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Author Topic: Dark lord RTD  (Read 11858 times)

Dermonster

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #45 on: August 27, 2011, 04:31:46 pm »

Go outside and shift the earth surrounding the tower into a more defensible position for the tower, while leaving would-be attackers exposed.
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

Ahra

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #46 on: August 27, 2011, 04:37:09 pm »

"hey you better not wreck any potential herbs....or you will test this brew"
Logged
And then the horror hits: This was just spring.
We are SOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked.
Quite fucked indeed.

areyoua

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #47 on: August 27, 2011, 04:39:20 pm »

"Who needs to defend the tower when we can let them in and give them loans at predatory rates?"

Ahra

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #48 on: August 27, 2011, 04:43:35 pm »

"or swap the air with acidic poison MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!"
Logged
And then the horror hits: This was just spring.
We are SOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked.
Quite fucked indeed.

dragnar

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #49 on: August 27, 2011, 10:39:20 pm »

Keep founding evil banks, banks everywhere! Surely, this will end the world.
[3] Well the world doesn't seem to have ended. But you now have five separate banks in the tower's main entryway, all competing over the 0 customers!

Muffins! Glorious muffins of war! Still his meager stocks of ingredients wouldn't allow the creation of his more pyromantic pastries. He'd need to put together an ingredient list for his creations, then he'd go into town with a few of his dormies later.

Assemble ingredient lists for:
*list*

[4] Not a problem. Takes some time to reason out some of the recipies, but you get it all sketched out. The Soufflé was especially easy. I mean really, don't they ALL summon demons?

Begin planning, and constructing a humanoid robot frame then create an ai program for it that makes it listen to my commands
[1] You build faster than ever, throwing together parts faster than the eye can follow in a burst of inspiration. It will be perfect. A robot that is better than a human in every way, and completely loyal to you! You think. Marking the three laws "Eh, if you feel like it" won't be a problem, right?

i shall take whatever dried herbs may be in the lab and make the most poisonus brew i can...
[1+1] You brew one of the most deadly mixtures you could imagine. A gaseous poison that can kill anyhting that inhales it in moments! ...and you made it in an open-topped container. you ust barely manage to throw in a counter-agent to render it harmless before things starrt going south.

Go to town and try to commision work to build a bank
[6] It's a pretty long walk to the nearest town, about 5 miles or so, but you make good time. And then... er. you arne't quite sure what happened once you got there. All you can remember is being offered large amounts of alchohol, and now you appear to have a contract in your hands commisioning a VERY expensive bank's construction.

Continue cleaning and lab-prepping!
[4] A bit more work and your lab is finished, every bit as well-equipped as you could hope for.

Go outside and shift the earth surrounding the tower into a more defensible position for the tower, while leaving would-be attackers exposed.
[8]The tower is now secure. Very secure. In fact, you aren't quite sure how ANYONE would get past this massive field of spikes. There are dragons less deadly than this thing!
...now, how do you get out?
Logged
From this thread, I learned that video cameras have a dangerosity of 60 kiloswords per second.  Thanks again, Mad Max.

Dermonster

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #50 on: August 27, 2011, 10:42:52 pm »

Build a bridge from the edge of the field o' spikes to the entrance, set it to disintegrate at my command.
Logged
I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

Draignean

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #51 on: August 27, 2011, 11:06:35 pm »

Wait until derm has constructed the bridge, then go into town and purchase ingredients necessary to create the confections listed. If I have any extra cash then invest that in additional ingredients for the kitchen.

 
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I have a degree in Computer Seance, that means I'm officially qualified to tell you that the problem with your system is that it's possessed by Satan.
---
Q: "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
A: "No, not particularly."

