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[TD1]

Keep it for himself as dragon bait. Then, when one takes the catch, he'll tame it and ride off into the sunset on its back.

WWUD if he was in Boromir's place.

[klefenz]

Get a an arrow to the paper skull and die instantly. Later his father, the steward of Gondor is informed of his death and starts a tantrum sipral that destroys Minas Tirith.

WWUD if he was on the Death Star?

[Eric Blank]

Dig too deeply. Suddenly fall into the core and destroy the whole thing.

Wwud if the god of death bestowed upon him a really cool glowy sword?

[escondida]

Hold it by the pointy end and bludgeon enemies to death with the hilt and pommel until gaining enough levels of swordsdwarf skill to figure out it's supposed to be the other way around. Luckily, the god of death is duly familiar with dwarves; thus the glowy enchantment to protect Urist's hands.

WWUD if books (besides boring necromancer treatises and secrets of life and death) were introduced?

[klefenz]

Dig too deeply. Suddenly fall into the core and destroy the whole thing.

Wwud if the god of death bestowed upon him a really cool glowy sword?

Decorate it with spikes of pig tail fiber and hanging rings of sand pear wood, then refuse to equip it upon being drafted.

WWUD if rain of gremlin tears?

[Eric Blank]

Read a book that teaches the secrets of weather control. He makes it rain gremlin tears. Afterwards he decides this is disgusting and switches to mercury.

Wwud if he had a dozen disobedient dogs running about?

[KingofstarrySkies]

Lunch.

WWUD if Bay12 and all it's members were teleported into the fort, armed to the teeth.

[Baffler]

Urist would parlay with the human invaders, who number in the thousands but are very confused. Everyone laughs as Urist runs terrified from Bay12, then runs back in their direction, terrified of the Baron who has ordered Urist to parlay and will be very grumpy if he doesn't. This continues until everyone on both sides gets bored, and the Dwarves have finished rerouting the magma pipe into the right rooms.

WWUD if he was the revered as a god by most Kobold tribes because of his artifact wooden scepter that predicted it's own theft?

[ICBM pilot]

Hold it by the pointy end and bludgeon enemies to death with the hilt and pommel until gaining enough levels of swordsdwarf skill to figure out it's supposed to be the other way around.

There are some techniques that include using it like that.

[klefenz]

Order them to return the scepter, this causes the kobolds to denounce him as a blasphemer (even though heis the deity) and launch an attack o him, but it fails becuas they run away in terror as soon as he sees them.

WWUD if he was in pulling range of The One Lever?

[Baffler]

This sums up the situation fairly concisely.

WWUD if he was elected Mayor of R'lyeh?

Edit: Questions disentagled.

[hops]

Get caught in an unfortunate accident after he had banned the production of shoggoths.

WWUD if his soul got ripped out to fuel a dwarven war machine?

[Olith McHuman]

Kill all the dwarfs in the fort when the war machine is constructed facing the wrong way.
It was inevitable.

WWUD if glumprong trees were able to attack and had blinking eyeballs?

[mate888]

Weaponize them aganist the elves.
WWUD if the elves managed to use the forces of nature to make the fort overgrown with life?

[Redzephyr01]

Magma, of course.
WWUD if he discovered that it wasn't actually inevitable?