauds away (The archers and macemen) using a retractable bridge. I caught most of the maceman squad with it, there're now 5 goblin corpses rotting in the river. Unfortunately I'm on a warm map, so no Goblinite for me D:

Note to future self: invert direction the retractable bridge closes in. It drowned several goblins, but the pikelord and 3 or 4 fellow goblins got flung onto my side of the river
« Last Edit: December 19, 2010, 09:58:08 pm by Stoup »
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zestorum

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #33 on: December 20, 2010, 12:02:51 am »

My Dorf pales in comparison.
There was a troll in my fort. Only slightly injured from when he fought my woodcutter. He killed about 6 dorfs. My Miner walked up wile the troll was pummeling a dyer, or something, and drove his pick through the troll's skull, killing it in one hit. He then promptly went back to work.

Dwarf 1: Hey, Urist, we have a troll in the fort!
Urist: Again?! This is the the third one this week!
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Jacob/Lee

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #34 on: December 20, 2010, 12:42:50 am »

A baby.


After his mother went insane from a failed mood, little As Bisekezum drop-kicked his mother in the gut, causing her to retch and vomit, then he began punching her with limited effect. The insane mother then grabbed his arm, locked it and shattered it, little As then punched her the left breast, shattering a rib. His mother started swinging at him, but As, with his seemingly Black Ops Baby training rolled, dodged and scrambled about, swiftly avoiding the shots. After having his hand mangled, As dropped his fist like a hammer on his mother's foot, shattering it and making her fall. The mother locked As's shoulder and shattered it, so he jumped up, bit her in the ear and fell, ripping it off with him. After vomiting several times, she got took down by As, who was performing wrestling moves on her and actually succeeding. She broke his grip and kicked him in the head, making him pass out from pain. She approached As with a fist ready, she raised her fist, began to swing and then got dogpiled by several mastiffs and several swordsdwarves. After a long duel, she was finally struck down, and As, despite a good face kicking and being only ten months old, survived the attack.

The Scout

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #35 on: December 20, 2010, 12:58:17 am »

Some kickass commander. She was dressed in mostly steel, with a few bismuth bronze and copper armor pieces. Her spear was steel with atleast a page worth of stuff on it. She married the captain of the crossbow squad. I sent her to the caverns where she killed over 100 random creatures, and about 50 batmen. BadAss moment #1, Elk bird was beating on her pretty badly, but she had a baby, which was quickly beat to death. She then cut every limb off with her SPEAR. A troll had gotten into my danger room and killed about 5 new recruit. Caused everyone but her to beserk. BadAss moment #2. She beat every single one to death, including her husband. Didn't even drop below escatic.(I know I butchered the word.) Survived on the big vault of meat from the stuff she killed until migrants arrived. Game then proceeds to strobe then crash.
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Shelegelah

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #36 on: December 20, 2010, 06:23:24 am »

Now, this isn't about one of my dwarves... It's about an elf.

Hear me out.

After a long and checkered relationship with the elves of Amenili Ilaratha, the dwarves of Crimsonblaze the Fierce Volcano (Yes, I named it myself, and yes, it's in a volcano) decided that it was about time that they had some fun with their elven 'friends'. The next caravan that arrived at Crimsonblaze was welcomed with open arms, invited into the trade depot... and trapped while magma incinerated them and their worthless goods.

The retaliation was swift and brutal. An ambush squad of elves came the very next season, led by some guy I'd never heard of before who had amassed a lengthy title. The dwarves paid him no heed, sending out their strongest spearmaster to face him. His name was Sakzul Strongbreezes the Admired Blockades, and he had the names of three forgotten beasts to his name, as well as countless foolish goblins and one rather clumsy gorilla.

What follows will shock you.

The elf engaged him in glorious spear-warfare, wood against adamantine. The first two blows from each side were artfully parried, sharp points darting and slashing in an attempt to find some kind of weakpoint. And then, the unthinkable happened.

His wooden kapok spear struck Sakzul in the throat, tearing the muscle and fat, severing the spine, and severing nerves, tendons, and ligaments. For all intents and purposes, he was beheaded. This mighty elf, who could only have been an incarnation of whatever fell gods of nature the elves worship in their dark forests, laughed over the fallen body of the mighty dwarven champion, who had slain so many in the name of Armok. He laughed, and his elven ambush squad proceeded to shoot the remnants of my military dead.

It is the only time I have ever been bested by an elf, and now I know why I fear the trees.
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Keldane

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #37 on: December 20, 2010, 04:24:06 pm »

I'm playing a modded version of the game, with a race that I created. My embark has a major river many z-levels below the mostly flat surface level, so I built a staircase down the sheer cliff face and then tunneled in to make my fortress entrance.

