PART XVI: Puttin' on the Ritz
What happens in Nimbasa City, stays in Nimbasa City!
The first thing I see in Nimbasa City (once I'm no longer blinded by the neon, anyway) is a couple of Plasma Grunts accosting an old man.
Gramps, we know you run the day care!*
How do we know? Because we're Team Plasma!*
I don't want any!
Er... We are taking Pokemon away from people....*
Gerroff mah lawn!
Since you work at the Day Care, you must have lots of Pokemon!*
I don't think he's listening. Actually, it looks like he just fell asleep.
Well then, this'll just be that much easier!
No it won't.
And who the hell are you!
...actually, I think he's the guy who just trounced Burgh.
That's me alright.
This went downhill fast! So I think...*
Smartest thing you've done all day!
Let's hide out at the amusement park!*
...why would you announce that? How thick can you people BE!?!
WHO SAID THAT!?! SHOW YERSELF!
Gah! Er, I'm Monk- I just saved you from some Plasma grunts.
Plasma grunts!?! Ah, in my youth I could have taught them what-for, but I'm too old now! I can't do it! So, I need you to teach them some manners for me!
As much fun as it is to waste my time battling incompetent thugs, I've got more important things to do.
There's a free bike in it for ya!
I'm your man!
I've got the need, the need for speed!
How do I put this lightly... this bike is older than everyone I know.
Ah, me old 1849 Van Buren- this bike's served me well, and she'll serve you well too! Good luck on yer journey!
Well, I suppose it's better than no bike at all.
Hey Monk! Yoo-hoo!*
The professor told me Nimbassa City has lots of things to see and do- the amusement park, Big Stadium, Small Court, the battle subway! I'm going to see the Pokemon Musical!*
That's nice- I think I'm gonna go check out the neighboring routes, maybe pick up another Pokemon.
Nonsense! TO THE THEATER! *yoink*
It's exactly as emasculating as it looks
A. Mazing. Isn't it?*
Mew's whiskers, is it ever pink in here.
Hello children, and welcome to the Musical Theater!
Hello, special guest Willi Ninja
We use props to make your Pokemon fashionable and glamorous! Do you want to join in and play Dress-up? Here's a Prop Case! Now you can decorate your Pokemon!*
Here, let me show you!
I wasn't kidding about the pink
SO VERY MUCH PINK.
It's not THAT pink.
It tastes like diabetes.
Now, pick a Pokemon!
I'd rather not.
Do it do it do it! This'll be ADORABLE.
Alright, alright, who's the lucky Pokemon.
[Lay a hand on me, and you won't get it back.]
[Play dress up? And destroy my street cred? No thanks, homes.]
[I have a very strict dress code, and none of these items are suitable.]
[I will cut you.]
...I'm not sensing a lot of enthusiasm.
Pick Marvin! He's your partner, doesn't he deserve a chance to feel pretty?
The judge has delivered her verdict, Marvin.
[COME ON. Choose Urkel, you could give him a decent pair of pants!]
[Hey, these pants are a useful survival mechanism! YOU'RE the one in a skirt!]
[This isn't a skirt, it's a holster for my scalchops!]
Enough of that! Get over here- the sooner we do this musical thing, the sooner we can get on with it.
Let's see, one of these, and one of those... ta-da!
[This demeans us both.]
Wow, the two of you did a fantastic job coordinating everything! Utterly charming! Now that your Pokemon is dressed up, he can participate in the musical!*
Oh, I don't know what to do! Doing the musical would be totally cool, but there's other stuff I wanna do. OK, that's it! I made up my mind! I'm going to see the sights in Nimbasa! See ya, Monk!*
If you'd like to participate in the musical, sign-ups are right over there!
...oh what the hell. Sign us up!
[You've got to be kidding me.]
Don't look so glum, Marvin- maybe there's a prize.
[Words cannot express the hate I am feeling right now.]
The show you'll be performing is A Sweet Soiree! That is a popular show among women.
I have a feeling all of these shows are popular amongst women.
We're all set! Get out there, Marvin!
What follows is a travesty that defies description. Apparently, a Pokemon Musical is more popularity contest than performance art. Four Pokemon come out on stage, and then proceed to bounce about while occasionally using a prop- the goal here is to steal the spotlight by using your props to show up the other Pokemon, i.e, act like a complete dick. Since I didn't have a clue what I was doing, Marvin just goes through the routine, only spinning his cane in the waning moments of the Musical when I figure out I don't have to just sit and watch. If you've got a few brain cells you didn't want anyway, you can watch an example of Pokemon performing A Sweet Soiree on Youtube; Just skip to about 1:00
What did I just watch.
