Been thinking about this all day instead of teaching about 3 and 4 energy level lasers....
Commerical: The Life of Urist.
Black screen. Voice over: "Every world is full of stories..."
Fade into shot of dwarven sperm cell swimming towards dwarven ovum, fertilizing it.
Voice Over: "Stories of great deeds by legendary heroes"
Series of cuts to stages of dwarven fetus developing.
"Stories of strong kings and mighty nations"
Shot of fully grown fetus as waters break.
"Stories of greed, revenge, honor and love"
Cut away to birth scene - mother is working in forge, and has slight abdominal twinge. She gives a slight push, and the baby drops between her legs and lets forth a newborn scream. Mother looks dismissivly at the baby whilst finishing forging a bronze bar, then picks it up ("I shall call you Urist"). Mother walks out into typical dwarven corridor of rough stone. Camera pans down rough stone hallway, showing firstly a young woodcutter who examines the new baby strapped to Mumwith a sneer before carrying on his wood hauling job (thats Dad), and secondly to a young recruit (Tholtig) being inducted into a squad with some basic drill - he is being handed a wooden shield and wooden training axe by an old, corpulent and scarred drill sgt.
"This isnt that type of story"
Flash forward cut to Urists baby years. He is bawling while strapped to Mum who is heavily drunk and being propped up Dad - both are partying in the drinking hall, rammed full of partying Dwarves. Engravings of cheese, elves being stabbed, elephants on fire and dwarves being eaten by beasts line the walls which are visible in the background. Urist's Mum staggers away from the party to pacify her child in a quite dwarven way - she goes to her forge, and Urist calms down when he sees the product of her work - some steel bars, visible in the glint in his eyes as a reflection.
Flashforward cut to Urist's toddler years. Urist is playing hide and seek/chase with female friend (Mebsuth) in cavern, hiding behind fungitrees/caverny scenery. Urist loses sight of his pal and goes a-seeking... Urist passes a squad of Rookie axedwarves engaged in combat with a GCS, which has one screaming and bleeding recruit bitten in half in his mandibles white the others dodge legs, looking for an opening to attack. Tholtig is involved in the fight, and he can be seen blocking a spider attack and hacking his distinctive steel axe with ruby studs into a leg. Urist surveys the scene impassivley and carries on looking for Mebsuth, unmoved by such a normal scene of cavern activity.
Flashforward to Urist's child years. Urist is running with a group of children to a surface farm within a fortified wall. Lining the wall and by a gatehouse are some sleeping soldiers, with a few rookies vomiting in the sunlight. Tholtig and a few other veterans can be seen finding this quite funny. The walls by the gatehouse are spattered with blood. Urist and his pals run helpfully to a berry plot, and assist an old, weathered farmer in picking some plantsto haul back undergorund. In the background a sneaking goblin thief comes into veiw by the gatehouse... and steps on a previoulsy unseen trap, causing several serrated blades to spring into veiw, which make the unfortunate thief explode into a burst of gore and body parts. Urist looks over at this, apprently unmoved, as some scruffy looking dwarves rush over to pick through the dead thief's belongings.
Flashforward to Urist's teenager years. urist is on a date with a Mebsuth, at the statue garden/zoo. Statues of mad things (dwarves terrified of monkeys, humans having legs ripped off, and cages of gorlaks etc) pass by as they stroll hand in hand. A naked lunatic runs by babbling, but they pay no notice. Squad of verteran looking (eye patches, scars, odd missing limb) axedwarves rush past the doorway, but Tholtig stops and yells to Urist - there are goblins aboveground, and Urists father is out woodcutting. Camera pans to follow them to exterior shot, where some distance from the fort Urists dad is cutting down some mighty oak. Sneaking unseen through the undergrowth is a small squad of bowgoblins, the leader of which looses one arrow through the woodcutters midsection. He slumps to his knees, bleeding from wound and mouth, as the axedwarves burst on the scene, killing with brutal efficiency. We see Tholtig remove the head of the goblin leader, and he sptis into it. Urist arrives as a run to find dead gobbs all around, limbs in trees etc, and his dead dad circled by the axedwarves. Urist removes a sock from his fathers body and returns towards the fortress, clutching the sock.
Flashworward to young adult. Urist is working as a miner in a deep shaft. Close up to show his face as he works - dirty brow, sweaty beard. One swing of the pick, then he hesitates as we see a special blue reflection illuminate his face. Urist drops his pick and runs back up to the fort screaming in joy past groups of idle dwarves, yelling into the bustling drinking hall, and running along corridors showing workshops engaged in typical scences - gem worker adding spikes to loincloths, butcher selcting a cat from a bin of hundreds of kittens, animal trainer cramming another dog into a cage already containing hundreds - all stop as they hear Urist's news. He runs towards a noblemans well appointed room (engravings of usual random vilonce, statues, troll in cage, platinum furniture) where the fat Baron (Sarvesh) in purple robes is in heated discussion with an Elf. Urist bursts in, ignoring the protestations of Tholtig who was on gaurd at the door. Urist interrupts the meeting in progress, pushing elf out of way to inform Baron Sankis of his discovery. Baron Sankis is joyful, sheds a tear onto a parchment on his desk and embraces Urist, who is paraded aloft by dorfs to a massive party in the great hall.
Flashforward to older adult. Urist is on break in his spartan quarters, with his wife Mebsuth (cradling thier baby child) . Suddenly, a huge demonic noise fills air. Urist rushes to the great hall along with dozens of other dwarves, where Baron Sankis, visibly panicing, is shouting to the assembled masses about "mining accident" in bluemeal vein... military veterans in bluemtal gear start handing out worn eqpt and rushing all able bodied males to the fray. Tholtig hands urist a worn looking bone corssbow, a dented copper helm and a wooden shield. Dorfs all around including Urist embrace loved ones as they are ushered to fight. Pan way to number of huge demons emerging from a main access staircase, destroying architecture, flinging fighters around, biting, smashing etc as dorfs hack away at limbs, and others firing bolts in great clouds at thier heads. Zoom in to a terrified Urist (who is part of a squad of dwarves in a box formation) taking shelter behind shield and taking potshots with bone crossbow. Pan out as large demon that was the focus of Urist's squad attention succumbs to injuries and noise dies away. Scences of devestation are all around - smashed workshops, corpses etc. Urist and 3 survivors in various states of wounding/sanity survey the scene, and turn to go back to hall where women children were. There is a towering and smouldering dead demon in hall, and bodies all around, and a few dwarves maddened by what they have seen curled up fetal babbling nonsence... but Urist finds his wife and child unharmed. They embrace. The small band of survivors assemble around Urist, looking to him for leadership. He drops his military gear, turns a table to stand back upright, pulls out a flask, and sits to drink in amongst the devastation.
Voice over: "Not all stories have happy endings"
Fade to black. Caption: Dwarf Fortress. Availiable 30th Feb 20X6. Losing has never been so much fun.
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Topic: Dwarf Fortress Commercials (Read 20523 times)