PART XIV: Burgh
Warning- this is one messed up Gym. You should not read this if you have a weak constitution, an appetite you'd rather not lose, are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant, or if you plan on sleeping in the
future. This evening, our musical accompaniment comes courtesy of Nightwish
. It's a long enough tune you can hit play whenever you've got a respectable buffer.
Merciful Mew, it's everywhere
Good grief, what is all this sticky crap?
Delicious honey, my dear.
Gah! Who the hell are you?
Harley Quinn, at your service. I study art and Pokemon here with Burgh. And you... you are Monk. Hurry on through, Burgh is expecting you.
Hurry through? This is a dead end!
The honey, my dear. Immerse yourself in it.
Upon closer inspection, one of the walls appears to be a foot thick of solid honey- the rest of the Gym is on the other side. I could ask some serious questions about how one goes about making a permeable wall of solid honey, but I'd rather not be in the same room as the clown for any length of time. Through the honey I go.
Imagine a bowl of honey, for a moment. Thick, viscous, translucent, cloying. Now imagine that the air is honey. Moving through a wall of honey is like one of those nightmares where you try to flee some horror from the dark corners of your mind, and you find your steps slowed. You can't breath- each step is too slow, lasts for an eternity, you won't make it. And then you wake up, and you're through.
*gasp* Mew's whiskers... alright, what's nex-
MOTHER OF MEW!
Ah, so you properly appreciate Burgh's work. A good sign. This
is what Burgh draws?
Indeed. I absolutely love this gym where Burgh's vision became reality!* Now, let's see if you appreciate my
[Oh please let it finally end]
Heinrich, cleanse this place!
[With pleasure] *AIR CUTTER*
Very good! Don't let me keep you- Burgh is waiting.
I hate this Gym and all within it. Well, once more, into the breach. *step*
*shudder* I'm not going to sleep tonight.
I haven't slept in years.
Gah! Sorry, I thought you were a statue.
M- legs! Many legs!
[More death. Always more]
[BEGONE!] *AIR CUTTER*
I-I just want to take the ears off... why can't I take the ears off?
I'm not going to sleep EVER AGAIN. *step*
I also might sick up soon.
Ah, Monk! So glad you could make it!
Burgh. What the fuck
kind of Gym is this?
Traditionally, this stage of the League Challenge is where we weed out those who lack the necessary fortitude to be a decisive leader- it's amazing how many Trainers get this far without an inkling of how the wilds really are.
You are one sick bastard, you know that?
Only the sick bastards get this far! Anyway, let's get to the good stuff. My bug Pokemon are scurrying with excitement about getting to battle you.*
Hello Pokemon fans, and welcome to this edition of Unovan Idol!
This Gym just gets worse and worse.
Our challenger tonight is Monk, hoping to establish himself on the second tier of the Pokemon League with his third badge! Returning with him tonight are Heinrich, a level 26 Pidove who figures to feature prominently here tonight, and Marvin, the level 24 Dewott who has accompanied him from the very first! New to the team is Urkel, a level 24 Scraggy who figures to have a tough time in this Gym.
You seem rather calm, Monk. Most people who tour my gallery are a bit pale by this point.
I'm not most people. I'm going to be champ.
Interesting. My last challenger said the same thing. Let's see if you are as skilled.
Let's get straight to the action!
This dance is yours, Heinrich.
[We shall soar above this scum!]
[Welcome to the jungle, meat] <Quick Claw> *AIR CUTTER*
Woah! Heinrich's Quick Claw gave him the drop on Burgh's Whirlipede, and Heinrich followed up big time! One hit knockout!
[Flying-types, it figures] *AIR CUTTER*
[Taste this, flyboy] *SMACK DOWN*
Oooh, that's gotta hurt. Dwebble is a Bug/Rock combination- this makes him more survivable against flying types like Pidove, while also giving him access to powerful Rock-type counterattacks!
Rock type, huh? Heinrich, return! Mop up, Marvin!
[About time I saw some action] *Fury Cutter*
[Urf] *RAZOR SHELL*
[Like I always say- Don't leavanny alive!]
Gah! Where did you catch that thing, the Uncanny Valley?
Leavanny is the evolved form of Sewaddle. Cretin.
(Hm. Sewaddle is Grass/Bug- bad combination for Marvin.
) Urkel! Gimme some time!
[Hiya!] *Razor Leaf*
Monk is using this time to heal Heinrich, but can Urkel take another hit like that? *Razor Leaf*
Sit down! Destroy him, Heinrich!
bug? Hello, four times effectiveness!] *Razor Leaf*
[Too little, too late, insect] *AIR CUTTER*
And it's over! The fight is over! Monk advances through the third Gym with a dominating display of elemental advantages!
Oh, very good, Monk. Very... inspiring.
You seem rather calm, Burgh. Most people I defeat are a little pale about now.
Very funny. Losing to you doesn't bother me because you are a-MAZ-ingly strong!* You've earned this badge!
...it has rabbit ears
The insect badge means that all Pokemon up to level 40 will obey you without question. You have also earned this TM- Struggle Bug!
That sounds dumb. Besides, I don't even have a bug type.
Regardless, it is yours. I'm sure we'll cross paths again- it will be interesting to see how you do in Nimbassa.
That's all for now, Pokemon fans! Until next time- This is John Madden, signing off.
NEXT TIME: Rivalry
Suggestions, Comments, Criticism welcome as always.
Nuvema Town- "Marvin", Oshawott
Route 1- XXX
Accumula Town- ??
Route 2- "Pompey", Lillipup 6-12
Striaton City- ??
Dreamyard- "Mojo Jojo", Pansear lvls 10-12
Route 3- Timon, Patrat 8-15
Wellspring Cave- Cletus, Woobat 11-14
Nacrene City- ??
Pinwheel Forest- Heinrich, Pidove
Castelia City- ??
Route 4- Urkel, Scraggy
Desert Resort- ??