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Author Topic: Close Calls  (Read 8591 times)

GhostDwemer

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Close Calls
« on: April 11, 2011, 10:37:40 pm »

Okay, so this was a classic close call. One of my guards, fully clothed in adamantine, goes berserk after failing a strange mood down in my magma forges. No problem, I lock him in the workshop until the rest of the military gets there, he's not the very best, so he should go down. Then a dwarf caravan shows up. And immediately after, a siege shows up. I can't activate my lever activated upright spikes and drop bridges until the traders get past, and the military is ALL down in the deeps. The last trader gets past the trap hall right as the first squad of trolls hits my welcome mat traps. I queue the pull jobs, and everything activates right as the trolls hit the traps. It's just a massive sausage factory, nobody gets more than 2/3 the way through, parts are flying everywhere, the two elite goblins in the siege don't make it two steps before dodging right off the edge and slamming into my masterwork menacing spikes twelve z-levels below. I was sending the military through to mop up before the traders were even done unloading.

So, what has been your closest call in the game?
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Necro910

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2011, 11:15:08 pm »

Okay, so this was a classic close call. One of my guards, fully clothed in adamantine, goes berserk after failing a strange mood down in my magma forges. No problem, I lock him in the workshop until the rest of the military gets there, he's not the very best, so he should go down. Then a dwarf caravan shows up. And immediately after, a siege shows up. I can't activate my lever activated upright spikes and drop bridges until the traders get past, and the military is ALL down in the deeps. The last trader gets past the trap hall right as the first squad of trolls hits my welcome mat traps. I queue the pull jobs, and everything activates right as the trolls hit the traps. It's just a massive sausage factory, nobody gets more than 2/3 the way through, parts are flying everywhere, the two elite goblins in the siege don't make it two steps before dodging right off the edge and slamming into my masterwork menacing spikes twelve z-levels below. I was sending the military through to mop up before the traders were even done unloading.

So, what has been your closest call in the game?
Boy, have I got a story to tell.

A pissed off dwarf threw a tantrum next to my bridge. While 90% of my fort was on it. So after all the dwarves eventually died from thirst, I had to deal with a riot of berserk and tantruming dwarves. So after all the lunatics were dead (from thirst, because the army was on the bridge), my last  masons and carpenters built a bridge. Not a bridge, just floored over the gap. Then, I got a bunch of migrants. So after a month, I had 40 dwarves. I was OK, but my people were content. My mayor was just a random guy, auto assigned from the original survivors. So I survived the riots.

So I guessed the worst was over.

A vile force of darkness has arrived! Oh shit. I told my dwarves to pull the lever to the bridge, but... no bridge gears. The trolls kicked down the door, and went through my fortress. I told 10 dwarves to charge at them blindly, with no kills earned (-_-). So after the trolls tore down literally every single building, they got to the dormitory. My mayor (from before) was the last person alive, and was sleeping in the dormitory. He had no military skills, and was asleep, so I literally said, "Well I'm screwed. Goodbye Urist McMayor". The trolls tore down all the bed while the goblins watched, laughing their asses off. The dwarf awoke because he fell out of the deconstructed bed. Not because everyone was screaming, not because buildings were collapsing, not because goblins were laughing near him, not because the door came in with a mighty crash, he awoke from falling out of the broken bed. He got up, and looked at the army. The trolls moved in on him, while the goblins were ready as well. I prepared for the worst.
Spoiler: It was gory. (click to show/hide)
Blood for the Blood God!

kaenneth

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2011, 11:23:30 pm »

Sounds like someone had a case of the Mondays.
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Necro910

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2011, 11:26:29 pm »

Sounds like someone had a case of the Mondays.
Urist: "Ugh, I don't wanna get up"
Troll: "Huh? Rwrrrrrrrr" *breaks bed*
Urist: "I SAID I DON'T WANT TO F***ING GET UP" *tears off troll arm*
Goblin: Oh shit.

Sutremaine

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2011, 11:52:21 pm »

Hit the cavern layer from above right where I was going to put my fortress. Decided to risk building fortress layout there anyway, sending the 12 / 18 dwarves of the fortress down there to get walls up. Took 10 days, and on the day the last wall was built a jabberer came along (a jabberer is, pretty much, a predatory elephant). Luckily it came from the completed side, but I think it could see the walls from where it was.
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dirty foot

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2011, 12:20:03 am »

I haven't really had any close calls yet, because that would imply I actually survived a danger scenario with few casualties. I did, however, have one of the most memorably insane moments in gaming while playing this.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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thijser

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2011, 01:03:43 am »

A troll once smashed a door holding back magma. It started flooding my fortress and I only just managed to wall it up before it reached the central ramps (I don't do stairs).
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Byakugan01

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2011, 01:35:45 am »

A troll once smashed a door holding back magma. It started flooding my fortress and I only just managed to wall it up before it reached the central ramps (I don't do stairs).