I'm in the spring of the second year of this fort, and have established a farm just below the top level of the map, with a tunnel leading to it from the cliffside staircase. My farmer was on her way to the farm plot with a seed when she apparently spotted a kobold thief slinking down the stairs. Her response? Drop the seed, punch the kobold in the ribcage hard enough to force a rib through the heart, tearing it apart, and sending the kobold flying diagonally off the staircase, where it promptly plummeted sixteen z-levels to the bottom of the river and blew apart. No fighting skill, just a badass punch that would have been fatal anyway even if it didn't have an amount of knockback I haven't even been able to manage with a hammer.
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shadowform

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #38 on: December 20, 2010, 04:38:13 pm »

Yes, well...  normally having an untrained farmer give an "I AM A MAN!" punch is pretty badass, but without knowing anything about the race you created that's not saying much.  For all we know you could have modded your game into Dragon Fortress.
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Keldane

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #39 on: December 20, 2010, 04:47:25 pm »

Average strength around that of dwarves, height around that of a human for the farmer in question. No innate fighting skills or anything of that sort, either.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2010, 04:50:26 pm by Keldane »
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sjaakwortel

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #40 on: December 20, 2010, 05:06:21 pm »

My last military commander, a axedwarf. This was no ordinary axedwarf, because he didnt use his axe very often his preferd methode of attack was biting. He bit several enemy's to death and injured the rest with his shield he had about 200 kills when i abandoned(FPS death, fortress defence mod).
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Quote from: Greep on May 08, 2010, 07:55:20 pm
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Wayfarer

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #41 on: December 20, 2010, 08:13:06 pm »

So I had this Fortress that was carved into the stonepillars of the caverns (a design which I LOVE because it restricts the design of my fortress to the shape of the pillars) and connected by constructed walkways in the air. the entire cavern was flooded (except for a tiny spec with enough space for a few 3x3 farm-plots). After two years, a forgotten beast invaded my Fortress: a giant humanooid consisting of flame. It evaporated the water around it constantly. I dreaded the day it would find the ramps up to my farmplots. One day it arrived under one of my walkways, one of my axedwarves just walked on. He just though "Oh well, while I'm here" and jumped down in the 5/7 water near the beast, walked to the monstrosity and killed it with 3 strikes, giving it just enough time to miss my brave warrior. then he walked/swam to the ramp for my farms and walked up again.
He wielded nothing but a wooden training axe.
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AngleWyrm

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #42 on: December 20, 2010, 08:18:59 pm »

My first squad consists entirely of badass dwarves. On purpose. You see, I don't send half-ass immigrant waves to do my battles for me. I clad my troops in solid steel, and train them up until they are axe lords. Only then do I put them on military patrol. And you know what? They always come home.

Best one so far has nineteen kills.
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Hydrall

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #43 on: December 20, 2010, 09:18:40 pm »

Let me tell you all a story. A story about a fortress, and in particular one dwarf.

In the year 201 the king Zulban Kolzefon of the Dwarven civilization Velmorul, on its last legs after years of war against goblins and elves, chose to establish a new outpost, for whatever reasons- It was named Baldpainted, Roderlogem, and in accordance with tradition seven dwarves were sent. One of them, unbeknownst to himself or others, had a life of trial and warfare ahead.

His birth name was Zon Mezbuthfoker, but upon arriving took up his duties as a hunter with such enthusiasm that he earned the nickname 'Daaaugh!'. Zon, not content to stop at simply enough food to supply the fortress, instead went on a grand hunt. Within a few days he ran out of arrows, and so decided to kill everything that remained- Mountain goats, Rhesus Macaques and wolves- with nothing but his oaken crossbow. He never got a scratch.

As time went on, he became the leader of Baldpainted's small militia, training the first three marksdwarves of its army- Useless, Runningdwarf and Sdrawkcab, two recruits and a skilled trainer. Together, they spent time sparring and shooting at the ranges, not believing anything could happen to such a small, sleepy village. Baldpainted grew larger, erecting a ten story tall tower filled with archer slits to show their strength over their moat.

Then, disaster. A group of goblins, armed to the teeth more than necessary for such a small village, led by one Bosa Xosnostrodno, an elite bowman. The little militia prepared for battle, the bridge level mechanisms having been completed too late to help. The ambush struck them by the brook, a Sdrawkcab reacted first, ordering his two recruits to flee while he held them off. He was brought down by two wrestlers, but he shot a swordsman to death before going down.

