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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 445753 times)

IndigoFenix

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Getting ready to rock.

If a headless corpse and a disembodied head can both be animated by a necromancer, why does chopping the head off of a zombie kill it?

Aslandus

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The necromancer union prefers that headed zombies use the head as a central magic point, so it needs to be re-raised when the head is severed from the body.

How do you make a harp out of rock?

Badger Storm

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Very slowly and with limited success.

Why isn't Tholtig Cryptbrain nearly as celebrated as Cacame Apebalded?
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Tawa

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Because of the Illuminati, of course.

Why are dorfs obsessed with grabbing dead bodies from caverns, leading to their untimely demise at the hands of gremlins and giant moles?
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Badger Storm

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No risk is too great if the rewards are turquoise-studded socks and troll fur thongs.

We have underwear in the form of said things, so why no bras?

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Eric Blank

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Dwarves don't have breasts of any sort. Even morbidly obese dwarves lack chest-floppers. It all goes to the hips.

Why do dwarves even care about clothes in the first place? It's not like they have anything to hide.
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Badger Storm

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To stay warm, duh.  Modesty sure isn't the reason I wear my coat and scarf outside.

Why can't kids learn skills using toy hammers or mini-forges?
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Max™

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They learn how to play with toy hammers and pretend to forge mini-weapons and mini-armor with them, of course.

Why don't bandits seem to have a more appropriate response to being disemboweled by the teeth of a 2 year old dorflet vampire than "death is all around us" and the like?
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Quartz_Mace

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No risk is too great if the rewards are turquoise-studded socks and troll fur thongs.
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CaptainMcClellan

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Some form of Dwarven altruism/compassion? The Dwarves are more moved by the sufferings of others than their own. Alternatively, they are simply in shock.

Someone compose a Dwarfy limerick

Aslandus

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There once was a Dorf named Urist
Who went out to grab socks from a tourist
He was soon found
And quickly struck down
When he discovered the goblin was armed

Dwarven poetry always breaks down after awhile, after all, musicality is always a dump stat...

How do weapon traps work?

TheFlame52

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Spring-loaded blades, connected in a way that makes them into perpetual motion machines. It's a dwarven secret.

Why do dwarves worship gods that let demons into the world?

Arcvasti

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Because NOT worshiping them invites their wrath? And no one wants to be turned into a vampire or werebeast arbitrarily. Also, the gods that don't let demons into the world or do stuff like that are benevolent, if inactive.

What is with goblins and them naming stuff after incest?
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CaptainMcClellan

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Because NOT worshiping them invites their wrath? And no one wants to be turned into a vampire or werebeast arbitrarily. Also, the gods that don't let demons into the world or do stuff like that are benevolent, if inactive.

What is with goblins and them naming stuff after incest?

Well... Goblins are evil for a reason, right?

Why are goblins evil anyway.

Max™

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You'd be too if you were a walking fashion catastrophe from birth, green and purple are impossible to coordinate with.

Why don't the dorf gods ever do anything interesting like vampire or werebeast curses?
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