Out of curiosity, why not?
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Shook

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2011, 02:45:26 am »

Goodness me, these all make my close calls pale in comparison!

*AHEM*

So, a vile force of darkness arrived. "Oh cool," i thought. Then i saw that it was composed mainly of bowmen and trolls, after which i let out a horrified squeak. My swamp-entrance-with-magma-inator (yeah i like phineas & ferb, keep reading) wasn't finished, so my only hope was my little squad of ironclad dorfs with moderate (read: proficient and below) skills. Although a caravan had arrived and killed some gobs, they went insane (a yak went melancholy too) and died, so that still left me with a sizable opposition. So obviously, with my fort being 100% sealable, i send my squad outside to deal with the siege, fully expecting them to drop like flies. Thing is, only half of them made it out before the gobs got too close for comfort, so i shut the gate and left my half-squad to die. My squad then got jumped by 7 trolls while being on the receiving end of the bow equivalent of a gatling gun. Shortly thereafter, i saw 7 troll corpses and the bowmen running around like headless chickens, due to them being chased by angry midget alcoholics in a martial trance with sharp axes and pointy sticks. I lost a single dorf, which made one of the others unhappy, but he still took the liberty of meticulously chopping the shit out of a goblin, despite the blinking red arrow of anger. Two of the dorfs automatically received titles after the siege.
Long story short, 5 standard soldier dorfs broke a medium-sized siege with only one casualty. I swear, it was glorious. If my squad had died, the siege could have had free reign in my fort, if it wasn't for the gate. Also, got a ton of loot from the dead caravan. :>

And now, for an actual close call.

I got visited by an ettin. "Wee, time to test my traps!" After the etting blundered around and killed some animals (and ruined a pump stack), it finally decided to come to my base. To my horror, I FORGOT TO SHUT THE MAIN ENTRANCE. It then immediately went downstairs and started breaking some grates next to my underground lake. Mind you, i had no military back then (due to overconfidence in the trapped entrance), so i couldn't really kill the thing with military might. "But hey! It's standing next to my 5/7 lake!" i thought. So, i swarm it with recruits in order to make it dodge into the lake. Fortunately, it did. Now obviously, it didn't drown either, but it somehow was totally fine with just chilling in the same spot for months. I then decided to drop the roof on its heads, which, while fatal for the ettin, triggered another, but less critical close call. A miner fell into the goddamn lake, due to the cave-in, and shattered numerous bones, including his skull. He didn't die, but fell unconscious multiple times in the water. Since there was no path to the hospital from there, i ordered one to be dug. Despite being all smashed up, he dug his own way out and waddled to the hospital, where he made an astoundingly fast recovery. Only one dorf, who tried to fistfight the ettin alone, died.

And finally, a shorter one.

I was channelling out a path for some magma to run from a volcano to a forge, so i could smelt like a boss. So, i poke a hole in the volcano, since i read that magma doesn't do pressure, and should fall into the channel just fine. It filled nicely, and OH GOD THE MAGMA KEEPS RISING. As it turned out, i had dug it the wrong way for the lack of pressure to prevent it from flooding. I instantly tell the dorfs to BUILD A FUCKING WALL RIGHT THERE YOU CRAZY BEARDLINGS. Fortunately, they complied in time, though now i have a room flooded completely with lava. The fortress is still prospering to this day.

Is it bad that two of them are due to my own carelessness? :P
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Necro910

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2011, 03:03:38 am »

Goodness me, these all make my close calls pale in comparison!

