Inspired by the discovery of magma teleporting piston technology, the dwarves of Calmedrack had a holiday plan. Like most dwarven plans, it took years to come to fruition. As it happened, this particular plan was finally ready to go into action in the springtime, so the dwarves decided to invite the elfs to see the event first hand and even participate in the festivities.
The elfs were directed to a clear glass depot on top of a 63x23x15 urist block of cast obsidian. If they were worried at all by the numerous cages around them, they didn't show it. Probably they were distracted by their distaste for the depot's construction material. (When will they learn that trees are meant to be
used?)
Meanwhile, the dwarves gathered on the observation deck to watch what would come next.
The lower level of the observation deck is a platter of cast obsidian atop a narrow, 15 urist high tower (also of cast obsidian), with clear glass windows providing a panoramic view of the Calmedrack. The way up is a spiral stair, intertwined with a lava channel to form a cozy dwarven double helix of warmth and cheer. This stair continues two urist up from the lower level of the observation deck, now in clear glass. The upper level of the observation deck is floored in clear glass, decorated with olivine, cobaltite, and gold. The top of the lava channel is left open for the enjoyment of those on the upper level. The ceiling is clear glass, rimmed with silver, with a dome of gold and clear glass in the center.
With everyone who was able gathered in the observation tower, it was time for the fun to begin. The first lever was thrown, blocking egress from the great obsidian plateau and raising the ceremonial gold drawbridges providing access to the observation tower.
The elfs looked confused for a moment, and then the second switch was thrown. Their eyes went wide as nine dozen cages of goblins and trolls sprang open around them.
The elfs ran around in a panic, but the gobbos showed little interest in actually attacking them. Fortunately, there were three cages left in reserve on the far right. The third lever was thrown, releasing a hydra and two cyclopses into the mix. They were considerably more active participants in the festivities.
With the great obsidian block properly anointed, it was time for the fourth and final lever. Somewhere far below, supports crumbled, and the great block was sent crashing into the ground, ejecting a carefully crafted lava plume 15 urist high, spelling out a holiday greeting in letters big enough to see from - well, not big enough to see from space, but pretty darn big all the same. The words were legible for but a moment, but they were burned indelibly in the memories of all who saw them.
What happened after that was a chaos of fallen bodies and lava spilling over the land. The dwarves were cut off from the main fortress. The bridges melted. Masterworks were lost in the fiery flood. But the dwarves had food and booze, so the good times continued to roll. For a little while, anyway.
Cheers, everyone.
Author
Topic: An illustrated holiday anecdote (Read 24415 times)