This episode brought to you by the fine people at Imgur, because they don't suck Java's tit.
After taking a quick breather, I catch up with Bianca and Cheren at Route One
Hey guys, we should all take our first step outside of Nuvema town together!
That has got to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard- Route One is just a poorly maintained road, and we've all left town before! Remember that field trip to Striaton City?
My shoes have type advantage against your testicles.
Hey guys, know what would be cool? If we all took our first step together!
Could be worse, I suppose
With that out of the way, what are your plans, guys?
I plan on becoming Pokemon Champion in order to institute sweeping social reforms, overturn the stagnant feudal society we are trapped in and break the glass ceiling for academics such as myself, thereby ushering in a Golden Age of science and prosperity similar to post-war Kanto.
That's funny, I'm planning on traveling the countryside building popular support before becoming Pokemon Champion and using the masses and my own lineage to become the first Pokeking in 25 generations, at which point I shall embroil Unova in a series of foreign wars to establish a new world order. But first I'm gonna catch a rat or something- baby steps and all. What about you, Bianca?
I'm gonna find a new daddy!
And we wish you all the best.
Hey, you know what would be fun? A Pokemon catching contest! Whoever finds the most Pokemon by the time we get to Accumula Town wins!
That would be grossly illegal. Just because the Pokemon Protection Act is unpopular doesn't mean you can flaunt it whenever you want. Besides, you can't become Champ or even battle the Gym Leaders with unregistered Pokemon.
Monk, all that time you spend learning how to be a Trainer, I spent learning how to hack. The system is so full of security holes and backdoors I'd be surprised if ANYONE was following the PPA. Noblesse oblige
, my friend. I am a noble- I must act nobly.
Monk, there's no way you can become Champ by working within the law. The Gyms, the Elite Four, the PPA... the whole system is set up to keep people like you and me from becoming Champ.
Twelve year olds.
I know the odds are against me, but I am bound by my honor. To deviate in this would be to give up who I am.
If you say so- I'll see you in Accumula, then.
While Cheren and Bianca head off to make a mockery of the legal system, I stomp around the tall grass looking for a new Pokemon- if I only get one try per route, I need to make every one count.
*WILD LILLIPUP APPEARED!*
Sweet Mew, that thing is so ugly it came out the other side and turned cute again. And it's level 2! Don't worry little guy, with Marvin and I to raise you you'll turn out alright, even if you are just Route 1 trash.
[Raise him!?! I'M NOT READY TO BE A PARENT!]
...Marvin, what the hell was that?
[My insides hurt]
At least you learned Water Gun. So I guess for this competition we finish with... zero. Great.
In the vain hope that there is another area between here and Accumula Town, I pull out my town map. Sure enough, it looks like there is on- wait, what the hell?
Why the hell would my mother give me a map with some secret laboratory on it? Do Cheren and Bianca's copies have the same information on it? I try to call my mother to straighten this out, but can't figure out how to turn the crosstransceiver on. Considering I had to kill half a dozen puppies just to get this far, I decide to push on to Accumula Town.
Bianca and Cheren are chatting at the end of Route 1.
So how many Pokemon did you guys catch?
One each, and honestly it probably wasn't worth the balls. These things are so weak they have trouble standing up.
I caught a puppy!
Well, it looks like that is still more than you caught. I'll offer one more time- do you want me to crack your Pokedex for you?
I know you mean well, but I stand by what I said. The answer is no.
The fast growing town! ...who writes these things, five year olds?
As you can see, Accumula town is conveniently divided into slums, merchant residences and services, and the local Baron's manor is on the hill. Professor Juniper is waiting at the Pokecenter, and when we arrive she gives a guided tour. Apparently, in these games, Pokecenters and Pokemarts are in the same place, which certainly makes shopping convenient. Unfortunately, it seems I can only buy Potions and Pokeballs here- well, Potions, Pokeballs, and about thirty different kinds of mail.
I smell a sidequest!
...and I think that about covers it. You're ready to begin your journey! When you get to Striaton City, go look up an inventor named Fennel. She's an old friend of mine, and she can help you out. Take care now!
Heading outside, all the peasants are gathering around the villains in the town square. I can tell they are villains because they march in formation and are all in uniform. And speaking of uniforms, this is probably a good place to compare/contrast with Gen I.
This was surprisingly hard to find
In Gen I, Team Rocket was like a cross between the Mafia
and Those Wacky Nazis
. They dressed all in black, wore jackboots, look a little bit like Luigi (i.e, a Japanese person's idea of what an Italian looks like,) and carried whips
. Not for battle- they just like to whip things. They alternated between 1) doing evil things for no reason, like stealing TMs from old people when they already have an entire city under their thumb, 2) doing whatever it takes to get money or power, like their casino venture in Celadon and their hostile corporate takeover of Silph, and 3) doing evil things to get money or power, as in their slaughter of an entire town's worth of Cubones and Marowaks in order to harvest their skulls. In Gen II they took this to the next level mostly by effectively using Dark type Pokemon and cranking up the zaniness of their schemes. They were credible villains and not somebody you really wanted to mess with.
That's not what I'm dealing with in the plaza of Accumula town. This is.
I'm really not sure where to begin here, so I'll just work my way from top to bottom. It appears that it is really cold in Unova, or maybe they just can't afford real hats, but it looks like they just sewed their cloaks to their heads. Their sleeves are extremely... not billowy, because you could only get this effect by bracing the sleeve- not in a way that would actually protect you in a battle, mind you, just in a way that would make it inconvenient to carry bulky things. Their logo is needlessly complicated- really, a "P" would have sufficed, guys. It looks like they're wearing spandex underneath a medieval style frock- I'm sure the effect they were going for was "menacing knight," but the effect I got was about as menacing as a french maid.
French Maids would have been more entertaining, I bet
But hey, its not what you wear, its the atrocities you commit, right? This guy is probably going to exhort the town to burn the PokeJews or something, give me a good excuse to kick his ass. Their leader is a guy named Ghetsis- lacking a decent picture of him, his part shall be played by special guest Elrond of Rivendell
, aka Hugo Weaving.
People of Accumula Town, I am here with you today to speak about Pokemon Liberation. It is a popular myth that Pokemon are our loving companions, that they love battle as we do, that they would gladly die for us in scores to whet our sordid senses of honor and pride. This is a lie
. Pokemon are enslaved by us- our very society is based on the cruel subjugation of entire races of beings, a crime unimaginable in its atrocity and scope. Furthermore, you all know it to be true, in your heart of hearts; you merely do not wish to admit it. I am here to tell you, allowing such a travesty to continue is as black a sin as there can be. Tell your Trainers, your lords, your countrymen- end Pokemon Oppression. Support Pokemon Liberation.
I'm surprised the local Baron lets him speak such insane things in public. What was that gang of thugs with him, the Pokemon Liberation Organization?
No, he's with Team Plasma.
PLO was already taken, unfortunately
As Ghestis and Team Plasma pack up, a green haired man stumbles out of the crowd, babbling insanely.
He's right, you know. I can hear
Pokemon. I listen
. You! You have Pokemon! Let me hear them! Let them speak!
Get away from me, you miserable cur! Marvin, dispose of this rabble!
Crazy McHobo sends out a Purrloin, who is no match for my over-leveled Oshawott.
[SHOOP DA WOOP!]
heard a Pokemon say that
before. My name is N. As long as Pokemon are confined in balls, they will never become Perfect Beings.
Damn it all, how many recurring foes am I going to get?
What makes you think we'll ever see that crazy person again?
Are you kidding? He had his own sprite and everything!
Well, I'm going on ahead to Striaton City. They have a renown Pokemon Academy there, as well as one of the most trainer-friendly Gyms in Unova.
Alright- I'm going to explore a bit more here, I'll catch up with you.
With that, I head off to investigate... THE SLUMS
Nuvema Town- Oshawott
Route 1- XXX
NEXT TIME: Puppies, Puppies EVERYWHERE
Comments, criticism, suggestions welcome as always.
The above Locations Visited section details places I have already been to in my IRL run, but have not yet revealed in this LP. It also keeps track of whether I have captured a Pokemon from a particular area yet- Accumula Town, for instance.