*AHEM*

So, a vile force of darkness arrived. "Oh cool," i thought. Then i saw that it was composed mainly of bowmen and trolls, after which i let out a horrified squeak. My swamp-entrance-with-magma-inator (yeah i like phineas & ferb, keep reading) wasn't finished, so my only hope was my little squad of ironclad dorfs with moderate (read: proficient and below) skills. Although a caravan had arrived and killed some gobs, they went insane (a yak went melancholy too) and died, so that still left me with a sizable opposition. So obviously, with my fort being 100% sealable, i send my squad outside to deal with the siege, fully expecting them to drop like flies. Thing is, only half of them made it out before the gobs got too close for comfort, so i shut the gate and left my half-squad to die. My squad then got jumped by 7 trolls while being on the receiving end of the bow equivalent of a gatling gun. Shortly thereafter, i saw 7 troll corpses and the bowmen running around like headless chickens, due to them being chased by angry midget alcoholics in a martial trance with sharp axes and pointy sticks. I lost a single dorf, which made one of the others unhappy, but he still took the liberty of meticulously chopping the shit out of a goblin, despite the blinking red arrow of anger. Two of the dorfs automatically received titles after the siege.
Long story short, 5 standard soldier dorfs broke a medium-sized siege with only one casualty. I swear, it was glorious. If my squad had died, the siege could have had free reign in my fort, if it wasn't for the gate. Also, got a ton of loot from the dead caravan. :>

And now, for an actual close call.

I got visited by an ettin. "Wee, time to test my traps!" After the etting blundered around and killed some animals (and ruined a pump stack), it finally decided to come to my base. To my horror, I FORGOT TO SHUT THE MAIN ENTRANCE. It then immediately went downstairs and started breaking some grates next to my underground lake. Mind you, i had no military back then (due to overconfidence in the trapped entrance), so i couldn't really kill the thing with military might. "But hey! It's standing next to my 5/7 lake!" i thought. So, i swarm it with recruits in order to make it dodge into the lake. Fortunately, it did. Now obviously, it didn't drown either, but it somehow was totally fine with just chilling in the same spot for months. I then decided to drop the roof on its heads, which, while fatal for the ettin, triggered another, but less critical close call. A miner fell into the goddamn lake, due to the cave-in, and shattered numerous bones, including his skull. He didn't die, but fell unconscious multiple times in the water. Since there was no path to the hospital from there, i ordered one to be dug. Despite being all smashed up, he dug his own way out and waddled to the hospital, where he made an astoundingly fast recovery. Only one dorf, who tried to fistfight the ettin alone, died.

And finally, a shorter one.

I was channelling out a path for some magma to run from a volcano to a forge, so i could smelt like a boss. So, i poke a hole in the volcano, since i read that magma doesn't do pressure, and should fall into the channel just fine. It filled nicely, and OH GOD THE MAGMA KEEPS RISING. As it turned out, i had dug it the wrong way for the lack of pressure to prevent it from flooding. I instantly tell the dorfs to BUILD A FUCKING WALL RIGHT THERE YOU CRAZY BEARDLINGS. Fortunately, they complied in time, though now i have a room flooded completely with lava. The fortress is still prospering to this day.

Is it bad that two of them are due to my own carelessness? :P
Yes, your tales pale in comparison to Urist McMayor, worlds' greatest noble.

Malarauko

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2011, 03:04:36 pm »

A forgotten beast go through my maze of flyer sealed bridges in the caverns through this one gap I had forgot about. Seeing as a large chunk of my fortress was built into the first cavern this was an immediate threat. He rampaged through this district (the layout was like different areas cut into large outcrops of rock connected by safe pathways through the cavern) and was stopped when my one decent military dwarf named Alpha 1 shot killed him. This was in the room next to a dining room/dorimitory area which housed 75% of my population.
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Shinotsa

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2011, 05:40:57 pm »

Goodness me, these all make my close calls pale in comparison!

*AHEM*

So, a vile force of darkness arrived. "Oh cool," i thought. Then i saw that it was composed mainly of bowmen and trolls, after which i let out a horrified squeak. My swamp-entrance-with-magma-inator (yeah i like phineas & ferb, keep reading) wasn't finished, so my only hope was my little squad of ironclad dorfs with moderate (read: proficient and below) skills. Although a caravan had arrived and killed some gobs, they went insane (a yak went melancholy too) and died, so that still left me with a sizable opposition. So obviously, with my fort being 100% sealable, i send my squad outside to deal with the siege, fully expecting them to drop like flies. Thing is, only half of them made it out before the gobs got too close for comfort, so i shut the gate and left my half-squad to die. My squad then got jumped by 7 trolls while being on the receiving end of the bow equivalent of a gatling gun. Shortly thereafter, i saw 7 troll corpses and the bowmen running around like headless chickens, due to them being chased by angry midget alcoholics in a martial trance with sharp axes and pointy sticks. I lost a single dorf, which made one of the others unhappy, but he still took the liberty of meticulously chopping the shit out of a goblin, despite the blinking red arrow of anger. Two of the dorfs automatically received titles after the siege.
Long story short, 5 standard soldier dorfs broke a medium-sized siege with only one casualty. I swear, it was glorious. If my squad had died, the siege could have had free reign in my fort, if it wasn't for the gate. Also, got a ton of loot from the dead caravan. :>

And now, for an actual close call.

