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Author Topic: Weaponizing dwarven babies  (Read 10241 times)

Shook

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2011, 02:03:57 pm »

Yoink! I must be insane, for i am amused by the thought of shielding the babies' falls by means of fortifications.
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It may be worthwhile to have the babies fall into ring of fortifications or windows, to prevent anyone from catching and saving them.
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Hyndis

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2011, 04:10:12 pm »

Seems like it would be more effective to just drop them into the middle of the room for maximum splatter. If they survive then its by Armok's will alone.
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Jimlad11

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2011, 05:23:29 pm »

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« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 01:15:24 pm by Jimlad11 »
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Omegastick

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2011, 05:27:13 pm »

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drkpaladin

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2011, 07:48:08 pm »

When I read the title of this thread I was expecting that someone finally listened to my suggestions and modded dwarven babies to (instead of a corpse) drop an egg that hatches at room temperature upon death, from this egg hatches a vicious little facehugger monster, which grows into an adult fairly quickly.  Whenever the adult gets wounded, its blood tends to boil right away.

I thought it was a good idea, I think I saw it on a movie once.
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EveryZig

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2011, 08:08:05 pm »

Unrelated and undwarfy, goblin deaths seem to cause the "does not care" mood also. 

Dwarf Fortress, where gruesome public executions are one of the LESS extreme ways to psychologically condition your dwarfs. Also, Dwarf Fortress is a game where you don't even need any dark magic or infernal pact to profit from ritual child sacrifice.
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khearn

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #21 on: May 06, 2011, 08:37:00 pm »

Couldn't you just put a statue in the middle of the room and drop the babies on it? More compact than a ring of fortifications or windows. Also lets the audience have a closer view, and possibly enhanced splatter. Do fortifications stop flying body parts? I assume windows would.

Of course, there may be a difference of opinion on the splatter. Some people may prefer lots of it in the hope that being hit by flying baby/kitten/puppy parts will harden the dwarves up more quickly (but I doubt it would matter). But others might prefer to have the mess contained behind windows to avoid tracking blood all over the their nice, color coordinated floor patterns. Kind of the Ozzy Osborne vs. Martha Stewart debate.

I'm also wondering how one manages to get a baby dropped down a pit? They don't show up on the "pit an animal" menu, so I guess you'd have to get it on a retracting bridge and pull the lever. But how do you get it to go where you want? When I was doing !!SCIENCE!! on falling damage, I would assign Dwarven Test Subjects to a squad and tell the squad to move to the retracting bridge at the appropriate level of my 20z tall test chamber (you know, Dwarves are very trusting). But you can't do that with babies.

Well, you can put mom in a squad, but then you end up dropping her as well, which may not be what you want. I mean, sure it will help get the audience emotionally toughened up, but she might just have useful skills. On the other hand, this would be a good use for migrant potash makers. Drop them before they make any friends and they won't cause bad thoughts, but hey, a death witnessed is still a death witnessed. If you want to make heartless killing machines, you've got to break a few cheesemakers.

Oh, wait. If she's got a baby, she's probably already made at least one friend. But then, if we've progressed to dropping adults, we don't really need the baby any more (This is progress? Oy vey!)

One of these days, Toady will implement post-traumatic stress disorder and this all becomes worthless.

   Keith
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Passive Fist

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #22 on: May 06, 2011, 08:47:41 pm »

Just for reference, windows are totally opaque and behave exactly like a wall.
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EveryZig

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #23 on: May 06, 2011, 08:50:47 pm »

Just for reference, windows are totally opaque and behave exactly like a wall.
I have had animals spot ambushes through windows, while they cannot do that through walls.
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Girlinhat

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2011, 08:51:01 pm »

1) build a wall above the drop-pit.
2) place a bridge directly in front of this wall.
3) link bridge to a pressure plate that must be walked over.
4) designate the building for deconstruction, and watch as the idlers run to deconstruct it, only to flip the plate, retract the bridge, and plummet.

