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Author Topic: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...  (Read 11089 times)

Geb

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #30 on: April 06, 2011, 01:33:47 pm »

DUNGEON MASTER

- everyone would be thrilled when I show up, which is more than you can say for other nobles and migrants
- I would get to chill with awesome beasts like giant scorpions and war mandrills
- no assigned labor, just going around forging weapons or taming dragons whenever the mood strikes me
- I would get to run around naked except for a cloak and nobody would dare say a thing

I was going to say farmer/planter, just to go for the low risk option - way too valuable to be sent outside and never going to fail a mood...

but yeah, Dungeon Master is obviously the right answer. No contest.
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Blade Master Model 42

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #31 on: April 06, 2011, 02:58:06 pm »

Designated Lever Puller. I would get to do nothing more strenuous than wander through the fort, yanking levers, activating floodgates and danger rooms, etc.

And just think of all the fine traps I'd get to admire!

JohnieRWilkins

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2011, 03:43:01 pm »

This is actually a brilliant experiment on df forumers and risk averse behavior. Risk averse behavior found.
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Blade Master Model 42

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2011, 07:29:57 pm »

This is actually a brilliant experiment on df forumers and risk averse behavior. Risk averse behavior found.

Well, naturally. Your average Dwarf Fortress has about a 65% mortality rate (Assuming you're not saying abandonment means all your dorfs died.)
Naturally, if you could become a member of a fortress community, self-preservation would be a major priority.
Miner/soldier.

Lasher cancels ambush: Nose picked.

...Well, for most.

JohnieRWilkins

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #35 on: April 06, 2011, 08:34:13 pm »

Actors have a 100% mortality rate in the long run. If you don't take risks with your life, then have you really lived?

What ever happened to glory and death?
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- But honestly, if you think
If we could miniaturize things, we would have everybody wielding drawbridges and utterly atomizing

Blade Master Model 42

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2011, 08:54:19 pm »

Actors have a 100% mortality rate in the long run. If you don't take risks with your life, then have you really lived?

What ever happened to glory and death?

Death is permanent, in most cases.

Glory is always, eventually, forgotten. If it's glory AND death, I'll skip it, unless I'd die either way. Life is okay, and for all I know, dying sucks.

...Of course, if death is your only recourse, and you have the ability to meet it head-on with a flaming sword in one hand and a smokin' hot broad in the the other, hells yeah to that.

NW_Kohaku

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2011, 09:36:11 pm »

Actors have a 100% mortality rate in the long run. If you don't take risks with your life, then have you really lived?

What ever happened to glory and death?

Death is permanent, in most cases.

Glory is always, eventually, forgotten. If it's glory AND death, I'll skip it, unless I'd die either way. Life is okay, and for all I know, dying sucks.

...Of course, if death is your only recourse, and you have the ability to meet it head-on with a flaming sword in one hand and a smokin' hot broad in the the other, hells yeah to that.

... In that case, you should be an el-  umm... goblin.

Anyway, I'd like to point out I picked "engraver" because I figured being able to make artwork all day was probably the least "boring drudgery" type of job I could take in a world where I lived in a cave wearing the same clothes every day, smeared with blood and vomit.  (Which is totally unlike how I live in the real world - I usually change my clothes after they get smeared with blood and vomit so I don't mess up my pretty cave.)
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #38 on: April 06, 2011, 09:39:32 pm »

Anyway, I'd like to point out I picked "engraver" because I figured being able to make artwork all day was probably the least "boring drudgery" type of job I could take in a world where I lived in a cave wearing the same clothes every day, smeared with blood and vomit.  (Which is totally unlike how I live in the real world - I usually change my clothes after they get smeared with blood and vomit so I don't mess up my pretty cave.)

Admit it, you just want to carve a masterwork in the very center of a dining hall, then carve you engraving said masterwork on the tile next to it, and carve yourself engraving that one on the tile next to it, and so on until the floor and walls of the dining room are covered with a chain of you engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving yourself engraving a hoary marmot.

It's what I'd do.
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Zaerosz

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #39 on: April 06, 2011, 10:04:27 pm »

Plant gatherer. Mainly because that's about the only DF job I'm any good at besides hauling. I have experience - we have a pretty big garden behind our house, and sometimes I go out and collect chestnuts when I'm bored.
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Stormfeather

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #40 on: April 06, 2011, 10:34:32 pm »

Possibly a hunter, since it'd actually get me out of the nasty cave filled with smelly water-averse dwarves and into the open air most of the time. And possibly working with animals, which I like, since I usually have my hunters as animal handlers/trainers as well.

Fisher would be another good choice - same outdoorsiness, not working with animals (except dead fish), but also not as risky.
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slothen

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #41 on: April 07, 2011, 12:55:09 am »

Specialized metalworker, preferably armorer.  Highly skilled profession of great importance to overseer.  Basically get to do whatever all day except occasionally make a few armor suits.
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noodle0117

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #42 on: April 07, 2011, 07:54:52 am »

Fisher would be another good choice - same outdoorsiness, not working with animals (except dead fish), but also not as risky.
Quote of a typical inexperienced fisherdwarf until he sees carp.
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Ethicalfive

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #43 on: April 07, 2011, 09:34:22 am »

Fisher Dwarf! No heavy lifting, get to lay on the bank of a river, pond or lake and chill while I wait for a bite. Sure theres risks involved being outside, but then, theres still plenty of indoor risks, like magma, flooding, forgotten beasts, tantrum spirals, colapses,clowns. So atleast I wouldn't be slaving away not enjoying life before I get snuffed out.
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Alluvian_Est-Endrati

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Re: If you could have any job in a typical dwarven fortress...
« Reply #44 on: April 07, 2011, 09:39:03 am »

Engraver. Someone needs to remind all the other dwarves about how dangerous Elephants and Carp are. Nothing like a picture of a dwarf making a plaintive gesture to a bronze colossus, surrounded by dead dwarves, to really know you are special. Also one must need to remind other dwarves of their fears of night creatures and of things they hate, like giant cave spiders, lest they forget how to live.
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