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[Mitchewawa]

The life of Mitchewawa, Ruler of Deathgate

Chapter 8: Skulls for the skull pile/Promptly shat his pants

There's a room above the archer station, in the base of hell. I've been meaning to find a use for this room. Coincidentally, I know whenever dwarfs look at my masterful creation in hell, at how I expanded the base to twice its original size and made it safe, I know they'll only think of how it benefits them. Not at how great I am!

Now I know these dwarfs; I have lived with them a long time. And I thought I knew the methods of our overseers; benevolent and calculated, but I was wrong. They're insane and self serving. And it worked! Dwarfs here; both common or official, do love one thing though. Macabre monuments. The BATTERY, the Demon Skull and the Temple to Armok are just examples.

I shall make a macabre monument; and I shall be the first one to do so. IN HELL.

12th Malachite:


Derm, our mayor, in his rather fucking pimpin' garbs, is trying to extract metal strands from raw adamatine. He's being pestered by some unhappy dwarf. I want my admantine; I need it for the spike traps at the front gate.


Coincidentally, I've ordered our top mechanics to fashion high-quality mechanisms for the spear traps. No lolligaggin'.


This will keep the god damn sadists happy until I can get the actual project running.


Boohoo.

What the hell? You god damn pussy!


17th Malachite

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Met an interesting fellow by the name of Epithemius. Tells me he's a Rudimentary Butcher, and that he's a total moody badass. He's even got the scars to prove it. Ok.

Seems the previous overseers reaaaally loved their copper. Smelters only smelting copper; not adamantine. Note to self; slap them all in the head.

Derm's [MANDATE] for bismuth bronze items is getting on my nerves. I'm refusing to oblige; it's the principle!


25th Malachite:

So ends a boring, uneventful month. Someone spotted a demon on the horizon and promptly shat his pants. Oh! Here's the completed front gate!

[AnimaRytak]

That's not so much as a dwarf as it is a giant, walking mass of scar tissue. 

Also, how's my dwarf doing?  OVG Redwarfed me I believe.

EDIT:

We got nominated for a Dwarfey.

[The Mad Fool]

Clearly, The Mad Fool has been using him for surgical experimentation.  Either that or he's the clumsiest butcher to ever wield a cleaver.

[Mitchewawa]

The life of Mitchewawa, Ruler of Deathgate

Chapter 9: xXPig Tail Masturbatory AidXx

I've noticed an incredible amount of debris outside of our gates into hell; high quality armours and weapons. There's even an artifact adamantine spear just lying there. I've ordered them to be reclaimed. Not everything however; I do not want to send dwarfs to their deaths in order to pick up some shitty little xXPig Tail Masturbatory AidXx


4th Galena:

How delicious!

There is some uncultivated adamantine in our tunnels just left to be mined. Considering how we have literally 0 idlers, this may take some time.


Sometimes I think people are just too busy to memorialise the dead. Such a shame. I've ordered a slab to be (eventually) made.


7th Galena:
Tyrar the Third said hello to me today, to remind me he still exists. Good for him.

The speed of construction on the walls and floors of the second and third floor of the base in hell has increased dramatically! My mechanics tell me that 'Because of your upgraded 'Com-poot-tor' your 'Ef-Pee-Es' has increased." I don't know what that means but it sounds great. They tell me my 'Ef-Pee-Es' has gone from ten to sixty. That's like, five times more!


What is this, some kind of ghost convention?
What was that, some kind of simile?!


They took the xXMittensXx off his skeletal hand but not his adamantine gauntlet?


8th Galena:

A pack of dogs were jumped on by a trio of demons. The good news is that those mangy mutts will stop attracting demons to our gates. The bad news is that those mangy mutts just attracted demons to our gates. I really have to install an insane-proof door in there.


As luck, or divine intervention, would have it the demon is off chasing a goose. And the goose is outrunning the demon. We have time to muster a 'defence'.


Alas! Tyrar the Third, who very recently told me he was alive, is about is about to die! Help is only meters away!


Who shall triumph? Find out next episode; Chapter 10: Ultimate Muscle!
And yes, it is a coincidence you got caught picking up equipment by demons soon after asking me about your status 
Oh and I think AnimaRytak is still alive.

[Mitchewawa]

19th Granite:
I have made a great discovery! On the construction of a roof for our hell-post, I accidentally ordered a floor built over one of those glowing pits. It turns out that construction over these strange glowing pits is in fact, possible. I will make myself some nice little chambers in this greatly lit area!

Indeed you can.  There is however a bug - you can build atop a Glowing Pit from the side, but you cant build down onto one with an Up Stair even though there's a staircase above it leading downwards.

Turns out that if you use up ramps you can, infact, build up. I'm not 100% on down ramps.

[ThatAussieGuy]

19th Granite:
I have made a great discovery! On the construction of a roof for our hell-post, I accidentally ordered a floor built over one of those glowing pits. It turns out that construction over these strange glowing pits is in fact, possible. I will make myself some nice little chambers in this greatly lit area!

Indeed you can.  There is however a bug - you can build atop a Glowing Pit from the side, but you cant build down onto one with an Up Stair even though there's a staircase above it leading downwards.

