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Author Topic: Dwarven... "Child Care"  (Read 419360 times)

Jacob/Lee

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #765 on: June 28, 2012, 10:32:43 pm »

Oh man, Girlinhat, that thrall post was great. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

zombat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #766 on: June 29, 2012, 06:43:16 am »

Are thralls magma proof?

If not then they can be weaponised.

You may be thinking "but if we can roast the thralls then we can roast the invaders so what's the point?"

To that the answer is simple:
Because we can.
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tahujdt

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #767 on: July 02, 2012, 03:10:16 pm »

Are thralls magma proof?

If not then they can be weaponised.

You may be thinking "but if we can roast the thralls then we can roast the invaders so what's the point?"

To that the answer is simple:
Because we can.
They will catch fire and become a !!THRALL!!, but they will not die from that.
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Logen910

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #768 on: July 02, 2012, 06:39:13 pm »

i must say i am very experienced in this. alltough my experiences show they are best for feeding fish or zombies. you cant make super soldiers out of them. tried to let them fight against animals and so on but in most cases they were only crippled and therefore useless for me. also you cant burn their fat anymore which was possible in the old days. making them incredible fat only makes them incredible slow and therefore incredible dead sooner or later. so you cant create a natural armor out of their skin. last but not least you cant really use them for slave labors in the mines. their best use is in your farming industry but sooner or later you will have so many peasants you dont know what to do with them. so i fed them to zombies so they become zombies too. they made great training material for my soldiers.
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kujpat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #769 on: July 02, 2012, 11:14:29 pm »

This thread has gone from a (horrific) discussion about how to train children into emotionless warriors, to weaponized flaming zombies.

I approve and expect nothing less from this forum :D
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Sabreur

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #770 on: July 05, 2012, 01:28:50 am »

This thread has gone from a (horrific) discussion about how to train children into emotionless warriors, to weaponized flaming zombies.

I approve and expect nothing less from this forum :D

The best part is that the two topics are directly related, RE: Zombifying The Children.

Corai

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #771 on: July 05, 2012, 01:34:08 am »

This thread has gone from a (horrific) discussion about how to train children into emotionless warriors, to weaponized flaming zombies.

I approve and expect nothing less from this forum :D

The best part is that the two topics are directly related, RE: Zombifying The Children.

But then you cant control them! They would destroy your fort.
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bukitodinos

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #772 on: July 05, 2012, 08:10:26 am »

hmm, give them a chicken and a dog! lets keep it simple

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Sabreur

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #773 on: July 06, 2012, 10:59:30 am »

This thread has gone from a (horrific) discussion about how to train children into emotionless warriors, to weaponized flaming zombies.

I approve and expect nothing less from this forum :D

The best part is that the two topics are directly related, RE: Zombifying The Children.

But then you cant control them! They would destroy your fort.

That's what cages and minecart shotguns are for!  We don't need to control them.  We just need to aim them.

Hanslanda

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #774 on: July 06, 2012, 11:04:26 am »

That's what cages and minecart shotguns are for!  We don't need to control them.  We just need to aim them.

You sir, are a Master Weaponizer. +1.5 internets for you.
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TallAsAHouseDwarf

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #775 on: July 15, 2012, 01:40:58 am »

You know, I just had to register to these forums, just for the original post of this thread. At first, I just have to say that you guys are awesome in some really twisted way. I mean, minecart shotguns, "child care" and such. I just really hope that I would never irl have to test anything designed by you. Unless, perhaps, if you plan to make me a super soldier. :P

Anyway, I didn't read the whole thread, just a couple first and last pages and I just decided to give my $0.02 how to go about the "training". That is, if it works in the first place. And this is probably something someone here has thought of already anyway.

1. Carve a long entrance cavern to the fortress and a drawbridge after that and enough individual rooms for your future army between the bridge and the entrance and put a small drawbridge on each door.
2. Seal in kids with armor and training pets, using pasture, assigned beds and whatever and when the kid goes to sleep, just close the bridge.
3. When they grow, draft them to the military and issue them the armor they have in the room and a post outside the entrance.
4. When a siege comes, just raise the main drawbridge and let loose the army of super lunatics.
5. Watch the circus.

Of course butt naked super lunatics would be more entertaining but perhaps had shorter lives.

Then after the siege, just wait for them to go to sleep again and raise the bridges one by one. Rinse and repeat.
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TallAsAHouseDwarf

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #776 on: July 15, 2012, 01:55:17 am »

Ok, ignore my suggestion. It took like two pages until someone proposed the same thing.
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Silver Dragon

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #777 on: July 15, 2012, 02:42:57 am »

its nice to see some creative ways to deal with kids, i usually restrict them fairly low and if i forget end up sealing them in a room till they kill each other off wile the parents are sitting happily in there legendary dining hall eating there fine meals and not careing abit :P
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Kadzar

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #778 on: July 15, 2012, 07:21:45 pm »

its nice to see some creative ways to deal with kids, i usually restrict them fairly low and if i forget end up sealing them in a room till they kill each other off wile the parents are sitting happily in there legendary dining hall eating there fine meals and not careing abit :P
This makes me wonder what it would take to set up a Dwarven Battle Royal or Hunger Games.
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misko27

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #779 on: July 15, 2012, 07:24:08 pm »

its nice to see some creative ways to deal with kids, i usually restrict them fairly low and if i forget end up sealing them in a room till they kill each other off wile the parents are sitting happily in there legendary dining hall eating there fine meals and not careing abit :P
This makes me wonder what it would take to set up a Dwarven Battle Royal or Hunger Games.
...

Holy crap. I never thought of that. Newest attraction to my arena will be 30 children versus 15 naked goblins.
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