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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 336310 times)

Elisebambi

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Be serious or funny gaiz, your choice.


So, try to follow the form of

urist mcfirstposter:
How can dwarves, mining out a 1z level tall, surface level thing, cause a cave-in by carving upwards ramps?

urist mcsecondposter:
Dwarf Phsyics.
Why do dwarves run from hoary mammots?

urust mcthirdposter:
Because of the [something] tag in the raws.
or
Because they know that you will give them more goblinite socks if they cancel building the walls.

:D

Go for it?

Also

Quote
urist mcfirstposter:
How can dwarves, mining out a 1z level tall, surface level thing, cause a cave-in by carving upwards ramps?
My question. :(
...
...
its because of trees isn't it.
OH WELL, start the fail train.... NOW!
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Number4

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[Insert overcomplicated and unhelpful answer involving magma]
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Thanks for the suggestion, but Number4 is correct: [...] it would be easier and more predictable to just be a racist.

Did somebody just rule 34 two veins of metal?

Elisebambi

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Where is your question! :O

Why is the sky blank? :o
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accoro

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edit - stupid reply. disregard
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Stand there pondering all the great mysteries of the DF universe.  The last thing going through his head being of course the Atom Smasher.

Girlinhat

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Creatures are incapable of looking upwards, of course.  That's why hatches are invulnerable from underneath and you don't know what the ceiling is when you mine into unexplored spaces.  Archers fire and dwarves run away from creatures above them because they sense them using a method similar to a shark's Lorenzo Organ.

What happens to water that flows off the map?

Lezard

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Where is your question! :O

Why is the sky blank? :o

The sky isn't blank, there's the face of a giant scowling sociopath squinting at some ASCII characters and drinking...
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Currently I have "The Breached Anus of brides"  sounds like a disastrous honey moon.
Exactly. Ethics in DF are very realistic - trivial and pointlessly selectively ex/inclusive.

Elisebambi

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Quote
What happens to water that flows off the map?

It teleports into all the aquifers.


Why don't melancholy dwarves just leap down the stairs ffs.
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Excedion

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Quote
What happens to water that flows off the map?

It teleports into all the aquifers.


Why don't melancholy dwarves just leap down the stairs ffs.

Cause if they dont die its a pain in the ass walking back up them

Why don't the goblins attack me more even though i have more riches than they could ever dream of?
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If adamantine is perfectly rigid, as shown by having 0 strain at fracture in the raw files, then the speed of sound in the metal approaches the speed of light. Adamantine musical instruments would produce ultrasonic vibrations, and cut off the fingers of the musician.

Number4

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Why don't the goblins attack me more even though i have more riches than they could ever dream of?

Because some random flowing water has swept them offmap.

How is it possible that dwarven syrup has 5 times the nutritional value of dwarven sugar?
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Thanks for the suggestion, but Number4 is correct: [...] it would be easier and more predictable to just be a racist.

Did somebody just rule 34 two veins of metal?

Fedor

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Why don't the goblins attack me more even though i have more riches than they could ever dream of?

Because some random flowing water has swept them offmap.

How is it possible that dwarven syrup has 5 times the nutritional value of dwarven sugar?
Because it was a requested item in a past donation drive, and sugar Toady put in himself.


...

(j/k)


Question:  Why are all blows taken when lying on the ground head shots?
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Fedor Andreev is a citizen of the Federated Endeavor. He is a member of the Wandering Minds.

Crustypeanut

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Because if you can't hit 'em in the head while they're moving, you do so AFTER you've chopped off their limbs or broken their bones!

Why is it, when you tell them to deconstruct a 1-tile wide path over a river, that they deconstruct the ends first while all their friends and the entire fort's worth of children are still on the path, sending them all to their watery graves and puncturing a hole in three levels of your fort that ends up flooding everything?
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Specialsurprise - a Tale of ‼Medicine‼ and ‼Science‼ !

Theifofdreams

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Because the ensuing waterfall is really nice to look at.

Why is it that the dwarfs keep eating plump helmets even though there aren't enough to make enough booze for everyone, let alone have some left over?

Alestom

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Because Dwarves feel the need to cry about stuff that they brought upon themselves!


Why is it that the dwarves will end up slaughtering eachother and vast hoards of goblins, yet run away from badgers?
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If I had my time again, I know Id be a fighting man

In far Malay or Vietnam, Though I am more a lover

TheeBaconman

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Because Dwarves feel the need to cry about stuff that they brought upon themselves!


Why is it that the dwarves will end up slaughtering eachother and vast hoards of goblins, yet run away from badgers?

Because dwarves don't want to sully their reputation killing lowly creatures.

Why is it that dwarves continually pick up equipment, and then put it back into the box?
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"A stupid is, a stupid dies." -Tribes 2

Think of the children?!
You sick freak.

iyaerP

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Because Dwarves feel the need to cry about stuff that they brought upon themselves!


Why is it that the dwarves will end up slaughtering eachother and vast hoards of goblins, yet run away from badgers?

Because dwarves don't want to sully their reputation killing lowly creatures.

Why is it that dwarves continually pick up equipment, and then put it back into the box?

Because as it turns out, that equipment was actually assigned to somebody else, who may or may not still be in the squad, in the military, or even alive.

Why are my dwarves incapable of correctly using soap and water to wash themselves?
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Christ, are you dwarves or are you elves? If you think Hell has too many demons, then youkill them till the population reaches an acceptable number.
Dwarf Fortress: So horrifying the players would rather talk about nice things, like Warhammer 40k.
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