Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: Proud of my novice marksdwarf  (Read 2466 times)

ledgekindred

  • Bay Watcher
  • Oh Boy, Microcline
    • View Profile
Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« on: March 01, 2011, 10:45:51 am »
I had a bunch of fairly useless migrants come in, but one had some meagre archery skills, so I made him a hunter.  I figured why not, the only thing my other hunter's ever brought in have been useless ducks and geese, so if nothing else he'll train up marksdwarf skills while sneaking up on ducks.  (At least the geese are large enough to butcher.)

So what's the next thing I see this guy doing?  Hauling a friggen alligator corpse into the butcher shop.  With Novice hunting-related skills.  Then another.  And then a third.  The guy has some natural talent I guess.

"Huh, I think this end is where I hold it, that end is where the bolt goes out.  Whoah!  Big scaly thing with teeth running towards me!  *twang*  Hey it stopped running.  Better haul it back.  Doop de doop, back out.  Hey look at that, another teeth guy!  *twang*  By Armok, these guys are easy.  This is kinda fun."  Pure, unadulterated dorf.

edit: My "main" hunter has at least Competent skills in Archery, Ambush, Armor Use, Dodging, Masonry, Glassmaking and Diagnosis.  And he spends his time hunting with his pet chicken and pet yak.  I have no idea if chickens and yaks can learn "ambushing."  I like to think he uses them as bait.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2011, 11:06:43 am by ledgekindred »
Logged
Quote from: Starhero on February 11, 2012, 10:31:23 am
I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
Quote from: Kestrel on April 23, 2011, 08:12:44 pm
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

Kamamura

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2011, 11:35:19 am »
Chicken are deadly and vicious hunters.

Clickety-chuckity-clack!
Peck the ogre in the back!
Logged
Quote from: cephalo on January 22, 2012, 08:13:37 pm
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

PopeRichardCorey

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2011, 12:02:48 pm »
Quote from: Kamamura on March 01, 2011, 11:35:19 am
Chicken are deadly and vicious hunters.

Clickety-chuckity-clack!
Peck the ogre in the back!


Dwarves, once they have the ability to use paper, are going to have the best childrens' books ever.
Logged
Quote from: Girlinhat on February 20, 2011, 01:01:53 am
And when you build your fortress walls from the bones of skeletal elephants, slain my weapons forged from melted goblin plunder, fed on cattle that graze on grass that blinks.  Then, you will know dwarfdom.

twwolfe

  • Bay Watcher
  • Likes ponies for their cuteness
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2011, 12:10:41 pm »
Quote from: Kamamura on March 01, 2011, 11:35:19 am
Chicken are deadly and vicious hunters.

Clickety-chuckity-clack!
Peck the ogre in the back!

cock a doodle doo!
Rip the ogre in two!
Logged
Quote from: Cotes on March 11, 2011, 02:02:55 pm
There are dwarves that are nothing but useless sacrifices - Miners are not one of them.

ledgekindred

  • Bay Watcher
  • Oh Boy, Microcline
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2011, 12:39:52 pm »
Lorbam wants to go hunting!
But Lorbam has no dog, what will he do?

Lorbam sees Yak.
Come hunting with me Yak!

Yak says This will be fun!
But what about my friend, Chicken?

Lorbam says Chicken can come too.
Yak and Chicken are happy.

Lorbam sees an Ogre!
I will hunt this Ogre!

Lorbam shoots the Ogre in the hand
Severing the body part.

The hand goes sailing away.
Yak and Chicken attack!

Chicken pecks the Ogre in the foot
Severing a nerve.

The Ogre cannot stand!
Oh no, Ogre!

Yak gores the Ogre in the head
Crushing the skull and driving it into the brain.

The Ogre dies.

Hooray say Yak and Chicken!
That was fun.

Lorbam and Yak and Chicken love hunting.
Maybe you will love hunting too?
Logged
Quote from: Starhero on February 11, 2012, 10:31:23 am
I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
Quote from: Kestrel on April 23, 2011, 08:12:44 pm
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

bucket

  • Bay Watcher
  • i am a bucket.
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2011, 12:40:54 pm »
Hickory dickory dock,
The elf ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And the elf was drowned in magma.
WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED
Logged

Lamphare

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2011, 01:55:42 pm »
wild yak could be as tall as two metres, so i guess it would make a great disguise.
the hunter just need to crouch under the belly of that huge thing, and wait...
« Last Edit: March 01, 2011, 01:59:09 pm by Lamphare »
Logged

imperium3

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2011, 02:21:16 pm »
"Urist "Alligator" McDundee at your service..."
Logged
Quote from: Niyazov on May 12, 2012, 11:59:06 am
Socks inspire the same sort of emotions in dwarfs that Helen of Troy inspired in the Achaean Greeks. Although it is said that Helen's face launched a thousand ships, socks have surely launched a million ultimately-fatal Store Owned Item tasks.

Urist McBusDriver

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2011, 02:56:21 pm »
Quote from: ledgekindred on March 01, 2011, 12:39:52 pm
Lorbam wants to go hunting!
But Lorbam has no dog, what will he do?

Lorbam sees Yak.
Come hunting with me Yak!

Yak says This will be fun!
But what about my friend, Chicken?

Lorbam says Chicken can come too.
Yak and Chicken are happy.

Lorbam sees an Ogre!
I will hunt this Ogre!

Lorbam shoots the Ogre in the hand
Severing the body part.

The hand goes sailing away.
Yak and Chicken attack!

Chicken pecks the Ogre in the foot
Severing a nerve.

The Ogre cannot stand!
Oh no, Ogre!

Yak gores the Ogre in the head
Crushing the skull and driving it into the brain.

The Ogre dies.

Hooray say Yak and Chicken!
That was fun.

Lorbam and Yak and Chicken love hunting.
Maybe you will love hunting too?
You, sir, win an Internet.
Logged
Quote from: Buttery_Mess on February 17, 2011, 10:53:02 am
Of course, since he doesn't actually walk around counting things, we can only assume that bookkeeping time is spent in deep meditation, psychically sensing exactly how many piles of orthoclase there are. It takes a while to hone a skill like that.

MasterofYoda

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2011, 02:35:39 am »
Ledgekindred, you have woken my wife and my neighbors, and none of them understand why I'm crying.
Logged

Ace_Warbringer

  • Bay Watcher
  • Swords For Everybody!
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2011, 09:29:35 am »
Quote from: bucket on March 01, 2011, 12:40:54 pm
Hickory dickory dock,
The elf ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And the elf was drowned in magma.
WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED

Urist McSchoolteacher
"...And thats how we get rid of Hippies children."
Logged
Quote from: Callista on November 09, 2012, 02:11:39 am
Though maybe that's the issue. The concept is just too simple for the dwarven mind to grasp!

Kellaris

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2011, 10:18:22 am »
Makes me want to make a fort based on this http://www.history.com/shows/swamp-people
Logged

DeathDomino

  • Bay Watcher
  • Just add Magma.
    • View Profile
Re: Proud of my novice marksdwarf
« Reply #12 on: March 02, 2011, 01:14:29 pm »
Quote from: bucket on March 01, 2011, 12:40:54 pm
Hickory dickory dock,
The elf ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And the elf was drowned in magma.
WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED

sigged :D
Logged
Quote from: bucket on March 01, 2011, 12:40:54 pm
Hickory dickory dock, The elf ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And the elf was drowned in magma.
WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED