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Author Topic: Dwarven... "Child Care"  (Read 406268 times)

BastiBasti

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #435 on: December 30, 2011, 02:05:54 pm »


Is it just me that thinks DF has a over-active 'survival of the fittest moral', if you put 10 kittens into a room with a FB 9 will die and the other one will become a legendary fighter and kill it.
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Andreus

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #436 on: December 30, 2011, 02:11:09 pm »

You are objectively the worst person in the history of forever.

I love you, have my babies and train them to be implacable killing machines via this method.
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Pokon

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #437 on: December 30, 2011, 03:19:32 pm »

You are objectively the worst person in the history of forever.

I love you, have my babies and train them to be implacable killing machines via this method.

Baytwelvers in a nutshell.
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Di

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #438 on: December 30, 2011, 03:52:02 pm »


Is it just me that thinks DF has a over-active 'survival of the fittest moral', if you put 10 kittens into a room with a FB 9 will die and the other one will become a legendary fighter and kill it.
Not quite, it's widely known that during the eons of cats paraziting on dwarves they had most of their mental abilities, like  learning, atrophied. Except the mind control.
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Quote from: Creamcorn
Dwarf Fortress: Where you meet the limit of your imagination, moral compass, sanity and CPU processor.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=103080.0 Fix sober vampires!
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=91442.0 Dwarven Cognitive Science

BastiBasti

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #439 on: December 30, 2011, 04:50:08 pm »


Is it just me that thinks DF has a over-active 'survival of the fittest moral', if you put 10 kittens into a room with a FB 9 will die and the other one will become a legendary fighter and kill it.
Not quite, it's widely known that during the eons of cats paraziting on dwarves they had most of their mental abilities, like  learning, atrophied. Except the mind control.

Mind controle? Now i'm worried.
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Wannazzaki

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #440 on: December 30, 2011, 04:51:42 pm »

The trick to deal with mindcontrol cats, is it kill them while they are babies. Butcher them, drown them, feed them to the crundles, torch them. It doesn't matter but as long as they don't mature and begin feasting on the dwarven sweetmeat that is the brain (soaked in brandy) the fort will be safe. God forbid everyone have multiple cats..the whole world will grind to a standstill from their feline entropy!
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BastiBasti

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #441 on: December 30, 2011, 05:08:37 pm »

The trick to deal with mindcontrol cats, is it kill them while they are babies. Butcher them, drown them, feed them to the crundles, torch them. It doesn't matter but as long as they don't mature and begin feasting on the dwarven sweetmeat that is the brain (soaked in brandy) the fort will be safe. God forbid everyone have multiple cats..the whole world will grind to a standstill from their feline entropy!

Hey, thats okay, i kill them anyway ^^
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Captain Mayhem

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #442 on: December 30, 2011, 05:09:38 pm »

OT: Chills just went down my spine as I slowly realized the horrific truth.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

EDIT: Also, somehow I managed to mix up quotes and spoilers...
« Last Edit: December 30, 2011, 06:50:32 pm by Captain Mayhem »
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Wannazzaki

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #443 on: December 30, 2011, 05:33:30 pm »

OT: Chills just went down my spine as I slowly realized the horrific truth.
Quote
Crundles are the new ‼magma‼

Only when dealing with me
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Son of Slaanesh, full of desire, He does cocaine and his head's on fire! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Rider! Doom rider! Na na, na na!

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #444 on: December 30, 2011, 07:58:06 pm »

Worthy of note: After ~14 months, give or take, I wasn't paying attention.  So much strawberry wine to occupy my time...  Sorry, what?  Oh yes.  After some amount of time, the child has become a Novice in dodging, and is being fed entirely on the proceeds from various caravans.  This is a very good sign.  The child enjoys cheese.  And if he doesn't enjoy cheese, he'll eat it anyways.  We have a lot of cheese.  He has also become a "hardened individual" and moved from "fat" to "corpulent".  Unfortunately, his intellect, something he did have in his favor, has wasted away.  Presumably, his time spent calmly dodging turkey chick beaks as grown on him, and he has learned not to think very hard.  This is currently in debate, but the others seem to consider this favorable.

Sarganto

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #445 on: December 30, 2011, 08:42:31 pm »

I just read this whole thread and I absolutely love the idea.

Had a lot of laughs too. I tip my hat to girlinhat.
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #446 on: December 30, 2011, 08:56:07 pm »

Worthy of note: After ~14 months, give or take, I wasn't paying attention.  So much strawberry wine to occupy my time...  Sorry, what?  Oh yes.  After some amount of time, the child has become a Novice in dodging, and is being fed entirely on the proceeds from various caravans.  This is a very good sign.  The child enjoys cheese.  And if he doesn't enjoy cheese, he'll eat it anyways.  We have a lot of cheese.  He has also become a "hardened individual" and moved from "fat" to "corpulent".  Unfortunately, his intellect, something he did have in his favor, has wasted away.  Presumably, his time spent calmly dodging turkey chick beaks as grown on him, and he has learned not to think very hard.  This is currently in debate, but the others seem to consider this favorable.
Where does corpulent rank on the sliding scale of fatness? Extra padding's good for combat even though it probably won't come up with an armored fighter.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #447 on: December 30, 2011, 09:00:12 pm »

I believe "corpulent" is more than "fat".  He has, after all, just been standing around eating cheese and wine all day.  And he's ecastatic.

Would it be very wrong of me, or very right of me, to dress him in a turkey leather robe when he comes out?

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #448 on: December 30, 2011, 09:07:45 pm »

I believe "corpulent" is more than "fat".  He has, after all, just been standing around eating cheese and wine all day.  And he's ecastatic.

Would it be very wrong of me, or very right of me, to dress him in a turkey leather robe when he comes out?
Very wrong, it should be many robes worn over many cloaks made of turkey leather lap him in turkey leather proof and have him terrify the goblins with his insane gobbling- I'm assuming he's going to gobble because he will have never learned words.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #449 on: December 30, 2011, 10:24:25 pm »

It appears the child has died.  Not, as was assumed, to infection.  Not to depression or insanity either, nor for lack of food.  In fact, the Stray Poult snatched at him with her first toe, right foot, shattering the skull and bruising the brain.

For scientific record, I present:
Spoiler: Kogan-Pre (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Kogan-End (click to show/hide)

Science has been performed.  A life has been taken.  Another year rolls past the fortress.  We set a grave and move out the uneaten food - to be moved into the next child's cell.  Science must resume.
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