1) Place a lever on flat ground.
2) Build a reservoir beside it.
3) Set the lever on repeat, with only the desired mother able to pull it.
4) Open the reservoir, pushing water out and sweeping the baby away from the mother.
5) carefully close the doors/floodgates/bridge/etc to get the mother and child on opposite sides.
6) to prevent the baby from drowning, make it so that the baby washes onto a series of floor grates, and proceed to open the grates via lever to drop the baby.

Alternatively, leave baby there, and let mother be a soldier.  She won't be carrying her infant into battle anymore!  Release the child once it matures to the point of needing food (or just stock the baby-catcher with food and booze, and release the dwarf once they mature into productive citizens that can't be hauled away by a goblin with a large sack).

Goblins WISH they could snatch babies half as well as me!

FAKEDIT: Windows are see-through, check my Animal Powered Watchtower in my sig to see this in action.  Glass blocks which are built into walls, are opaque, despite being glass, but a window is transparent without letting light through.

khearn

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2011, 08:53:31 pm »

Just for reference, windows are totally opaque and behave exactly like a wall.

Then how do animals in  animal powered watch towers see out?

[Edit: Ninja'd, twice!]
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:55:55 pm by khearn »
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Have them killed. Nothing solves a problem quite as effectively as simply having it killed.

Urist_McGamer

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2011, 10:00:10 pm »

Couldn't you just put a statue in the middle of the room and drop the babies on it? More compact than a ring of fortifications or windows. Also lets the audience have a closer view, and possibly enhanced splatter. Do fortifications stop flying body parts? I assume windows would.

Of course, there may be a difference of opinion on the splatter. Some people may prefer lots of it in the hope that being hit by flying baby/kitten/puppy parts will harden the dwarves up more quickly (but I doubt it would matter). But others might prefer to have the mess contained behind windows to avoid tracking blood all over the their nice, color coordinated floor patterns. Kind of the Ozzy Osborne vs. Martha Stewart debate.

I'm also wondering how one manages to get a baby dropped down a pit? They don't show up on the "pit an animal" menu, so I guess you'd have to get it on a retracting bridge and pull the lever. But how do you get it to go where you want? When I was doing !!SCIENCE!! on falling damage, I would assign Dwarven Test Subjects to a squad and tell the squad to move to the retracting bridge at the appropriate level of my 20z tall test chamber (you know, Dwarves are very trusting). But you can't do that with babies.

Well, you can put mom in a squad, but then you end up dropping her as well, which may not be what you want. I mean, sure it will help get the audience emotionally toughened up, but she might just have useful skills. On the other hand, this would be a good use for migrant potash makers. Drop them before they make any friends and they won't cause bad thoughts, but hey, a death witnessed is still a death witnessed. If you want to make heartless killing machines, you've got to break a few cheesemakers.

Oh, wait. If she's got a baby, she's probably already made at least one friend. But then, if we've progressed to dropping adults, we don't really need the baby any more (This is progress? Oy vey!)

One of these days, Toady will implement post-traumatic stress disorder and this all becomes worthless.

   Keith

You have been sigged, my good man.
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But others might prefer to have the mess contained behind windows to avoid tracking blood all over the their nice, color coordinated floor patterns. Kind of the Ozzy Osborne vs. Martha Stewart debate.

Sarda

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2011, 10:16:25 pm »

Just be sure to make them shear their own skin and bone for raw materials.
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DrKillPatient

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #28 on: May 06, 2011, 10:39:05 pm »

You could use animals that breed on an extremely small area and push each other off, far above the chamber. Find away to block the falling for a while, and you can rain 50 cats on the recruits' heads. Not sure if horrible injury would result from that:

The spinning Kitten strikes the Recruit in the head, shattering the skull! The kitten has lodged firmly in the wound.
On the other hand, surviving that would mean an incredibly badass dwarf with a dead kitten sticking out the top of his head.
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iyaerP

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Re: Weaponizing dwarven babies
« Reply #29 on: May 07, 2011, 12:10:21 am »

Creatures don't deal or take falling damage if they land on another creature.


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