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[Flaming Toadstool]

P.S.  Flaming Toadstool has been dorfed as a Furnace operator (in training)

Thank you. I hope I die in the most dwarfenly way possible. If it not much of a bother, could I see my dwarfs description?

[Gyvon]

Flaming Toadstool's description

Valican has been dorfed as a Hoplite

16th Felsite

The elven caravan from Ririli Hippie Yipi has arrived at last

18th Felsite

Had our trader buy Food, booze, bins of cloth, and a black bear

Valican: "Why did you buy a bear?

Gyvon: "To protect my shit."

Valican: "Why?  We have plenty of dogs running around."

Gyvon: "Dude, you can get by a dog.  Nobody fucks with a bear."

Valican:  "Touche."

19th Felsite

While excavating marble, our miners report finding another hematite vein.

20th Felsite

The gem setter, Erith has withdrawn from society and claimed the jeweler's shop and one turquoise.

22nd Felsite

Been sparring with Morul the past couple of days.  He seems to be learning a lot from me.

25th Felsite

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

While I prefer not to rule by fear, I gotta admit, this will look kick-ass in the dungeons.  If I ever get around to building them, that is.

[Basque]

If you use that chain in the dungeons Dwarfs will probably be happier to be arrested than sleep in their own bedroom. XD

I laughed at the Bear conversation too! XD I know Grizzly Bears are more popular than Black Bears because they're trainable, but if you get a breeding pair of any kind of bear that would be awesome!

It does seem like you really have a lot of iron if you've discovered another vein. Not to mention all the marble for flux. the only thing you should need for steel is the coal, and I know you have a lot of wood to burn. I think you're very well set for your metal industry. You talked earlier about getting the leather industry going, is there anything else you're going to try and get up and running?

Thanks for the update! ^^

[Carpman]

Watching with interest, can you dwarf me as a marksdwarf? Put me on patrol duty 

Valican: "Why did you buy a bear?

Gyvon: "To protect my shit."

Valican: "Why?  We have plenty of dogs running around."

Gyvon: "Dude, you can get by a dog.  Nobody fucks with a bear."

Valican:  "Touche."

Grandma's Boy reference? 

[Flaming Toadstool]

Sweet, I am a girl dwarf.

Also, you should totally breed bears and make an army out of them.

[Gyvon]

Watching with interest, can you dwarf me as a marksdwarf? Put me on patrol duty 

Valican: "Why did you buy a bear?

Gyvon: "To protect my shit."

Valican: "Why?  We have plenty of dogs running around."

Gyvon: "Dude, you can get by a dog.  Nobody fucks with a bear."

Valican:  "Touche."

Grandma's Boy reference? 

Never saw it.  I did see a Phoenix Wrong parodying it though.  Added to Dorf list.

[Gyvon]

26th Felsite

Zuglar is just standing around doing nothing, the lazy bum.  He's an animal caretaker, so I told him to go "take care" of some animals running around the surface

30th Felsite

By the bones of Durek, how hard is it to kill a fucking deer, Zuglar?

3rd Hematite

Since hunting has been lousy lately, I have ordered all male puppies killed.  The females get to live to adulthood.

10th Hematite

Wood supplies are running dangerously low.  Since the elves have left long ago, I have ordered more trees cut down.

4th Malachite

Zulgar and Urdim have decided to hunt a panda that has wandered on the scene.  Turns out, they can be pretty darn fast if they want to be.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

12th Malachite 

After a long stalk, the panda has been killed.  I hope the taste is worth the wait.

19th Malachite

More migrants.  This time we get a tanner, beekeeper/surgeon, a peasant who has been drafted into the Marksdwarf squad, a suturer, who has been drafted into the main squad, two animal caretakers, an animal trainer, and a bone carver.  Our population sits at 49 dwarves.

1st Galena
Some of the citizens are complaining about the lack of variety in the vegetable department.  In response, i have ordered quarry bushes grown.

Carpdwarf has been dorfed

[UltraValican]

Thanks for the dwarf, and great story by the way

[Gyvon]

Apologies for not updating over the weekend.  Got a little busy.  This is an extra long update with more pictures than average to make up for it.

And now back to your regularly scheduled madness

3rd Galena

The new animal trainer says that she can train the bear I bought into a warbear.  I order kennels built.