Runningdwarf turned back to the carnage, horrified, and began to fire on the charging enemies. Bosa shot her in the head, killing her instantly, and the two wrestlers charged towards her corpse, laughing at the carnage. Then came Useless, the prodigal weakling, crying at the death of his best friend and firing on them without mercy. Both wrestlers began to flee, turned into a pincusion by the enraged lover. Bosa killed him as well, shooting him through the legs before casually finishing him off in the back.

By this point, only a spearman, an axeman, the two wounded wrestlers and Bosa himself remained. Zon had been rushing from the tower, cursing the designers for making the path lead back to the fortress before going outside.

He found his three recruits dead on the ground, facing five goblins of various strength. His wife, Fires, was known to remark that he had them outnumbered.

Daaaugh! first shot the axeman, breaking his hand, before firing rapidly into the ambush. When he ran out of ammo, he simply threw away his (Donkey Leather Quiver) and charged, smashing goblins left and right, killing both the axeman and the spearman without damage. Bosa fired at him twice before leaving, realizing that it was foolish to remain. Daaaugh!, his vengeance unsated, chased down the two wrestlers and crushed their skulls, leaving their broken bodies on the mudstone ground.

This was only their first meeting. Twice more did Bosa Xosnostrodno attack Baldpainted- The second time shooting Daaaugh in the hand and leaving the fortress in the hand of his new second, Crowpost the cold sniper, while the injury healed. Several sieges followed, with each one finding it harder and harder to even cause a casualty. Many names come from this time- Logem Ikalushat the swordsdwarf who juggled goblin corpses like rubber balls, Nod the marksdwarf whose killcount exceeded Daaaugh's for a time. He had many children, all of whom shared his strength and their mother's determination.

Then came the third and final meeting of Daaaugh and Bosa, on a chilly winter's morn in early Obsidian, an ominous month to be sure. He came with an army this time, a whole siege- Dozens of wrestlers, swordsmen and axemen, with a bodyguard of three crossbowmen. They marched to the front entrance- Now a massive stone wall and gatehouse enclosing nearly the entire countryside, and called out his nemesis.

First emerged not his nemesis but Nod, with a squad of marksdwarves. Bosa laughed and ordered his men to fire, their skilled hands quickly sending the green marksdwarves into retreat.

Jeering, the goblins chanted to their dark gods, mocking the fortress's cowardice. Bosa called out again, wondering where his old foe could be hiding. But again, no Zon emerged, but Crowpost stepped out, her squad of rangers in tow. This time, Bosa had to fight for it, a long hard battle that nevertheless ended with Crowpost being forced to drag herself off the field.

Now the goblins had worked themselves into a frenzy, swarming around the raised gate in glee. "Come out, Daaaugh!" they called, "or are you simply a tinny hiss?"

Then, finally, did Daaugh himself appear on the walls, wearing his artifact platinum chainmail leggings and artifact iron breastplate. He carried with him the same oaken crossbow, still stained with the blood of goblins, goats and all things. He stood their in silence, fitting an arrow to his bow.

"So, you show yourself!" the goblin called out that day, ready to have one final battle. He began to order his men to fire, when Daaaugh shook his head.

"Didn't you notice, foul one?"

The goblins stared upwards in confusion.

"Not a single dwarf you shot today died. They all were taken to safety by their comrades."

Bosa glared, his pride injured. He opened his mouth to speak, when a great roaring sound rose on the wind, the sound of over forty voices yelling a single word, drowning out the crash of the drawbridge opening to reveal Baldpainted's hidden army.

They screamed, "DAAAUGH!"

Daaaugh fired only one bolt that day, a single bolt guided by Armok himself. That bolt embedded itself in Bosa's brain, but not slaying him- He fell on the field, unconcious and ignored, as around him Baldpainted's ironcald army swarmed and slaughtered, losing not a dwarf. Then, and only then, did Daaugh walk down, limping slightly from his many wounds, and bring down his bow- once, twice, and again- down on Bosa's spine, shattering it, before swinging a mighty blow and propelling the goblin to smash into the river to drown a humiliating death.

Then, tired, Daaaugh returned to the fortress, his old bones tired, to work again what job he'd taken up- Training those who would come after him, training them to hold their shields high with a prayer to Armok on their lips, to not only win but to survive.

He owed the dead that much.
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After seven days and seven nights, God said "Screw this!" and abandoned the fortress.

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The Scout

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Re: Your badass dorfs?
« Reply #44 on: December 20, 2010, 09:41:20 pm »

Best I ever had was some naked woman running around in the cavern with a bismuth bronze spear, murdering everything. That probably goes with the fact not a single one of my 100s of forts lasted 2 years.
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