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Author Topic: Dwarven... "Child Care"  (Read 528611 times)

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #210 on: August 19, 2011, 10:45:04 pm »

From Test Chamber #1...

Quote
Doren Legonzulban has been fine lately. He slept on a rough cave floor recently. ... He admired a fine Floor Grate lately. He was forced to drink vomit lately.

Wow. That was the first time I saw that. :o From the combat reports I think a water buffalo calf kicked a sheep in the guts, then the sheep barfed all over the floor grate that was the only source of water in the chamber...

So basically I just forced a child to drink sheep vomit.

"I haven't seen my parents in nearly a year, I can't move a foot in any direction, I spend all my days being attacked by animals, and I've been forced to drink sheep puke- wow that's a nice floor grate!"

evertuy

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #211 on: August 19, 2011, 10:47:27 pm »

river+floodgate+SUPPOSED DAYCARE CENTER=no more overpopulation


the best thing is the mothers dont know about it until later
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FluidDynamite

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #212 on: August 20, 2011, 12:24:50 am »

Well, the sheep-vomit drinking child suffocated, he had his spine broken after being kicked by said vomiting sheep. Interestingly the last entry of the child's combat report reads "The Dwarven Child loses hold of the groundhog meat roast", so I guess the sheep kicked him to death when he was trying to eat.

This sheep is so awesome.

EDIT: Second child tossed into the chamber. I also designated the chamber as a pond zone, so other dwarves will periodically dump buckets of cold, muddy water on the child's head just for teh lulz. Question: Can dwarves drink from the tile they're standing on? I'm considering submerging the chamber in 3/7 water so the child can train swimming at the same time.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2011, 01:11:28 am by FluidDynamite »
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Beardless

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #213 on: August 20, 2011, 02:48:45 am »

I'm considering submerging the chamber in 3/7 water so the child can train swimming at the same time.

I personally was thinking of a 1x1 room with grates for the floor and ceiling and running a waterfall through it. Waterfalls will cause construction cancellations, so I'm guessing they can train swimming too if you ensure enough water is falling at any particular time. If it prevents them from eating or sleeping, you could hook it up to a water-clock timer. (If it prevents them from drinking, I'm going to laugh.)

I have visions of dropping the subject in there with no way to get it out. They can get out when they've trained swimming high enough to swim up the waterfall. (Almost certainly wouldn't work, but it's a great image!)
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So it turns out that dumping magma on skeletons is either a really bad idea or maybe like the best idea ever.

Musashi

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #214 on: August 20, 2011, 04:21:34 am »

I have visions of dropping the subject in there with no way to get it out. They can get out when they've trained swimming high enough to swim up the waterfall. (Almost certainly wouldn't work, but it's a great image!)
As in, once they've turned into bearded salmons?
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

forumist

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #215 on: August 20, 2011, 04:55:08 am »

Reading your experiment reports, I'm wondering how you are going to put all those highly trained combat chickens an fighting sheep in use...
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Don't quote me on that.
Cacame channels aquifers into submission by staring at them. Cacame is so badass, kobolds give him their children to leave them alone. If Hidden Fun Stuff digs too far down, they hit Cacame. Cacame once took a Tantrum Spiral and impaled four enemies on it.

Beardless

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #216 on: August 20, 2011, 12:05:42 pm »

I have visions of dropping the subject in there with no way to get it out. They can get out when they've trained swimming high enough to swim up the waterfall. (Almost certainly wouldn't work, but it's a great image!)
As in, once they've turned into bearded salmons?

Heavily scarred and deeply traumatized bearded salmon.
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So it turns out that dumping magma on skeletons is either a really bad idea or maybe like the best idea ever.

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #217 on: August 20, 2011, 12:14:45 pm »

But..Swimming is useless...
...And it's detrimental to the experimentation process. After all, what if the animals don't follow?
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Crazy Cow

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #218 on: August 20, 2011, 12:26:59 pm »

I have visions of dropping the subject in there with no way to get it out. They can get out when they've trained swimming high enough to swim up the waterfall. (Almost certainly wouldn't work, but it's a great image!)
As in, once they've turned into bearded salmons?

Heavily scarred and deeply traumatized bearded salmon.

Heavily scarred and deeply traumatized bearded carp.

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #219 on: August 20, 2011, 07:25:13 pm »

Here's the newest report:

If I average the skill-increase rate for the new pods, it would come in at about one for every year and three quarters. This, however, is with chickens. I believe that if we were to use something slightly more vicious..A cat, perhaps..We could get better results. Perhaps a skill-increase every year, even. With a dog, that could be further increased.
However, currently, there have been zero losses, and no wounds beyond bruising. I have, however, lost several chickens to the children's counter-attacks. And what's more, they seem to have learned some trick from escaping the cells..Our scientists are checking for flaws now, but supposedly, it should be impossible to get in or out without using the proper levers.
Even having said that, we have two new promising candidates, both currently at the baby stage-They won't be ready to be weaponized for a year or so. I plan on giving them Athens-Class Pods(The new names I have dubbed to these creations,) with an upgraded pet. A Three cats should be optimal.
Should this not work out, the space will be reduced by one, while keeping the number of animals. This may optimize the spacing, and allow for the children to gain the most amount of training in this short amount of time.

There is some good news, however; Monom, the first of the Test Subjects, has reached Novice dodger, and will soon be followed in Fighter. That means that overall, his progression will at least allow him to be about third-to-fourth tier by the time he reaches adult, possibly meaning that he will only have to spend a year in the Danger-Room training.
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Ipwnurmom221

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #220 on: August 21, 2011, 05:52:57 pm »

And Bay12, in all its glory, did bring upon the dwarven realms mass child abuse, and the all-powerful pantheon did perfect this gift given unto dorfkind. And, in celebration, sheep vomit was consumed.
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"I haven't seen my parents in nearly a year, I can't move a foot in any direction, I spend all my days being attacked by animals, and I've been forced to drink sheep puke- wow that's a nice floor grate!"

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #221 on: August 26, 2011, 01:49:08 am »

Just to necro this: I'm going to begin some very specialized experiments for this tomorrow.  Expect screenshots of my Children of Armok Child Daycare Tower and detailed reports (unless I get bored).

NRDL

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #222 on: August 26, 2011, 01:56:27 am »

Just to necro this: I'm going to begin some very specialized experiments for this tomorrow.  Expect screenshots of my Children of Armok Child Daycare Tower and detailed reports (unless I get bored).

Goody. 
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Yag Alone

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #223 on: August 26, 2011, 03:54:56 am »

answering to a 5-day old thread is barely necromancy... More like resuscitation.
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loser

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #224 on: August 26, 2011, 10:03:19 am »

answering to a 5-day old thread is barely necromancy... More like resuscitation.
Nah, you just woke it up.

Like with salts or whatever.
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