7th Galena

The bear is now fully trained.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I station it in the passage between the stockpiles and trade depot.

12th Galena

A human caravan has arrived

16th Galena

Traded some rock crap for food, booze, leather, cloth, and a bar of aluminum.  It'll make a great statue for the memorial garden

17th Galena

There's this weird *twang*ing and *thock*ing coming from below the barracks.

18th Galena

Upon further inspection, it's the marksdwarf squad training at the archery targets!  I never expected them to be used when I built them.  I thought that marksdwarves were only good at loitering in the main hall, letting what little skill they had rust away.

1st Limestone

Another puppy is born

2nd Limestone

I've gotten numerous complaints about the dogs.  Oh,m they're cute and all, but it seems that most of the citizens don't like the fact that they have to watch what has been colorfully described as "hardcore dog on dog action" when they're trying to eat.  I've taken those complaints to heart, and had the miners dig an enclosure for the breeding stock.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

5th Limestone

As added protection, I have ordered the construction of a Great Alunite Wall and Basalt Archery Tower on the surface.  This way invaders won't be able to attack from all directions at once.

14th Limestone

Morul has grown attached to his shield.  Also, the human caravan has left.

16th Limestone

The wall and tower are finished

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

22nd Limestone

The engineers have approached me and said that they have completed something they call a "Danger Room", which they claim would increase training efficiency "by 1000 fold".  I am suspicious of these claims, but anything that makes training easier is a godsend

23rd Limestone

The autumn migrant wave has arrived.  it includes a weaver, a miner, a farmer, a beekeeper, a potash maker, a bone doctor, and 2 kids.

2nd Sandstone

Sibrek has been possessed and claimed a craftdwarf shop.

3rd Sandstone

Sibrek gathered up horse and water buffalo calf bones and started building something.

4th Sandstone

The trap corridor has been half finished for too long.  I ordered Cheveux to make large steel discs.

7th Sandstone

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's a nice shield.

8th Sandstone

Valican and I have decided to dwarf up and test out the Danger Room.  Let me paraphrase:

"OW! SHIT! OW! WHOSE! OW! FUCK! IDEA! OW! PISS! FUCK! WAS THIS?!

9th Sandstone

Morul decided to see what all the fuss was about.  Valican took this opportunity to bail, saying he left his car running.  I was too distracted to ask what the fuck a car was.

17th Sandstone

We have gotten out of the Danger Room alive.  Zulban has decided to throw a party in celebration

2nd Timber

Cheveux has created her first masterpiece, a stack of steel bolts.

4th Timber

I have been informed that we are out of empty barrels and pots.  I have ordered the production of more.

10th Timber

The gem setter, Erith, has created a marvelous decoration for one of the silver goblets

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That'll fetch a fine price from the caravan.

14th Timber

It seems Carpdwarf is as blind as a BatMan.  He didn't spot the snatcher until it was right next to him

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He still managed to shoot it in the chest, but the snatcher ran away, because Carpdwarf decided that putting his shoe in a cabinet was more important, the lazy bum.

[Flaming Toadstool]

What is it with dwarfs and their obsession with shoes/socks anyways?

[Gyvon]

16th Timber

The caravan and liason has arrived.

20th Timber

Bought food, an aluminum bar, and a cat.  The traders had no booze, even though I asked for some.  Placed an even larger order of booze for next year.  Hopefully they won't drink it all this time

I offered 14000 Dorfbucks worth of Silver Goblets to the King.  The mountainhomes want fish and blocks next year.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

22nd Timber

Meng engraved a masterpiece

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

23rd Timber

Valican and I are sparring.  He's getting pretty good with that spear.  Also, Cheveux made an aluminum statue from that bar I bought.  It's going into the main hall.

2nd Moonstone

Meng made another masterwork engraving

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

3rd Moonstone

Tossid, one of the newbies, asked to enlist in the militia.  After seeing his spear skill, I agreed.

4th Moonstone

More puppies.  If we don't do something soon, we'll be up to our eyeballs in shedded fur.

8th Moonstone

As a "team building" exercise, and a way to see how Tossid handles stressful situations, I have ordered the squad into the danger room.  Morul, Valican, and I are getting better at dodging and blocking the spears, but Tossid had trouble, and suffered minor bruising.  However, he handled himself well, and I believe he'll make an excellent addition to the team.

