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[WanderingKid]

Q: Will dwarven civilization ever find a way to domesticate and train Giant War Sponges?

If dwarves ever have a need to weaponize bathing, they will.

Q: Why do ghosts either one-shot dwarves or just hang around being annoying?

[Eric Blank]

Because dwarven ghosts are still dwarven at heart, and thus either homicidally insane or F^&(*#) ECSTATIC, which manifests by making them extremely difficult to live with.

Why do elves keep coming back even though every caravan they send is slaughtered?

[klefenz]

They dont care. If they die you dump their remains out there, where they rot and eventually become absorbed by the plants, so they become trees.

Why so many demons become leaders of human civilizations by impersonating gods? are the humans stupid or what?

[WoobMonkey]

Demons are the only ones who understand the entire Byzantine structure of human law; hence they tend to be the law-givers.

Now, I'll try this one again:

Why don't dwarves recognize that an animal assigned to a chain doesn't need to be pastured anymore?

[Thief]

Causethey have fake brains.....
Why do see my dwarves fall into a river and drown them selves

[Larix]

Causethey have fake brains.....

Not very satisfactory. That could be used as answer for every "why do dwarfs..." question, including your own.

Why do see my dwarves fall into a river and drown them selves

Because you're watching, motivating them to show off and impress you with their swimming skills (which they keep forgetting they don't have). It's all your fault!

With the lack of basic hygiene, how come dwarven settlements are never ravaged by cholera, diarrhea, food poisoning etc.?

[WoobMonkey]

Because dwarves drink 180 proof rum - no hostile bacteria can survive the sheer level of astringents in the average dwarf's bloodstream!  This is also why they don't get infected until after they're in the hospital; water doesn't provide the level of immuno-protectivity they usually enjoy.

Why don't dwarves ever make their children clean their rooms up?

[MeTekillot]

Because a child does as it pleases!

Why do dwarfs run DOWN a staircase at the end of my to-be cistern, instead of up the staircase to escape the rapidly approaching water?

[Thief]

Because COMMON SENSE YOU NEED TO BUILD THE CHEESE GUILD COLLOSEUM

[Niccolo]

Because COMMON SENSE YOU NEED TO BUILD THE CHEESE GUILD COLLOSEUM

Don't Drink and Post.

[Sumyunguy]

Why do dwarfs run DOWN a staircase at the end of my to-be cistern, instead of up the staircase to escape the rapidly approaching water?

A: Because the are some designated walls down there, and walls don't build themselves! -Urist McMasonDwarf (Deceased)

Q: Why do dwarves not advance technologically, using the same techs for thousands of years?

[Monk321654]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
This here Atom Smasher can still hold off goblin sieges to this very day, and a cave-in trap is all you need for the big beasts.
Now excuse me while I try to cross this river at the waterfalls edge.
Urist McStuborn has died after colliding with an obstacle.

How many goblins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[jcochran]

Can't answer that, goblins aren't dwarves.

Where do the things smashed by bridges go?

[Tarqiup Inua]

Can't answer that, goblins aren't dwarves.

Where do the things smashed by bridges go?

To the older 2D versions of the DF.

Why can't we make armour out of dragon scales?

[klefenz]

Because this isnt Skyrim.

How can a goblin be full of bolt holes and still not bleed to death?