IronyOwl

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #52 on: August 28, 2011, 03:34:50 am »

Wait until bridge is constructed. If that never really happens, claim and tidy up some personal quarters for myself. If it does, head into town and find an orphan (or something similar) to serve as an apprentice.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Ahra

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #53 on: August 28, 2011, 05:08:09 am »

"Uhh guys? if you see an mist, dont. inhale. you will spasm for 5 minutes as your lungs disintregrate and your eyes expand out of their hollows"
check if the former inhabitant had any protective equipment for handling with gases, an gasmask of sorts.
Logged
And then the horror hits: This was just spring.
We are SOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked.
Quite fucked indeed.

adwarf

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #54 on: August 28, 2011, 05:49:11 am »

Reprogram it with 1 Law, 1.) It can not harm, and must follow my every order.
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areyoua

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #55 on: August 28, 2011, 07:42:04 am »

All right, enough with the banks.

Wait until the bridge is built, then go out to the town UltraValican is in and preach the merits of banking, and how a loan is all positive and won't bite them in the ass later.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2011, 04:34:28 pm by areyoua »
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dragnar

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #56 on: August 30, 2011, 01:04:07 pm »

Just waiting on UltraValican...
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From this thread, I learned that video cameras have a dangerosity of 60 kiloswords per second.  Thanks again, Mad Max.

Sinpwn

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #57 on: August 30, 2011, 04:07:58 pm »

To the waitlist!


Name: Gibbins
Inventory: Evil Shadowy cloak of evil shadows... of doom. Gibbins' Gruesome Goggles of Ghastly Gazing.
Skills: Shadowstep, Hysteria, Fear bolt
A bit of backstory if you want: a self proclaimed Terrormancer who studied in shadow magic and illusions.
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UltraValican

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #58 on: August 30, 2011, 04:28:10 pm »

Find whose in charge of the construction, and get a "give build this for a much less radical price or I blow your brains out onto the floor" discount
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Would you rather be an Ant in Heaven or a Man in Hell?

dragnar

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Re: Dark lord RTD
« Reply #59 on: August 31, 2011, 01:33:35 pm »

Build a bridge from the edge of the field o' spikes to the entrance, set it to disintegrate at my command.

[7]You correct the oversight quickly, forming the tops of some of the spikes into a serviceable bridge. Collapsing it should be a simple enough matter, though you aren't quite sure how quickly it will fall apart.

Wait until derm has constructed the bridge, then go into town and purchase ingredients necessary to create the confections listed. If I have any extra cash then invest that in additional ingredients for the kitchen.
[6] The nearby town seems surprisingly well-stocked for such a little dump, and you are apple to purchase supplies for everything on your list. It did cost most of your savings to buy it all though...

Wait until bridge is constructed. If that never really happens, claim and tidy up some personal quarters for myself. If it does, head into town and find an orphan (or something similar) to serve as an apprentice.
[2] Well, there are plenty of orphans in town. Their worth as apprenticies is questionable though, as they tend to be even scrawnier and poorly educated than the rest of the peasants...

check if the former inhabitant had any protective equipment for handling with gases, an gasmask of sorts.
[2] It seems they did not. Your hasty solution seems to be keeping the poison under control though, so long as no one gets too close to the cauldron you were using.

Reprogram it with 1 Law, 1.) It can not harm, and must follow my every order.
[6]Right, rule 1: Never hurt anything, always follow orders. That should keep it under control... Right?

Wait until the bridge is built, then go out to the nearest town and preach the merits of banking, and how a loan is all positive and won't bite them in the ass later.
[1] Did I mention jut how poorly educated these poor fools are? Because what THEY heard out of your complicated and confusing speech  was "I will pay you for the right to bite you in the ass later."
Huh. Oddly accurate for something deduced from ignoring most of your speech.

Find whose in charge of the construction, and get a "give build this for a much less radical price or I blow your brains out onto the floor" discount
[5] Luckily there was an address on the contract, and it takes only a few minutes after locating the place to discover that these construction workers react very well to death threats. In fact, you've now got them doing the job at-cost. Seems they physically cannot go lower than that, as they don't have the materials on hand.
Logged
From this thread, I learned that video cameras have a dangerosity of 60 kiloswords per second.  Thanks again, Mad Max.
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