Turns out that if you use up ramps you can, infact, build up. I'm not 100% on down ramps.

I meant on the actual "Glowing Pit" tile at the very bottom.  You can build atop one from the side, but not down from above with an downstair/upstair

[Mitchewawa]

The life of Mitchewawa, Ruler of Deathgate

Chapter 10: Ultimate Muscle

Tyrar was killed instantly. The top of his head was punched off. That wasn't surprising...


...and this was. Where the fuck did they come from?!



This will be a catastrophe. Two demons in our base, another out the front. The demon-squad is stuck outside, scattered. Tyrar is a goner, the pack of dogs that lead them here put to death. A gander is idly mauled. We cannot stand around while these demons take away our beloved pets! Battle stations!


And in a stunning act of insight, the squad scattered outside cut their losses (Tyrar) and came inside. Armok has sent us a mechanic, for we are not beyond repair!

[
Not everyone made it inside. A lowly lye maker, obviously a scene-punk who liked the macabre look of hell did not want to get inside with all of the conformist dwarfs. Good for him; now he really can go to the depths of hell (because he fell in).

The demon hunters strike down the two demons in our walls, suffering only one broken wrist and one shattered femur. Two more demons exist out the front of our gates, but I managed to seal up the gate. However, I have discovered a back door to our little base...


Soon. Two demons at once. A test of our... 'might'. We should find a way to literally freeze hell over, so this does not happen again. Either that or find a way to keep our dogs on a leash.

[ThatAussieGuy]

I don't suppose you have any random caged animals you can just chain up as meatshields before that route is properly sealed?

[Mitchewawa]

Nah, the two demons are like thirty seconds away from coming in. That is unless their pathfinding takes them somewhere else...

[The Mad Fool]

We should find a way to literally freeze hell over, so this does not happen again. Either that or find a way to keep our dogs on a leash.

I am 100% in favor of the first option.  Leashes are for elves.

No, seriously, we should find a way to put elves on leashes.

[magmaholic]

i propose an MEGAPROJECT!
build an AI to hell.
lookie http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=96243.0 if you agree :3

[Mitchewawa]

i propose an MEGAPROJECT!
build an AI to hell.
lookie http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=96243.0 if you agree :3

Thaaat's not going to happen. Not enough flat space in hell.

[magmaholic]

Thaaat's not going to happen. Not enough flat space in hell.

pity.

[ThatAussieGuy]

I propose a dwarven water reactor in Hell.  With a water channel down from the surface/cave lake to refill it via levers rather than buckets. 

[Mitchewawa]

The life of Mitchewawa, Ruler of Deathgate

Chapter 11: +Roasted Doom Tallow+

I cannot stress how close we came to defeat. We just managed to get the hole walled over, and even then I had to sacrifice a dwarf to do it.


Our army is too weak. Poorly trained. Our champions killed in ages past. We're sieges down below.
Can't sleep, clown'll eat me.
Can't sleep, clown'll eat me.
Can't sleep, clown'll eat me.


9th Galena:
Edmus, the swordsdwarf with a broken leg, was forced to rest on the corpses of two demons before being taken to hospital. Woe is the state of Deathgate, home of the +Roasted Doom Tallow+

I had to tear down portions of floor on my archer section; they are to be replaced by walls in order for archery ranges to be built. I hope to someday move all of our military to the hellbase. Perhaps I'll keep one up high in case of goblins.

Frying Doby, a legendary cook(!!!) has been possessed. I do hope to keep him alive; he's a proficient macedwarf too. Perhaps I'll draft him to replace Ovg...

Oh, he took a leatherworker shop. I don't care.

Human merchants have arrived. I have no idea where the trading post is...

A recruit has been jailed for 51 days pending his failure to create bismuth bronze items for Derm. Coincidentally, I still don't care.

I found the trading post, and I do not have any idea what it is we make. I settled with 'crafts'.


24th Galena:
Frying Doby has begun his mysterious construction! A random assortment of raccoon leather, llama wool, cloth, marble(?), cat bone, copper bars, gold blocks and crystal. I do hope it's something we can use to kill something with,


Hell is miasming. The dwarf who is rotting is probably someone's friend. This shall bode poorly for the overall sanity and well being of the fortress.
Okay, it's starting to really miasma. The stench has filled a large part of the cavern with purple mist. My dwarven engineers tell me the radius of the stink-bomb is around 20 blocks, leaving a diameter of 40.

I'm getting annoyed at the 'Warm stone' alerts. I'm trying to mine adamantine in the semi-molten rock. Speaking of which, adamantine production is too slow. I've ordered 5 new stations in order to extract their scrumptious strands.

It's a raccoon leather shield! Finally, an artifact we can kill something with! And valued at 54k, our prestige is also increased. The higher-ups shall be pleased.


That is a lot of miasma. I think I need to create more coffins for that smelly body.

I've cancelled the creation of green glass vials, clay bricks, and copper bars in order to speed up the adamantine extraction. All dwarfs have been given the duty of extraction. All smelters are set to adamantine wafers. With 134 new volunteers for extraction, production is set to increase.



12th Limestone:

Child labour.


This is what you get for child labour.


I traded with the humans. Our +Cat Skull Totems+ are unparalleled!


Ewww.