PART XX: Machinations
After indulging in my traditional post-Gym Pokecenter visit, I hasten to Route 5. Although somewhat suspicious of Elesa's motives, I can hardly pass up this opportunity to get to the next Gym.
It's not like I have any way to swim across, right?
...oh crap. I should have known.
You've got a Bolt Badge, I've got a Bolt Badge... Let's test who's stronger, you or me!*
Are you going to do this after every Gym? Because if you do, that would make you much more predictable.
Probably not- that'd be what, 8 fights? I've got other things to do, you know.
No you don't!
Sure I do! I... uh, fight Bianca sometimes too? Hey, let's stop wasting time and get to the battle! Liepard, go!
Let's see, who's first in line... oh no. Not-
Psychic v Dark is not
happening. Go, Urkel!
[Hellllllooooooo!] *Pursuit* *Pursuit* *Pursuit* *Brick Break* *Brick Break*
Blast! Finish him, Tranquill!
You've gotten better at countertyping, Cheren. I don't have much response to that... Teddy, lock'm down!
Bully! *Air Cutter* *Disable*
Ha! His flying move is disabled
, and your normal moves don't work against Ghost type!
Yeah, but your Ghost moves don't affect him because he's part normal. Disability will wear off.
...well, shit. Well, his powerful move is on lockdown, and I think his Special is substandard. Finish it, Miho!
*Quick Attack* *Quick Attack* *Quick Attack* *PSYBEAM* *PSYBEAM*
Hot damn, Miho, when did you get competent?
...er, right then. Have a super potion. *BITE*
Gah! Why does the derp monkey know a decent move? Well, I know Servine is coming- Heinrich, get in there and get ready to bring the pain!
[Ja wohl!] *Scald*
Sweet Mew! Heinrich is useless, and the monkey is a beast? Has the world gone mad? Get in there Marvin, I'll put you up against that monkey any day of the week!
[Fighting one monkey at the orders of another. Ironic.] *Scald* *Scald* *Scald* *Scald* *Scald* *Water Pulse* *Razor Shell* *Razor Shell* *Razor Shell* *Razor Shell* *Razor Shell*
Aw yeah, when in doubt, take the stats.
Servine! It's on you!
Yech- Marvin v Grass is a no-go, Heinrich is still hurt, Gustave is at type disadvantage, Urkel and Miho have terrible Defense... only one thing for it, then! Teddy!
A few rounds of fisticuffs against the heavyweight? No problem! *Leaf Tornado*
Potions all around... *Mega Drain* *Leech Seed*
*Growth* *Will-o-Wisp* *Leaf Tornado*
Teddy can't deal enough damage to overcome Servine's lifegain, and Growth will eventually make him one-shot anything I've got...
Monk, who are you talking to?
What, you've never heard anyone think out loud before?
Well, yeah, but not this much, and not in the middle of a battle when that kind of thing telegraphs your moves.
I... shut up! Heinrich, make the switch while he can't Tornado you!
[BLITZKRIEG!] *Mega Drain* *Air Cutter* -Quick Claw- *Air Cutter* -Sitrus Berry- *Mega Drain* *Mega Drain*
[STAY DOWN] *Air Cutter* *Air Cutter* *Air Cutter*
Aw yeah, bitches
YES! Oh, that was satisfying- I think that was my best fight yet. I was all making smart switches and strategizin-
Why? Why can't I beat you?*
Because I'm the best- around! Nothing's gonna ever keep me down!
I'll beat you yet, I swear it!
Oh, you two are friends... That's nice, how you're helping each other get better by competing.*
Helping me get better, anyway.
Yeah, you won, we get it. C'mon, Elesa, lower the drawbridge so I can get to Driftveil.
Yeah, I'm sick of this- wait. You're taking us both?
Well, you both defeated me, so it only seemed fair.
...sweet Mew! You knew we were both coming here! You know aspiring trainers can't turn down a random fight, and you knew we wouldn't be looking for such a strong opponent this close to Nimbasa! You were hoping we'd kill each other's Pokemon so we couldn't continue our League Challenge!
Actually, I was just hoping Cheren could kill your
Pokemon- it's obvious he's been cheating right along.
What! It has not
Yes it has, dear. You hackers always think you are more clever than you are. We aren't stupid, we just don't care.
Why!?! What do you have to gain from challengers making a mockery of our judicial system?
Oh, it isn't all as dramatic as you're making it out to be. In the unlikely event Cheren makes it through the Elite Four, fights the Champion and wins
, we can invalidate his claim because of his cheating.
Oh yeah? What about me? I'm not cheating, and my matches are well publicized- you can't cover me up!
True- I just don't expect you to survive much longer. Are we going to the bridge, or not?
Route 5 is like this, with more trailers and hippies, less fashion sense
It's a somewhat frosty group that walks down Route 5 towards Driftveil Drawbridge, a mood completely at odds with the festival atmosphere. As we pass the various musicians, Elesa slows down, scanning the crowd.
