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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 441317 times)

klefenz

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They are afraid they may sparkle as well as puke on sunlight.

Why is it never nighttime in fortress mode?

Aslandus

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You don't need nighttime when you live in caves.

Why is slade so heavy?
It's made of demon tears, infamous for being obscenely heavy
How many dwarf hours does it take to build a lightbulb?

Monk321654

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One hour to collect the glass.
Two hours to melt it down.
Another hour to blow the glass into shape. (Dwarves are really slow about this part)
Yet another hour to put out the flames from hot glass exposure.
Three hours to realize that glass bulbs don't exist in this version, then quickly break it before Toady finds out.

Do dwarves ever attempt any mad science in the vein of Dr. Frankenstein?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

jcochran

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What do you think those threads about captured necromancers are about?

Why do dwarves survive as long as they do despite being so stupid?
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flame99

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Dwarves are so obscenely deadly and ruthless to the point that intelligence begins to become a synonym for expendable.

Why are dwarves so inextricably obsessed with !!FUN!! and the achieving thereof, despite the decidedly negative effect it has on their lifespan?
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It/its, they/them, in order of preference.

Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.

klefenz

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Because otherwise they would feel elfish

Why dont dwarves use salt for anything?

WoobMonkey

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They do.  It's great for building the second story of one's unicorn-soap walls.

Why don't dwarves ever ride their beasts into battle, like every other militant race?
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Edangzak Utharsanad Gedor - think you have what it takes?
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The dog misses the ball!
The ball softly hits Urist McTrainer in the head, breaking the paper-thin skull and denting the non-existent brain!

tahujdt

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Why don't dwarves ever ride their beasts into battle, like every other militant race?
Because the weight of a dwarf's beard alone is enough to break the back of most mounts.

Why, despite being so much like Kerbals, have dwarves not managed to strand themselves on the moon yet?
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I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
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Thief

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as the moon there is none lol
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Remind me never to leave you in charge of a fort that requires basic math to survive.

WoobMonkey

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Why don't dwarves ever ride their beasts into battle, like every other militant race?
Because the weight of a dwarf's beard alone is enough to break the back of most mounts.

Why, despite being so much like Kerbals, have dwarves not managed to strand themselves on the moon yet?

<ignoring the non-response above>

Because every time a Dwarf proposes a rocket program, somedorf remembers that sock storage alone would ruin the weight allowance, before even accounting for kitten fur in the air scrubbers.

Why don't dwarves train dogs to do tricks, outside of war and hunting? 
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Edangzak Utharsanad Gedor - think you have what it takes?
CharmCrafted

The dog misses the ball!
The ball softly hits Urist McTrainer in the head, breaking the paper-thin skull and denting the non-existent brain!

☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼

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The dog misses the ball!
The ball softly hits Urist McTrainer in the head, breaking the paper-thin skull and denting the non-existent brain!

Why does dehydration lead to sudden existence failure, rather than falling unconsious and slow death?
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Quote from: Necrisha
while I'm processing immigrants
Therefore, starve your metalsmiths for maximum gains.

WoobMonkey

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The dog misses the ball!
The ball softly hits Urist McTrainer in the head, breaking the paper-thin skull and denting the non-existent brain!



I just spewed coffee out my nose.  Mind if I sig this?
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Edangzak Utharsanad Gedor - think you have what it takes?
CharmCrafted

The dog misses the ball!
The ball softly hits Urist McTrainer in the head, breaking the paper-thin skull and denting the non-existent brain!

Aslandus

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Dwarfs are 99% water, and the remainder turns to dust because dorfs don't know any better than working until they drop dead.
Why can skins be raised by a necromancer, but leather can't?

☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼

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I just spewed coffee out my nose.  Mind if I sig this?
Huh. Sure, why not.
Fourth time I'm getting sigg'd : D
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Quote from: Necrisha
while I'm processing immigrants
Therefore, starve your metalsmiths for maximum gains.

Erils

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Dwarfs are 99% water, and the remainder turns to dust because dorfs don't know any better than working until they drop dead.
Why can skins be raised by a necromancer, but leather can't?
!!HERESY!! Dwarves are 99% alchohol!

Now about your question:
Leather is tanned and therefore incapable of  being ressurected due to dwarven tanning techniques that include magma.

Why do dwarves have paper-thin skulls in the first place?
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