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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 441257 times)

acetech09

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If you brought a military embark, fun. If you brought a typical embark, +«*Fun*»+.
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

Komra

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Could minecart rails made in magnetite veins be used as mass drivers?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Mr Frog

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Sure, same as any other minecart rail.

Why did pouring magma on a glacier leave behind more ice than there was when I started?
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A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

GoombaGeek

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Majickle ice turns ‼science‼ into ice x2. Repeat until every world is glacier.

How do fish get into the murky pools?
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Mr Frog

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Lungfish fly them in when you aren't looking.

Why did my pump stack successfully draw magma up to the surface for a short time despite not actually being hooked up to enough windmills to power it?
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A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

Corai

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Because the pump was scared of you.

Why can't I ever get !!FUN!!?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Megaman3321

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Because you're not trying.

Why can't tame GCS shot web?
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Glacial on dwarves being assigned socks:
Quote
You see, here's how I think this works:
Overseer: Welcome to the military! You need to wear socks! Dorf: Oh, I should get military socks. My socks are civilian socks. Dorf discards socks Dorf: You know, I need a whole lot of gear now. I should get socks... last. Oh, but these steel boots with the white goo on them are nice!
I know you can pick up water, then throw said water, while underwater, to kill a fish -He_Silent_H

GoombaGeek

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Tame GCS doesn't know how does it shot web. This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it). Domesticated animals are domesticated because the dwarves tamed their parents so hard that it scared their cells into obedience. Their natural instincts are totally gone.

How can ants make floating colonies over rivers, and make colonies out of ice?
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Megaman3321

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Simple: Ants in Dwarf Fortress are actually mini dwarves with serrated discs for teeth.

How can a support be attached to the sky?
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Glacial on dwarves being assigned socks:
Quote
You see, here's how I think this works:
Overseer: Welcome to the military! You need to wear socks! Dorf: Oh, I should get military socks. My socks are civilian socks. Dorf discards socks Dorf: You know, I need a whole lot of gear now. I should get socks... last. Oh, but these steel boots with the white goo on them are nice!
I know you can pick up water, then throw said water, while underwater, to kill a fish -He_Silent_H

Sus

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How can a support be attached to the sky?
Why, skyhooks of course. And those are held up by... oh look, a convenient distraction!

How can the mountainhomes, given they're located on uninhabitable mountains, survive worldgen?
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

pisskop

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They are uninhabitable because the mountainhomes drained, chopped, and mined their way through and out of resources, thus prompting expansion.  This inital expansion is known as year 1.

Why do the standard endturns of worldgen (125, 250, etc) stop genning at 124, 249, etc years?  There is no year '0' and the game starts the first of spring that last year.
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Komra

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Armok takes a year off between worlds.

Why can there only be one fortress in existence at one time?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

GoombaGeek

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Because two fortresses would result in twice the magma being irresponsibly poured over the landscape, so the It Burns Convention of The Age Of Myth limits the dwarves to one fortress at a time.

How do dwarves grab someone's tooth from behind?
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The Merchant Of Menace

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They shove their hands up the opponents *ahem* and grab it from the inside

How do dwarves keep a barrel inside a wheelbarrow which is inside a barrel?
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*Hugs*

GoombaGeek

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People read my thread! :D

Well, they simply pump the air out of the barrel to be placed inside with +gabbro mechanisms+ and a very small -fungiwood pipe section-, then place the barrel within and pull out the pipe. Within seconds, it inflates inside the wheelbarrow as large as it can get, leaving room to place another wheelbarrow within. How do they minaturize the wheelbarrows? They soak them with plump helmet dribble from their beards, causing them to shrivel up and dehydrate (even if they are metal!). They absorb the moisture from the atmosphere and are back to normal in about a day.

How do dwarves, who can be scared off by a goddamn bunny rabbit ten meters away, work up the nerve to grab a hive full of angry bees and put it in a little box?!
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