Good job! Great Musical! I've received comments from the audience! "Monk's Dress Up Performance was very elegant! Watching your Pokemon's sharp moves, I also felt elegant!"
...is that good?
It's not bad!
Is it good enough for a prize, maybe?
Child, there are no prizes in art!
Yes there are! There are MANY prizes for art! My time would have been better spent watching paint dry.
It's worth about as much EXP, anyway
On my way out of the theater, it turns out that you can get prizes for good performances- the various fans might give you more props if you do well. I didn't do well, so I don't get another fancy hat for Marvin. As the rewards for this minigame don't seem to translate to the main game, I feel well justified in hurrying outside.
As I emerge from the pink depths, it appears that Bianca has been just loitering outside since she left.
Daddy? Dad, what are you doing here?
I've come to take you back home, of course! Your mother told me that you'd made it all the way out here. Haven't you gone far enough?*
No way! I'm going to keep traveling with Monk and my Pokemon!*
Hey, keep me out of this!
Absolutely not! Others do things their way, and we do things ours!*
Is that so? Then how about you do things your way, and I'll do things mine!*
My way is the Family way! You need to learn it now if you want to succeed later!
I'm twelve! There's plenty of time to learn!
Old habits die hard, and if you keep choosing Pokemon training over business administration you'll never be more than a common enforcer!
Sweetie, keep going on your travels.*
Who do you think you are? This is a Family matter!*
My name is Elesa. I'm this towns Gym Leader. I also happen to be a model.*
I'm really not sure how that's relevant, but I am intrigued nonetheless.
Bianca, you know there are many people in this world. There are many people whose way of thinking may be completely different from yours. Sometimes, this means you may get hurt. But it's important to keep trying, to learn about the differences between yourself and others... to learn that being different is ok. And you shouldn't worry. Trainers always have Pokemon at their side*
Except that time Munna got kidnapped.
Please! I know there's gonna be painful stuff like you're worrying about! I know, I get it, but there'll be tons of nice people too. And since I've started traveling with Pokemon I've gotten tougher, I can totally tell.* If I'm not tough enough, I'll never get any respect in the Family.
I guess. If wanting to continue your journey is selfishness on your part, wanting to stop you is selfish on mine. I'm sure its better to take the path you want to take now. Monk please take care of my little girl, ok?*
I want no part of this!
Monk, I'm not asking you. Take care of my little girl, or I'll take care of you, capish?
I'm training to be the single most powerful trainer on the continent! What kind of threat could you possi-
I served with your father at the Siege of Celadon.
...I remember hearing about that. Is it true that you-
With a Cottonee!?!
Your father wanted to use a Herdier, but waste not want not, I always say. I'm very... efficient.
...Consider Bianca guarded!
Don't I get a say in this?
Goodbye, Bianca- be safe.
Papa! I'll be back one day! I won't forget the Family!
I'm glad that all worked out for the best.
I'm still not sure what business a Gym Leader has in a domestic dispute.
Trainers are my business, especially in my city. If you're trainers, please stop by the gym. I'll teach you how tough the journey can get.*
That was surprisingly ominous.
Well, I'm off! Much to see, much to do!
Wait! Get back here! I SWEAR TO MEW, IF YOU GET YOURSELF HURT I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SLAP YOU SILLY! ...dammit. Well, I suppose there's still plenty of Nimbasa to see. Right after I hit up the Pokecenter.
NEXT TIME: Hail to the King
Suggestions, Comments, Criticism welcome as always.
Nuvema Town- "Marvin", Oshawott
Route 1- XXX
Accumula Town- ??
Route 2- "Pompey", Lillipup 6-12
Striaton City- ??
Dreamyard- "Mojo Jojo", Pansear lvls 10-12
Route 3- "Timon", Patrat 8-15
Wellspring Cave- "Cletus", Woobat 11-14
Nacrene City- ??
Pinwheel Forest- "Heinrich", Pidove
Castelia City- ??
Route 4- "Urkel", Scraggy
Desert Resort- "Gustave", Sandile
Nimbasa City- ??
Route 5- ??
Route 16- ??