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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 445936 times)

Komra

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Strange moods come to be from a mixture of the industrial nature of dwarves and mental pressure from the hive mind. Over time, a dwarven hive will dream up the image of a new artifact, the idea of which is passed on to the dwarf most fit to produce it (The process behind this choice is mysterious at best). If the individual fails their task, the anger of the hive mind turns against them and crushes their psyche. Upon success, however, any memories pertaining to the relevant trade are passed on to the crafter as a reward. Since possessions are from an outside force, this reward does not occur in those unfortunate instances.

Martial trances, on the other hand, occur due to the latent bloodlust of all dwarvenkind. When a recruit is conscripted, the hive forces new glands of performance-enhancing natural drugs (such as adrenaline and odd, fast-acting steroids) to quickly form which can be activated subconsciously in times of distress.

Why does a falling object of any material and size always have great potential for damage?

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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Blizzlord

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Because dwarven quantum physics make the smaller objects have more impact due to a mystical energy that is working against its speed suddenly disappearing at impact.

Why is dwarven thermodynamics more dwarfy than it needs to be?
Yes, something can be too dwarfy.
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
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StreetPizza

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Armok tried creating a universe with non-dwarven thermodynamics before once, but that universe ended up getting ahold of silly concepts like "science" and "reasoning" because the laws of physics were actually (for the most part) logical and understandable. Now, with objects having the capacity for perpetual motion, the Einsteins and Newtons of the dwarfoverse can do nothing but scratch their heads in confusion. And maybe get eaten by zombie carp.

Why did Mr. and Mrs. Urist McCantstopboning bring their three children to my fortress instead of migrants that could actually be useful?
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Komra

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Children are the future, and most dwarves don't have much of one to speak of. Treat those parasites as something precious.

How did wagons evolve to their present state?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

GoombaGeek

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1x1 wagons were all killed by angry elves who mistook them for dead trees, so only 1x2 wagons survived, but these ones tipped over and broke, so then they moved up to 2x2, until they reached the present balance of 3x3, too big to be murdered yet too small to implode and bruise everyone's internal organs with dust.

Why are dwarfs only restricted to bringing 1,274 points worth of crap with them on embark?
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pisskop

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(it is 1324 now, for wheelbarrow...)

Because of the economic collaspe of the dwarf pre-history(old versions) Every dwarf gets 182 dwarfbucks at their time of birth.  They also become feudal peasants.  It costs exactly 182 dwarfbucks to buy freedom.  Those who save it get to go on a pillgrimage to a new hell fortress, while those greedy nobles stay safe surrounded by the feudal servants.

Why do goblins not make necro-towers?  Or demons?
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

crazysheep

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Because they are immortal, they already know the secrets of life and death.

Why can't dwarves drink gnomeblight?
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Blizzlord

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Because cooked meals are worth more than filthy gnomeblight. Expensive food is automatically better.

How did Bay 12 manage to get this twisted, mental and insane without the use of bigotry?
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

StreetPizza

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!!Fun!! is an equal opportunity employer.

Why won't trade caravans bring their wagons through my trap-filled corridor, even though it's wide enough?
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Graknorke

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They might give away everything they own in return fror tattered clothes, but they're not completely stupid. The wagons know to  keep away from traps.

What would happen to the dwarf kingdoms when their mines run dry of ore and there is no space to harvest stone?
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crazysheep

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Use reactions to produce steel, bronze and other alloys from nothing. Also, obsidian farming.

Why can't you construct magma wood furnaces? (fun fact: all of the furnaces except wood furnaces have a magma-powered counterpart)
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pisskop

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Because magma turns the wood into smoke.  It would be akin to poison gas.

Where is the explosive gunpowder or dynamite?
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

misko27

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The dwarfs who invent it have explosives, ergo they don't live long enough to tell people about it.

Why does no other civilization encounter FBs, depite being supposedly capable of entering the caverns and often taking stuff from there (according to legends)?
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Komra

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The other civs remember the FB's. They are only forgotten to the dwarves, and they are ambush predators, so only the dwarves are attacked.

What do the elder dwarves do if their children stick their tongues to a nether-cap?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

GoombaGeek

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The other civs remember the FB's. They are only forgotten to the dwarves, and they are ambush predators, so only the dwarves are attacked.

What do the elder dwarves do if their children stick their tongues to a nether-cap?
Burn the nether-cap. If it doesn't burn then they go grab a surgeon.

How do constructed ice walls stand up to pressurized (screw pumps) magma?

"Man, Urist, your pump designs are all over the floor! What happened?"

"I got bored. Screw pumps."

AWWWWWW YEAH
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My wooden badge was delicious.
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