I got visited by an ettin. "Wee, time to test my traps!" After the etting blundered around and killed some animals (and ruined a pump stack), it finally decided to come to my base. To my horror, I FORGOT TO SHUT THE MAIN ENTRANCE. It then immediately went downstairs and started breaking some grates next to my underground lake. Mind you, i had no military back then (due to overconfidence in the trapped entrance), so i couldn't really kill the thing with military might. "But hey! It's standing next to my 5/7 lake!" i thought. So, i swarm it with recruits in order to make it dodge into the lake. Fortunately, it did. Now obviously, it didn't drown either, but it somehow was totally fine with just chilling in the same spot for months. I then decided to drop the roof on its heads, which, while fatal for the ettin, triggered another, but less critical close call. A miner fell into the goddamn lake, due to the cave-in, and shattered numerous bones, including his skull. He didn't die, but fell unconscious multiple times in the water. Since there was no path to the hospital from there, i ordered one to be dug. Despite being all smashed up, he dug his own way out and waddled to the hospital, where he made an astoundingly fast recovery. Only one dorf, who tried to fistfight the ettin alone, died.

And finally, a shorter one.

I was channelling out a path for some magma to run from a volcano to a forge, so i could smelt like a boss. So, i poke a hole in the volcano, since i read that magma doesn't do pressure, and should fall into the channel just fine. It filled nicely, and OH GOD THE MAGMA KEEPS RISING. As it turned out, i had dug it the wrong way for the lack of pressure to prevent it from flooding. I instantly tell the dorfs to BUILD A FUCKING WALL RIGHT THERE YOU CRAZY BEARDLINGS. Fortunately, they complied in time, though now i have a room flooded completely with lava. The fortress is still prospering to this day.

Is it bad that two of them are due to my own carelessness? :P
Yes, your tales pale in comparison to Urist McMayor, worlds' greatest noble.

I read that a long time ago but now I realize. Urist McMayor was none other than Captain Olon Ironblood stopping in to be the mayor at a warmer fortress.
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Necro910

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2011, 05:45:29 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yes, your tales pale in comparison to Urist McMayor, worlds' greatest noble.

I read that a long time ago but now I realize. Urist McMayor was none other than Captain Olon Ironblood stopping in to be the mayor at a warmer fortress.
Who?

Oaktree

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2011, 05:57:30 pm »

I've had a few.

1. A siege arrived.  And then I notice eight trolls pathing not towards my access tunnels, but the hill behind the fortress where I had some secondary walls and tunnels put in to protect my pastures from being used for goblin archery practice.  Turns out that in putting up a few more walls I opened up access across the top of a wall into the tunnels that led into the fort.  (Luckily there was a locked door somewhere on the path since the goblins headed to the tunnels and their eventual slaughter.)

So eight troll go in, pound down a door, and start towards the main part of the fortress.  I have a minimal militia with so-so training, and its mainly marksdwarves.  And they're busy elsewhere.  So I order my sole squad of melee dwarves to armor up and head off the attack.  Two hammer dwarves comply, and they meet the trolls in the tunnel.  Where one dwarf proceeds to destroy the lot of them with some cover help from his partner.  Seven kills and an immediate nickname.

2.  Testing a magma pump stack out.  Levers pulled to open floodgates, power up the pumps, etc.  I start tracking magma coming up the shaft - and then see it going off through a gap I didn't fill after letting a miner out who cut himself off making channels for power transmission.  I manage to get a fireproof door in place and the pumps shut down before the flow reaches the main stairwell and starts flowing down into sensitive areas.  However, an alcohol storage area and associated breakroom were set on fire and the place was off-limits for a while.
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King DZA

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Re: Close Calls
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2011, 06:25:59 pm »

As much as i would love to contribute to this thread, it seems I most often get the opposite of close calls.

What usually happens is I find myself in a situation that I complacently feel I have total control over, right before everything goes to hell and I get completely fucked. Normally something like, "It's alright, I got this", followed by a message along the lines of "Your fortress has crumbled to its end."
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