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Author Topic: Dwarven... "Child Care"  (Read 426738 times)

UberNube

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #330 on: September 02, 2011, 08:35:24 pm »

This thread is AWESOME! The absolutely horrific acts being done here, combined with the attention to detail is just hilarious. This is definitely the new (and more disturbing) mermaid thread. I applaud all of you for you !!SCIENCE!!.

This guy gets it, the problem with the child torture dungeon is that they weren't set on fire first.

I've been looking for a new sig. I hope you don't mind.
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This guy gets it, the problem with the child torture dungeon is that they weren't set on fire first.

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #331 on: September 02, 2011, 11:26:30 pm »

New Chamber, New Fortress.
The chamber is 1x1, 2 cats, 1 child, no bed, no table, no chair. But the walls are made out of Exceptional Statues, and he's getting high-quality food.
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #332 on: September 02, 2011, 11:29:29 pm »

Exceptional statues of common stone?

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #333 on: September 02, 2011, 11:32:31 pm »

Unfortunately, yes.
We'll see how long he can hold out. I don't expect more then a month to a year.
The next will be pure gold.
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #334 on: September 02, 2011, 11:37:29 pm »

Yeah, insanity will abound here.

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #335 on: September 03, 2011, 12:57:40 am »

Agreed.
However, if I can be fortunate enough to get him to go into a rage, I have a plan..
..You see, there are certain dwarves in the Genesis Mod-That I'm using-That will allow for me to actually web the cage-traps I plan on putting in front of the wall in front of his Statue.
This will have to be done *after* the wall is deconstructed, but should actually allow for me to capture the now-enraged child, and release him upon my foes, as an angry, bearded, beacon of destruction.
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #336 on: September 03, 2011, 01:00:43 am »

Please disregard use of genesis mod as part of this.  While interesting I assume, it doesn't -really- contribute to the work of destroying young children's minds and bodies to reforge the scraps into hardened horrors.

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #337 on: September 03, 2011, 01:08:46 am »

Replace said dwarves with tamed Giant Spiders.
No mods, same effect, although I can't recall if they are able to be tamed, or if they're exotic/downright impossible.
It's the same effect, anyhow. In fact, you could probably use a well-timed lever-pull and the deconstruction to make it a nigh-instantaneous conversion, even if you can't tame it..You know, release the Spider as your guy is leaving, lock and tighten the hatch, let it web the trap, let the enraged kid charge it..Watch him get caught in the web, and then get trapped.

EDIT: FYI, I'm using normal cats, which means they gain no skills, and are, for all intents and purposes, ordinary cats. I'll also use Vanilla gold, as Sun Gold is for equipment only.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2011, 01:12:16 am by Eddren »
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #338 on: September 03, 2011, 01:43:41 am »

We're not training spiders.  Pets who take damage don't receive medical treatment and cannot be armored or armed.  Animals in warfare are currently only good as additional support, but you need a dwarven core of armed forces to function.  You can train animals, but the investment is worthless because the beast is naked and won't heal right.

And never use untame animals for any sort of training like this.  The death of one side is fairly instant.

Vicid

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #339 on: September 03, 2011, 01:44:41 am »

Because we can recruit mothers carrying babies in their arms and order them about I recommend we melt baby fat.
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Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #340 on: September 03, 2011, 01:45:32 am »

No, I mean keep it stationed Outside of the wall area.
That way, when the kid goes berserk, you can open the wall, let it throw its webs at the kid(Preferably from a chain,) and capture the kid.
You know, so you can release the enraged midget against your green foes?
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #341 on: September 03, 2011, 01:59:31 am »

Berzerk dwarves still starve, and die fairly quickly since any booze given to them is thrown during their tantrum.

Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #342 on: September 03, 2011, 02:13:54 am »

Eh, in that case, use their murderous rage to create a better future for the Fort..Unleash them against your Nobles.
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #343 on: September 03, 2011, 02:25:27 am »

That, is a plan I can get behind.

EDIT: This means, logically, that the turkeybox of horror should be installed directly adjacent, or above, a noble's room, to allow quick dropping of the berzerk child into the noble's bedroom.  If the noble kills the child, then he has earned the right to issue another mandate.  If he dies, then you lock the door and let the child run around smearing mayor blood on the wall.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2011, 02:26:59 am by Girlinhat »
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Eddren

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #344 on: September 03, 2011, 12:04:17 pm »

Yes...Now we have found a use for even one third of the failures!
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.
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