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Author Topic: At the Dawn of Time discussion thread (Need a replacement player!)  (Read 54648 times)

Happerry

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2011, 05:26:35 pm »

City name: Veilhime

Civilization name: The Sidamaru

A race: Goblins. Short, greenish grey skinned creatures with big ears, they live short lives but breed fast, in general equaling out in population with the other races.

A society description: The Sidamaru exist under an age based hierarchy, where the old command the younger by dint of their greater experience. They believe that all items have an innate spirit that can be bargained with, but do not believe in gods per say. They do however, show great respect to the spirits of the Sun, Storms, and Secrets, and consider them to be racial patrons of sorts. They have a class system, but Goblins who show a great enough desire to join another caste may do so if they can convince three senior members of that caste or one elder of each caste to support them. The current castes recognized are those of the Hunter/Warrior, Shaman, Farmer, Crafter/Merchant, Builder, and Leader castes.

A city description: Their city is a collection of dug out pits in the ground covered with animal skins that are supported with wooden frames, and usually exist half underground, half above ground. It was created when a star fell from the sky, and the shamans lead their people to it in pilgrimages. As time went by, some of the pilgrims decided to stay, and the city slowly grew around the temple erected above the crater.

The crater is in the middle of a group of hills, and in the west the hills begin to raise themselves up into mountains. On the north the lands begin to be forested, which clears out as you enter southeastern plains. A river runs from the far north along the east, fading away to the farther east along half way down the city radius zone.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 12:48:50 am by Happerry »
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GENERATION 11: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Vanigo

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2011, 05:35:31 pm »

Nirur Torir: There's some sense to that, I suppose, but I'd be happy to just ignore the issue.

Ochita: Looks okay, but why was your city built?

Happerry: Looks okay to me, but I'd like to point out that caste systems are completely foreign to human stone-age societies. Maybe it's different for goblins for whatever reason, though, so whatever.
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Ochita

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2011, 05:48:57 pm »

I added in forest nearby holds god in their eyes, and good natural resources.
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Happerry

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2011, 05:50:21 pm »

The caste thing can be dropped, and isn't that strict. Its just that each caste group, as a whole, appeals to different spirits, and if you are hunting, people tend to get ticked off if you are spending your morning conducting a ritual of thanks to the farm spirits, rather then the spirits of the animals you are about to kill. Angry ghosts are not viewed as a good thing to have around. The whole approval thing is mainly on proving that you know how to appease the spirits of whatever you want to join. Goblins tend to move around in caste quite frequently, except for the shamans, who tend to be on the rare side.

Also edited in some of the surrounding countryside.
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IronyOwl

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2011, 06:15:07 pm »

City Name:
  Sunstone

Race:
  The Ashara resemble tall, usually attractive humanoids with sharp teeth and claws, long, thin tails and tongues, and a very large pair of leathery wings. Most have beige skin in varying levels of tan, but they possess a staggering variety in hair and eye color. Less obviously, their feet have fairly pronounced digits to help with holding onto surfaces, resembling those of a bird or dinosaur more than those of most humanoids.

Society:
  The Ashara tend to be arrogant and greedy, and their current settlement is no exception. They enjoy owning anything they can, including being owed favors, and so tend to vie for power over anything that could possibly be in question. They have little interest in serious fighting, however, so most disputes are settled by negotiation or brief scuffles to show who's stronger. They also enjoy struggles over symbolic or manufactured gains, and so the concept of a "game" is very well established to them.
  They have no overt caste system, but loose hierarchies tend to emerge based on who has the most "wealth." This might include territory or physical possessions, but also personal ability or favors owed by others. This latter component tends to make wealthy Ashara eager to "help" those in worse positions, in order to raise their own personal standing (and to some extent, invest their current gains); similarly, Ashara tend to be loathe to accept help because doing so lowers their status relative to their benefactor. This focus on favors owned and owed tends to make them honorable, after a fashion- they can't just wriggle out of their debts except by becoming outcasts, and paying back what's owed is the only way to raise one's rank.

