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Author Topic: Dwarf Fortress Jokes  (Read 17178 times)

Aramco

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #45 on: March 14, 2011, 03:34:46 pm »
Wait, I just thought of another good one.

What do you call a creature that eats Dwarves?

A CarnivOre! Get it?
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Quote from: G-Flex on May 29, 2012, 10:34:19 pm
Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".

Starver

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #46 on: March 14, 2011, 04:25:24 pm »
Where's the best room to place a coffin.
At the Dead Centre of the fortress.


Give a dwarf a fish, and he'll eat for a season.  Set a dwarf to fish, and he'll never get around to doing anything else for his whole life.


(An actual haiku, at least by the English ideal of syllables and a season beig mentioned.)
Late spring arrives now
Elves come and barter their goods
Do not offer wood


Dwarven Blues:
Woke up this morning,
  My wife and children are dead.
I said, Wo-o-oke up this morning,
  My wife and chi-i-ildren were dead!
Should be so very sad,
  But had a legendary roast instead.
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Urist is dead tome

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #47 on: March 14, 2011, 08:40:00 pm »
"Ya call that a learning curve. This is a learning curve."
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Double A

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #48 on: March 14, 2011, 10:29:34 pm »
Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: Shut the fuck up and get back to hauling.

Quote from: Taricus on February 21, 2011, 07:28:02 am
Quote from: yaklin on February 21, 2011, 07:24:56 am
In America, you are adopted by cats, in Soviet Fortress, cats adopted by you!
Fixed

No, he had it right. Cats adopt dwarves. Don't believe me? Start a new expedition on a 2x2 area with all your points invested into cats and watch the bottom of the screen.
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Please, take a moment of silence for all the venerable old threads rendered unintelligible by the Great Photobucket Dickification of 2017. So much was lost.

Alkhemia

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #49 on: March 15, 2011, 01:27:20 am »
Quote from: Starver on March 14, 2011, 04:25:24 pm
Where's the best room to place a coffin.
At the Dead Centre of the fortress.
You mine if I put this in my sig?
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"Hiken: Tsubame-Gaeshi" -Sasaki Kojirou (Grand Order}

"Please touch me. Without lying, wherever you want to touch. That is my wish." - Kiyohime (Grand Order)

"Tyranny, violation, genocide. Those are the things that I detest above all else." - Amakusa Shirou Tokisada (Grand Order)

Starver

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #50 on: March 15, 2011, 06:16:39 am »
Quote from: Alkhemia on March 15, 2011, 01:27:20 am
Quote from: Starver on March 14, 2011, 04:25:24 pm
Where's the best room to place a coffin.
At the Dead Centre of the fortress.
You mine if I put this in my sig?

I'll mine regardless.  It's the best way to get stone and space and !!FUN!!.

(i.e., feel free, and I'm just being a spelling/typing-Nazi for humorous effect.  To which end, you may also paraphrase that with "Center", instead, if that's your local variant.)
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GaxkangtheUnbound

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #51 on: March 15, 2011, 03:39:11 pm »
I'll make you claw your eyes out.
Bring some brain bleach while you're at it.
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Proud of my heritage.
Prepare to lose your sanity.

Alkhemia

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #52 on: March 15, 2011, 04:12:06 pm »
Quote from: GaxkangtheUnbound on March 15, 2011, 03:39:11 pm
I'll make you claw your eyes out.
Bring some brain bleach while you're at it.
greatest thread ever.
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"Hiken: Tsubame-Gaeshi" -Sasaki Kojirou (Grand Order}

"Please touch me. Without lying, wherever you want to touch. That is my wish." - Kiyohime (Grand Order)

"Tyranny, violation, genocide. Those are the things that I detest above all else." - Amakusa Shirou Tokisada (Grand Order)

Elvisdogs

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #53 on: March 15, 2011, 08:48:19 pm »
Who you gonna call when you need to take out a dragon?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Barbarossa TSG on August 18, 2012, 04:08:45 pm
It was for a film project. I regret nothing.

Aramco

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #54 on: March 15, 2011, 08:54:58 pm »
Quote from: Elvisdogs on March 15, 2011, 08:48:19 pm
Who you gonna call when you need to take out a dragon?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I don't get i- Oh, those drunks. The overpowered ones.
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Quote from: G-Flex on May 29, 2012, 10:34:19 pm
Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".

Genoraven

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #55 on: March 16, 2011, 01:23:52 am »
Quote from: Aramco on March 14, 2011, 03:34:46 pm
Wait, I just thought of another good one.

What do you call a creature that eats Dwarves?

A CarnivOre! Get it?

It's funny because the dwarfs gets dead.
Logged
Quote from: Aqizzar on January 27, 2010, 04:31:15 am
Quote from: James.Denholm on January 27, 2010, 12:42:01 am
Urist McPeasant cancels point and laugh at Philosopher - Philosopher no longer exists.
Philosopher cancels job: abstractualize existence: interrupted by personal nonexistence.

Angel Of Death

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Re: Dwarf Fortress Jokes
« Reply #56 on: March 16, 2011, 01:58:43 am »
What's black and white and red all over? A burning elf.

What goes *SHHHK, SPLAT*? A whip and a dwarf.
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99 percent of internet users add useless, pulled out of arse statistics to their sig. If you are the 1%, please, for the love of Armok, don't put any useless shit like this in your sig.
Hidden signature messages are fun!
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