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Author Topic: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War  (Read 4284 times)

Cespinarve

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Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« on: March 07, 2011, 11:43:35 am »

NEwly genned world, 1050 years of history, and to my amusement and horror there is a war that has been running since 163, the War of Cobras. Apparently the central dispute was over "truthfulness", which seems to be far too vague a reason to keep a conflict going this length. Of particular note is "in 1049, the 347th Pillaging of Gorgefeeds occurred". In fact, in the last fifty years Gorgefeeds has been pillaged 17 times, several times twice in a year. The first battle of the war saw the death of eight elves and two grizzly bears. Never forget, friends.
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Nice one, not sure when I'll be feeling like killing a baby but these things are good to know.
This is why we can't have nice things... someone will just wind up filling it with corpses.
Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife — chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Taricus

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Re: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2011, 11:51:47 am »

We shall remember our comrade bears forever.
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darkflagrance

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Re: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2011, 12:17:30 pm »

The humans were angry because the elves were lying about the reason why they went to war.

The elves claimed it was for reasons of morality, when really they had grown tired of drooling at the thought of human-meat roasts.
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...as if nothing really matters...
   
The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

Tired of going decades without goblin sieges? Try The Fortress Defense Mod

TheYeIIowDucK

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Re: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2011, 02:03:27 pm »

Go humans!
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Cespinarve

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Re: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2011, 08:32:29 pm »

No, I think they were fighting goblins or demon hordes or something. PRobably a mix.
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Nice one, not sure when I'll be feeling like killing a baby but these things are good to know.
This is why we can't have nice things... someone will just wind up filling it with corpses.
Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife — chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Cruxador

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Re: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2011, 10:27:47 pm »

The war started due to lying bastards. It kept going because the other dudes killed a bunch of our buddies.
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Hummingbird

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Re: Oh, Oh, Oh It's a LOVELY War
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2011, 12:04:42 am »

Centuries-long wars and the absurd number of pillagings happen because of a combination of changes that happened during the population and sprawl rewrites:

a) Armies winning a siege against a site seldom ever destroy it, pillaging it instead. This happens even when the defending population of the site has been reduced to zero during or before the attack.

b) An entity can wage war against another every week, instead of every year as before the population rewrite.

Basically what happens is that after an attacking civilization kills off all of its enemy civilization's soldiers (which happens often because DF wars are almost always one-sided), the victors keep on attacking the now-defenseless sites. This can theoretically happen as often as every week.

It seems that the game has never had a concept of the end of the existence of a civilization except in terms of the destruction of its sites. In previous versions, when an entity became unable to defend its sites, it was "properly" annihilated because all of its sites were destroyed by invaders and turned into ruins. But because sites are only rarely destroyed in recent versions, the game can't know that the entity is essentially (from our point of view) eliminated, and so the other entities can't know to stop attacking them. After a certain time, these armies are just sieging and pillaging sites of civilizations whose citizens have been killed off long ago. It's as if 21st-century Greece still regularly sent its armies to attack Troy.

The system is obviously borked (though surprisingly few people talk about this flaw), but I like to think of these pillaging expeditions as a ritualized march, a tradition desperately cherished by once-warmongering nations forever unable to come to terms with the era of peace in which it finds itself.
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But Elves aren't Vegetarians. They eat people.
So they are humanitarians.