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Author Topic: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...  (Read 11088 times)

noodle0117

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If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« on: April 05, 2011, 05:40:10 pm »

What would it be?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2011, 05:42:33 pm »

Probably mason/mechanic/engraver.
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woose1

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2011, 05:57:10 pm »

Cheesemaker.
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Byakugan01

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2011, 06:22:37 pm »

Marksdwarf. A Smart one.
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2011, 06:37:14 pm »

Noble. I would be smart and only mandate things like wooden barrels, beds, maybe some furniture for my room if the moronic fortress overseer had me still sleeping in the corridors with the haulers or stuck me in a 1X1 closet or something.
Maybe a private dining room to escape the insanity of other dwarves.
And when I have the trust of the overseer, a bridge and lever in an area that has a farm, a still, maybe a well, maybe a kitchen, a dining room, and at least one bedroom. When danger strikes, and the fort is doomed, I run to the safe area with any family and maybe friends I have, snag a pick if I didn't hide one in there yet, pull the lever, and wait.
If the danger passes, I will reclaim the fort. If not, I will die of old age in the hidey-hole.

Either way, I will pray the overseer did not link the lever up to flood the hideaway with magma.
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JohnieRWilkins

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2011, 07:12:18 pm »

Woodcutter. The name of my copper axe would be "elf tears."

To the wood liking noble, stay away from glaciers. Treeless embarks will be your downfall.
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Bdthemag

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2011, 07:13:17 pm »

Soapmaker, I would show up to forts and get the overseer really angry.
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Vandersleld

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2011, 07:54:30 pm »

Weapon- or armor smith. Highly valued profession, minimum risk. And I'd get to make cool stuff.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #8 on: April 05, 2011, 08:00:25 pm »

To the wood liking noble, stay away from glaciers. Treeless embarks will be your downfall.
Then wood would suddenly be trimmed from the list of smart mandates, now wouldn't it?
Come to think of it, glaciers would be a bad place to go to, period.
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darkrider2

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2011, 08:09:28 pm »

Drunk

oh wait that's everyone.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2011, 08:26:44 pm »

Artifact creator. I get the best care. Better than nobility.

breadbocks

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2011, 08:50:54 pm »

Chef, probably. My food is actually edible, which is a lot more than others can say, and it doesn't involve being near magma or water.
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Jake

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2011, 09:12:06 pm »

Brewer. No fort can ever have too many of them.
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Never used Dwarf Therapist, mods or tilesets in all the years I've been playing.
I think Toady's confusing interface better simulates the experience of a bunch of disorganised drunken dwarves running a fort.

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NW_Kohaku

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2011, 09:23:55 pm »

Probably something like engraver, potter, or one of the other crafters who basically just get set to do whatever for all time, and then get ignored because they are creating valuable works or decorating things, rather than doing the heavy lifting.

I honestly prefer the more mental labors, but the only thing that really fits in that category (besides being the broker, which is a temporary job) is bookkeeper, which is kind of a crummy job, so the best job I could settle for would be one where at least I get to be as creative as possible.

Plus, if I'm making engravings or clay statues, I can do things like make an engraving of the mayor (whose hated vermin is spiders) being eaten by hordes of spiders on every wall of his/her bedroom.
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Niyazov

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2011, 10:35:46 pm »

DUNGEON MASTER

- everyone would be thrilled when I show up, which is more than you can say for other nobles and migrants
- I would get to chill with awesome beasts like giant scorpions and war mandrills
- no assigned labor, just going around forging weapons or taming dragons whenever the mood strikes me
- I would get to run around naked except for a cloak and nobody would dare say a thing
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