In other news, Cheveux has created a masterwork steel battleaxe.

10th Moonstone

I have gotten word that the caravan are packing up.  I order the marksdwarf squad into the tower to make sure any skulking thieves don't use the traders as cover for sneaking into the fort.

15th Moonstone

The caravan has left the fortress.  I leave the marksdwarf squad in the tower, just in case.  Also, Puppy Holocaust II has been initiated.

24th Moonstone

Puppy Holocaust II is over.  Now we have more than enough meat and luxurious, some would say extravagant, puppy leather.

1st Opal

I have Cheveux making steel weapons constantly.  This has caused our steel stocks to run dangerously low.  I have ordered the production of more.

5th Opal

Cheveux has been cranking out masterwork axes.  This is her fourth one.  Too bad we don't have any skilled axedwarves to put them to use.

9th Opal

I have ordered the marksdwarf squad to stand down.  Looks like we'll be thief free this season.

10th Opal

Flaming Toadstool has withdrawn from society and claimed a magma forge.  As best we can tell, she wants nickel silver, cut gems, and cloth.  I have ordered more gems cut, we have more than enough cloth, but we don't have a single molecule of nickel silver.  I have ordered our engineers to think of something.

In other news, a werewolf attacked and chased a pig around on the surface before being put down by Valican.  Congratulations are in order for his first kill.


Sorry, Toadstool, but unless I can cheat the reaction, it looks like your dwarf is gonna die.  Hopefully my plan will work.

[Flaming Toadstool]

That is alright. Drop her into some magma

[Gyvon]

11th Opal

To protect against future werewolf incursions, I have ordered cage traps constructed in the wall's passageways.

17th Opal

It seems initial reports of Flaming Toadstool wanting Nickel Silver were false.  It appears she wanted steel, and the only thing holding her up was the lack of cut gems.  She has begun a mysterious construction using a steel bar, a cut amethyst, and two bolts of cloth.

25th Opal

Flaming Toadstool has finished Kumil Ethes, "The Armory of Glistening", a steel goblet.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

6th Obsidian

The cage traps are completed.

15th Obsidian

The cage traps have caught a skulking thief!  The prisoner has been charged with "being a Goblin on a sunny day", and sentenced to death.  Construction of the execution pit has begun.

17th Obsidian

Another thief has been caught.  The execution pit is not yet finished.

19th Obsidian

Two dwarfs ran up to me and collapsed from exhaustion.  Before passing out they each passed along a message.

"GOBLINS!", said the first one

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"WHITE TIGERMEN!", said the second

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ok, we can handle this.  First off, I order everyone inside (ooc:  There has got to be an easier way to do this than individually selecting dwarves into a burrow).  Next, I order the Depot's drawbridge closed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then, I stationed the melee squad behind the trap corridor to mop up any survivors.

Any animals topside are on their own.

20th Obsidian

Ok, all of the goblins have been caught in the cage traps.  Those things have already paid for themselves.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

one problem down, one to... Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When I find out who caused that breach, I WILL HAVE THEIR BEARD MOUNTED ABOVE MY MANTLE!!!  NOW MOVE, MEN!  They'll be swarming the workshops before we know it!!

22nd Obsidian

After an intense battle in the corridor connecting the Volcano Hematite Vein to the workshops, the White Tigerman are scattering. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The aftermath

One even ran through the Trap Corridor in a panic.  He still made it halfway through, which I found impressive.  Nevertheless, I order the breach in the mountain sealed posthaste.

Also, while we were distracted, it appears that a couple of Hellfire Imps tried to sneak in during the siege and were caught in the cage traps.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 I don't know what I'm going to do with them.  Can't execute them without needlessly risking my dwarves lives.  Maybe I could tame them.  They'd make great fortress guards if it were possible.

23rd Obsidian

In lighter news, Carpdwarf has given birth to a baby boy!

It seems that winter is an eventful season in this world.

[UltraValican]

Did my dwarf get any kills?

[Gyvon]

You got two kills, I got three, and Morul beat us both with five.  That makes 11 kills total, counting the one who ran through the trap corridor.