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[Magnumcannon]

Be confused, because Urist can't decide if he kills him for slaving elves, but, on other hand, he doesn't have any beard, which means ENEMY. At the end of the day, Urist decided to kill santa, but Urist McCraftdwarf entered a fell mod, transforming Urist into a bone pickaxe and selling him to the mountainhome. What a cruel life, huh?

WWUD do if alcohol could turn dwarf beards into naked gobbos?

[Graknorke]

WWUD do if alcohol could turn dwarf beards into naked gobbos?

Become either a legendary dodger or a legendary dead.

WWUD if the dwarves accidentally ran out of anvils?

[Dark One]

Sell some rock mugs for a steel anvil when the next dwarven caravan comes.

WWUD If Urist McMutant was born with two beards, three legs and half of a hand?

[mate888]

Be praised as a god for his multiple beards.
WWUD if he was praised as a god for his multiple beards?

[StagnantSoul]

Urust would commission the creation of an adamantine fortress upon a soap pillar.

WWUD if he was in an adamantine fortress on a soap pillar?

[heydude6]

Urust would die in a cave-in since his brother, Urist the militia commander desperately needed the soap to cure his infected wounds.

WWUD if multiciv forts were possible?

[xaritscin]

he would probably organize elves for farming, humans for politics, dwarves for mining/industry and goblins/kobolds for slave labor, with the best of the 3 first races for certain military division... oh wait, we're talking about Urist so probably wont happen

WWUD if it embarked in a vault?

[Sylveadiff]

Die horribly. Accept for one guy who would manage to kill everything and then die later from wounds within the week.

WWUD if he could switch between adventure mode and fortress mode with the press of a button?

[Mipe]

Squeal like a little schooldwarf.

WWUD if he woke up from pleasant dreams into cold, harsh reality of the doomed fortress in the progress of !FUN!?

[Magnumcannon]

Go back to sleep, why not? Later, waking up and realizing that he is the only surviving dwarf of the fortress, which got attacked by a siege, which got repelled by a kitty. Urist needs to have a drink now.

WWUD if he found a way to mess with the game's raws space-time?

[Quartz_Mace]

Urist would become an in-game modder, giving himself skin of adamantine, bones of Slade, and  organs of steel. He would turn his enemies into things like soap and spit flaming web, dust syndromes at them. He'd soon become self aware, realizing he's only a pawn in a simulation and upload himself to the internet. He'd then go on break because he is Urist, after all.

WWUD if he was uploaded to the internet and done with his break?

[Arcvasti]

Make a pair of cats, because he's lonely. Cue nuclear catsplosion across the entire internet.

What would Urist do if he was spearheading modern scientific research into nuclear weapons?

[evictedSaint]

He would use a nuclear device to wipe an invading siege of goblins off the map, and inadvertently obliterate the fortress in the process.

WWUD if genetic mutation due to this radioactivity caused all dwarves to grow long, pointed ears like an elf?

[Foxite]

Kill them all, cause a loyalty cascade by doing so, repeat.

WWUD if Urist McFell made a bone crossbow out of the only elite marksdwarf?

[Magnumcannon]

Be assigned to the squad as a punishment, later, becoming a elite marksdwarf, using the crossbow. He would then hear a beautiful laughter and be turned into a bone crossbow by Urist McFell². Repeat, repeat and repeat... Later, the crossbows got stolen by kobolds.

WWUD if elves, goblins, kobolds and plump helmet men became allies and then all of them siege the fortress at the same time?