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Author Topic: What Would Urist Do?  (Read 638665 times)

Bumber

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10185 on: July 03, 2020, 01:19:25 pm »

WWUD after getting a gang tatoo engraving and beginning a life of crime?
FTFY

Team up with other criminally-minded embodiments of fort disasters, including the Water and Magma twins, the Self-destruct Lever, and the dreaded Tantrum Spiral, in order to rob a vault.

WWUD if the Tantrum Spiral's bungling caused the twins to obsidianize the only exit, causing the Self-destruct Lever to get upset and activate?
Logged
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10186 on: July 03, 2020, 05:37:09 pm »

Urist McDestructoid goes on a rampage as the fort self-destructs.

What would Urist McDestructoid do whilst on a rampage?

King Zultan

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10187 on: July 04, 2020, 08:40:11 am »

Collapse the vault into the magma sea.

WWUD if he happened to be near by and saw the vault collapse?
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10188 on: July 04, 2020, 09:39:27 am »

Take off his clothes and go for a magma bath, complaining of being too hot.

WWUD whilst taking a magma bath?

knutor

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10189 on: July 05, 2020, 11:12:21 am »

Urist would open a XXX(lay pewter flask)XXX of nonalcoholic saspirilla, quaff it, and sigh, as it doesnt ignite. He would begin to perform. Singing.

WWUD after singing the "under the alcofluence of incohol" song for exactly four fortress visitors.
Logged
"I don't often drink Mead, but when I do... I prefer Dee Eef's.  -The most interesting Dwarf in the World.  Stay thirsty, my friend.
Shark Dentistry, looking in the Raws.

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10190 on: July 05, 2020, 11:54:43 am »

Be bludgeoned to death by the visitors, who happen to be elves.

WWUD after being bludgeoned?

knutor

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10191 on: July 05, 2020, 08:08:18 pm »

Urist, having bled profusely on each elf, sharing the alcofluence syndrome, then gets his bleeding healed by his tame pet, "Mags" the magma crab pocket healer.

WWUD to Elf #3, when Mags set his oak shortbow, ablaze?

Logged
"I don't often drink Mead, but when I do... I prefer Dee Eef's.  -The most interesting Dwarf in the World.  Stay thirsty, my friend.
Shark Dentistry, looking in the Raws.

King Zultan

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10192 on: July 06, 2020, 07:43:26 am »

He would laugh at the elf then take the flaming bow away and beat the elf with it.

WWUD with his newly acquired !!oak shortbow!!?
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Olith McHuman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10193 on: July 06, 2020, 03:56:55 pm »

Urist can't find any arrows, so he goes to the barracks to do some sparring.

What would Urist McSwordsdwarf do now that the army is an !!army!!?
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IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10194 on: July 06, 2020, 04:38:48 pm »

Become !!Urist!! whilst laughing drunkenly (for !!Urist!! is drunk, as all dwarves should be).

WWUD whilst !!Urist!!?

Bumber

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10195 on: July 06, 2020, 05:10:48 pm »

Ponder why the !!oak shortbow!! set him on fire, but his earlier magma bath didn't.

What would Urist McMayor do if a !!dwarf!! came to complain about the magma baths being too cold, and attempted to cry on his shoulder?
Logged
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10196 on: July 06, 2020, 07:19:51 pm »

Urist McMayor is now !!Urist McMayor!!. His first mandate? That the state of being on fire shall be, from that moment on, the state that all dwarves are in.

What would !!Urist McMayor!! do after mandating this?

Bumber

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10197 on: July 06, 2020, 09:17:12 pm »

Notice that his !!official chair!! has suddenly gone missing, with the only clue being some ashes on the floor. He decides to enforce his !!mandate!! in person while simultaneously investigating the disappearance his chair.

WWUD if he noticed all the rum was gone, with the same ashes left behind as in his office?
« Last Edit: July 06, 2020, 09:18:45 pm by Bumber »
Logged
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

King Zultan

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10198 on: July 07, 2020, 06:15:56 am »

He'd think it was the kobolds and have the !!militia!! set forth on a campain to turn the kobolds into !!kobolds!!.

WWUD if he was sent as part of the !!militia!! sent out to turn kobolds into !!kobolds!!?
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #10199 on: July 07, 2020, 11:38:59 am »

Urist is, of course, !!Urist!!, just like the rest of the !!militia!!. Which works not quite well once the !!militia!! stumbles through a river on their search for kobolds and becomes the militia.

WWUD now that he's no longer on fire?
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