OOC: I'll handle dwarfing requests and locating the DUCKTRON lever tomorrow, I finally finished writing up Granite, and will start on Slate tomorrow. With how life is going right now, I hope to have my year concluded by the end of next week. I once again apologize for the initial delay in my updates, as life decided to take an unexpected shit on me.
Journal of Id 'NCommander' Matulcog
17 Granite 777
After walking this place from top to bottom, our military is beginning to shape up again, but is still far from perfect. With an armorsmith now in training, I can hope that soon we'll be able to clad our warriers in the finest craftwork we can create. It will however still be many months before Atomic is producing legendary works however.
In addition, I need to look at our longterm survival in this place. There is nothing I can do to solve our migrant woes except continue to trade our wares, and pray that this drought comes to an end. However, I realize there is another way. Today, I was given news of not one but two joyous events.
I realize now that if we can't attract a population, we merely need to create one ourselves! Few parties are held these days as most of us are either training, working, sleeping, or drinking. What is needed is a mandatory month off work, to allow our man and woman to intermigal, and with luck, reproduce. While it will be many years before these potentional new dwarfs will be useful to the fortress, it will still give us hope for the future. Once I find the correct pretenses, Operation: Baby Boom will begin.
Until then, I must work on the other aspect of our longterm survival, our military. While they have come far from the green recruits that we started out with, they still have far to come. The answer on how to turn them into killing machines however was staring me right in the face. For them to become killers, we must in turn into one of the most dreaded enemies known to Dwarfian kind: the carp.
Yes, the simple fish has claimed many lifes over many fortresses across the world. But why can't we train our warriors to swim and think like the carp? We already have the equipment setup to safely flood a room of the fortress. The way forward suddenly became clear. I gave the order for all military personal to meet in the trade depot.
As they assembled, I gave construction orders to redesign the goblin pit. Many of our archers have become close to becoming heroes; the first I believe Deathgate has ever seen. To speed up the process, I decided to create a live-fire firing range ...
I also ordered the nearby lever to be connected to all the cages, finishing some previous overseers design. Once completed, the lever should raise the drawbridge, and release all the goblins. Then our archers merely need to use them as living target pratice. At the same time, I ordered several of the goblin cages hauled to the arena. While we aren't close to having axe lords yet, I intend to get them as close as possible before my year is out.
With those orders given, I sat in the trade depot waiting for the others to arrive. While I would have liked to get everyone in at once, it quickly proved impossible as dwarfs would leave and enter to satisify their bodly demands for food, booze, or sleep. In addition, one of the speardwarfs was so miserable to the point that I felt the mental hardship of carp training would push him over the edge so he was excused. It soon became clear I would have to rotate dwarfs in and out to get everyone trained.
I told one of the farmers to stand-by as a pump operator, and to relay any reports down to me as we stood in the trade depot. As I waited for the last few dwarfs to enter, the mayor decided to impose a mandate.
I could only smirk as he had NO idea what was about to happen, and I stood to address the troops.
"Ladies and Gentledwarfs! It is time to for you to become awesome. We are about to begin a new, experimental, and certainly harzious training program. When its done, all of you shall eat seiges, and shit awesome!"
I will always remember their confused looks with a smile on my face as I locked the door.
"Your training begins now, LET IT RIP!"
The was a rush of air and then ...
As expected, they started complaining immediately ...
"AH, IT's COLD"
"B-b-b-b-but, I don't know how to swim!!!"
"Oh god, the walls are bleeding!"
"Oooh, pretty waterfall ..."
While I must be optimistic, I find myself praying that these foundations will be enough ...
Just before the water made any more conversation impossible, I heard one last report hollered down from above ...
We don't have any fisherdwarfs ...