City:
  Sunstone was built on a C-shaped cliff overlooking the ocean. While the water is cold at least by comparison, warm winds blow into the bay, allowing the Ashara to drift lazily on the warm updrafts. Given their fondness for fish, the presence of ocean water below was also convenient. They also enjoy clinging to the cliffs, and various natural and intentionally carved hollows allow them to rest more thoroughly. While the more violent winds and storms that sometimes blow in are less universally appreciated, many still enjoy them for one reason or another.
  The location was also fairly convenient with regards to trade and travel, but certainly not the only site available just for that.
  Little of note has transpired since its founding, however, aside from the inhabitants realizing they really like it.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2011, 06:20:44 pm by IronyOwl »
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lemon10

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2011, 07:48:07 pm »

Lemon10: What previous village? Why was that one built? I would prefer for your current city to be the first your people have built, but if you've got a story in mind I won't press the point. If you're just thinking "Well, uh, they built a village because, uh... the last one was destroyed!"... then no. Founding your first city is The Most Important Thing That Has Ever Happened. Give me a reason. A real one. If it's not anything special about the city location, then why did your people decide building a city was a good idea?
And deer? WTF? Did the Kaleds look like deer or something? Also, I don't think they'd know the regeneration was just their physiology; I'd expect them to think it was some divine gift. (Actually, could you come up with a different name for your race? Calling them Time Lords... it's a serious flavor mismatch. I'm not crazy about the carbon-copy-from-sci-fi thing, either, to be honest, but if you differentiate them decently I won't fight you over it.)
Yeah, just sunk in that this is supposed to be the first village for their race ever. I will make a better reason for it, ill do some serious editing on my post when i get home (finally got a good idea for city origin and such). I will change them from timelords, and mess with their race as well.
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

adwarf

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2011, 07:51:13 pm »

Is this full ?
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Vanigo

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (Interest check/recruiting)
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2011, 08:08:56 pm »

Yeah, we're up to six people now. These games tend to have dropouts, though, so there may be space later on.
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Vanigo

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2011, 09:08:03 pm »

Ahra, I'm trying to write up your starting position, and I'm finding I just don't know enough about your society. Could you expand your culture some?
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lemon10

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #24 on: February 09, 2011, 12:09:27 am »

Better right? i think mines much better personally now, thanks for making me redo it.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 12:13:02 am by lemon10 »
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

Vanigo

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #25 on: February 09, 2011, 12:50:51 am »

This is better, but a city is quite a bit bigger than one tribe. Were there lots of Tulkeen tribes chased to this one place? And what happened to the shadow? Do they know?
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lemon10

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #26 on: February 09, 2011, 12:58:11 am »

This is better, but a city is quite a bit bigger than one tribe. Were there lots of Tulkeen tribes chased to this one place? And what happened to the shadow? Do they know?
They have been there a while, growing fast due to the the prosperity of the land. Also, it was sorta all the tolkien in the area, and all the other tolkien they encountered got swept up in the exodus from the spirit. They have no clue what happened to the shadow, maybe it died from lack of food, maybe it ascended to a different plane of existence/other world or maybe it just went to hunt easier game. Maybe it will come back and haunt them later, who knows.
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

Vanigo

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #27 on: February 09, 2011, 01:30:02 am »

They have been there a while, growing fast due to the the prosperity of the land. Also, it was sorta all the tolkien in the area, and all the other tolkien they encountered got swept up in the exodus from the spirit. They have no clue what happened to the shadow, maybe it died from lack of food, maybe it ascended to a different plane of existence/other world or maybe it just went to hunt easier game. Maybe it will come back and haunt them later, who knows.
...Okay, if even you can't keep yourself from calling them Tolkien, you need to come up with a different name. One you can keep straight.
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Ahra

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #28 on: February 09, 2011, 10:39:06 am »

expanded society.
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Vanigo

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Re: [AOR-like] At the Dawn of Time (All slots claimed)
« Reply #29 on: February 09, 2011, 11:16:45 am »

That gives me "Respected elders", "Respects all life", and a bunch of fiddly details I don't really care about. What's the big picture? What do they value, and what do they do to get it? What do they distrust?
Also, I'm not setting out to critique people's writing here, but that run-on sentence is just ridiculous.
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