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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 297369 times)

Lazy_lizard

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Because your cats ate them.

why does it take a super computer to run a game with 8-bit graphics?
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MaximumZero

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Because a normal computer couldn't handle the geological simulations. (Seriously.)

Why don't possessed dorfs gain any skill?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

fergus

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Because the possessor gains the skill instead.

Why do masons build walls from the wrong side?
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BY THE GODS! THIS QUOTE MADE MY SIG BOX HAVE A SCROLL BAR! HAPPY DAYS INDEED!
BY THE GODS! YOU HAVE TOO MANY SIGS!

WolfeyS

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Because when they do the thing and it and I can't even answer that.  They want to seal themselves into their own little tomb?

Why do (semi) megabeasts make peace with other beings in an arena?
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You just know you're screwed when a dwarf dies of old age.

Wirevix

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Because the real ultimate evil of the game is dwarves, so they're forming alliances against the horrors of your fortress.

Why do my dwarves insist that the pointless rock-craft artefacts on the front lawn are sacred and  must not be touched?  They're kobold bait out there!  Put them in the stockpile, you drunks!
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In other news, the trees in my game can have invisible sex.

Lemunde

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Because they're forbidden or outside of their burrow or dwarf science. If all else fails you can always hide them.

Why does my sheriff insist on strangling all perpetrators to death even though there's 10 empty cages marked as jails?
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WolfeyS

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Because... I always use restraints as jails, or just kill my prisoners!  Your sheriff hungers for death!

Why are elves so fucking retarded annoyingly dumb?
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You just know you're screwed when a dwarf dies of old age.

Pray_for_Snow

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Science Answer: By not ingesting plant life, they are missing a few key vitamins in their diets, and as such their brains are incredibly prone to malfunctioning.


!!SCIENCE!! Answer: Elves are the offspring of trees and a really drunk God. Of course they are idiotic.
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This is an Artefact Thread. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with text and images of various dwarves. It menaces with spikes of data.

My X-COM UFO Defense LP. Finals Week Hiatus.

Mitchewawa

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Yep.

Out of 120 dwarfs, 40 of them are children and babies. Why are my dwarfs such Casanova fuck machines?
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

WolfeyS

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Yep.

Out of 120 dwarfs, 40 of them are children and babies. Why are my dwarfs such Casanova fuck machines?

I laughed so hard.  What else are they going to do while not hauling/farming/burning wood?
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You just know you're screwed when a dwarf dies of old age.

Mitchewawa

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Yep.

Out of 120 dwarfs, 40 of them are children and babies. Why are my dwarfs such Casanova fuck machines?

I laughed so hard.  What else are they going to do while not hauling/farming/burning wood?

They don't even do that; I run off one farm, everything is currently in a stockpile and I use magma forges and coal. I mostly use them for OCDumping every single bit of clothing, useless armour and weapon into the atom smasher.

Twice I used children for Forgotten Beast bait trap though. They don't run as fast as adults  :(

And then BAM; thread derailed.
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

WolfeyS

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And then BAM; thread derailed.

NOT SO FAST, Why did he attempt to derail the thread?
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You just know you're screwed when a dwarf dies of old age.

Plutocrat

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Thread derailed because everyone here is OCD and ADHD, and then complain when their dwarfs act similarly in game.

Explain why everyone here hate elves?
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WolfeyS

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Elves are wimps who bring you wooden gear and they are weak and make nice punching bags, pincushions, and test subjects.  I'm not against them eating other sentients though, hell, I would too.
...
Main reason is they are elves.  What are you, some kind of elf?

Why do dwarves have such an affinity to useless clothing and bronze shit they grew attached to?
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You just know you're screwed when a dwarf dies of old age.

Plutocrat

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Dwarfs are social people, and yet they have trouble finding each other in the dark to have conversations anywhere that isn't a meeting area.Once there they simply shout out conversation to whomever might be there in the room with them. Dwarfs that don't get enough socialization start naming their possessions and talking to them eventually. WILSON! I'M SORRY WILSON! I'M SORRY.

Also elves are badass, they are honour driven to siege steel equipped dwarfs just for cutting a couple trees and are unfazed by a disgusting number of casualties.

Question: Why are elves are the only principled people in this crazy world obsessed with stone crafts and quotas?
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