Hey, what's the holdup?
There's someone here I think you should meet.
Oh! Why, if it isn't Elesa! Aren't festivals grand?*
Hey, I've met a lot of random people, but I'd like to move on now. Feels like I've been here for months.
Why the hurry? Life should be enjoyed!*
Who is this man?*
This is Alder, the Unova region's Champion.*
Champion!?! Why would the Champion be goofing off in a place like this?*
I heard that remark. You're quite a judgmental young person, are you not? For your information, I'm not goofing off, I'm on a voyage. I know every corner of Unova.*
Um. I'm Cheren, from Nuvema Town. My goal as Trainer is to become Champion.*
And I am Monk- my father is Nuvema Town's Baron. I also seek the Championship.
Hm. Traveling with a goal in mind is a commendable thing. And what do you plan to do after becoming the Champion?*
Well, for starters I plan to improve the lot of the common man- your policies, and the policies of your predecessors make it impossible for travel and trade to flourish, and people are at the mercy of their noble's whims.
I see. And you think the best way to change this is to take the League Challenge? So you can become Champion?
What else is there other than striving to be stronger? The strongest Trainer- that's the Champion.*
Hmm. Becoming stronger... Becoming stronger, you say... Is that alone enough of a goal? It's not that I'm trying to say your way of thinking is wrong... In my travels I've helped many people learn to love Pokemon. I think that's important too.*
Really? That does not seem to mesh up with your actions at all.
If you play with those children, you might gain more of an understanding. Will you two have a Pokemon battle with those two? Hey you two, come here for a moment.*
A double battle? Sure, we'll play!
...Understood.* Let me heal your Pokemon, Monk- this'll be tough.
You think? They're just children.
And who's killed most of your Pokemon?
...Understood. Let's do this!
Herdier? Holy crap, they're level 23- these kids could make a go at beating Elesa! Well, maybe not, but still! Tell ya what, Cheren, you can take them on- I'll sit this one out with Teddy.
But Teddy can't hurt them- they're normal, and he's a ghost!
And they can't hurt him! Have fun, Cheren!
I'll give'm something to worry about! *CRUNCH*
Oh bugger- so much for that strategy. Marvin, curbstomp them!
[I'll show these punks who's bo-]
*Take Down* *Take Down* 1 HP
SWEET MEW! Cheren, why aren't you doing something!
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were sitting this one out?
If Urkel can get off one hit, I should be able to drop one of them, and then the battle's won.
[Alright, my time to sh-]
*Take Down* *Take Down*
DAMN KIDS! Why don't you pick on the Liepard for a change?
He isn't a threat.
Besides, you're kindof a dick.
...I've got enough potions, I can wait for you to run out of PP.
We'll crit eventually.
I HATE EVERYTHING. *Helping Hand*
Finally, an opening! *Brick Break* *Brick Break*
Nicely done, kids! You didn't win, but that was a good battle. Your Pokemon looked like they were having fun.*
Are... are they dead?
What do I look like, a doctor? Go to a Pokecenter or something, I don't know. Come on, guys, we're done here.
Yes sir, Champion sir!
What? You were recording this whole thing?
Naturally- I just wanted footage of you beating up on a couple of preschoolers. Thanks for acting like a jerk, that was an unexpected bonus. The "I Hate Everything" soundbyte in particular will get some mileage.
So that "houlier than thou" routine was just an act?
I thought you were the smart one. You may be noble, Cheren, but you're a known cheater. Monk may be legit, but after my PR guys are through the common man won't brake if they see him crossing the street. Y'know, assuming they could afford cars.
You're a right bastard, you know that?
Yes, yes, boo hoo. Listen, I've got a secretary who needs bangin, so I've got to go. Toodles!
Let's roll- Driftveil Bridge is just ahead.*
The Champion is the strongest of the strong! That's all there is to it.*
Yeah, no amount of trickery on his part will stop me kicking his ass! Let's go, Cheren.
NEXT TIME: Driftveil City
Suggestions, Comments, Criticism welcome as always.
Nuvema Town- "Marvin", Oshawott
Route 1- XXX
Accumula Town- ??
Route 2- "Pompey", Lillipup 6-12
Striaton City- ??
Dreamyard- "Mojo Jojo", Pansear 10-12
Route 3- "Timon", Patrat 8-15
Wellspring Cave- "Cletus", Woobat 11-14
Nacrene City- ??
Pinwheel Forest- "Heinrich", Pidove
Castelia City- ??
Route 4- "Urkel", Scraggy
Desert Resort- "Gustave", Sandile
Nimbasa City- ??
Route 5- "Miho", Gothita
Route 16- "Oscar", Trubbish
Relic Castle- "Teddy", Yamask
Lostlorn Forest- "Himmler", Tranquill
Driftveil Drawbridge- ??
Driftveil City- ??
Route 6- ??